His Green Eyes
by xox-hattii-xox
Summary: Vampires exist. Whatever you've heard to say different is. a. lie. But they aren't as Stoker told. They are different. They walk among you without your noticing. How do I know? My name is Bella Cullen. I'm a Vampire and this is my story.
1. Temptations

**A.N**

**I'm revamping His Green Eyes. So you don't have to re-read it again. But I think that this version will be better than before.**

Tedious. Repetitive. Mind-numbingly dull.

Just a few words that explain my life. Here, sitting in this clinical lunch-room, was the time I most longed for a release. Even if it was for only a few minutes. Sleep is bliss to those incapable of doing so. A few hours away from the repetitive days that led to repetitive nights. They start and end the same as they always have. The way they always will. Every day seemed more monotonous than the last. I closed my eyes, no longer wishing to see the horribly familiar room.

_Bella!_

My head turned infinitesimally to the direction of the 'voice' I knew to be my sister Alice's.

_how is he?_

The tone of her thoughts were worried. She was right to be so. Jasper was not as well-practiced as the rest of us and it had been almost 3 weeks since he had last hunted. It was foolish to play with fate in this way. Any one of the humans surrounding us could suffer from his thirst.

I tuned myself into Jasper's thoughts and recoiled as the burn hit the back of my throat. His thirst was almost unbearable. I withdrew from his head to return to Alice, my mouth turned down into an almost imperceptible grimace.

Her worried thoughts immediately became panicked as she scanned the future for what could happen. Flashes of the other students faces flew through her head, always followed by a small view of her husband.

Like myself Alice was _gifted. _Her ability to view the future was as helpful as my mind-reading, if not more so. I had never heard of one with a talent like hers.

She calmed down as soon as she was sure that there was no immediate danger. Her thoughts became preoccupied with plans to hunt that night. As much as we tried to prolong the gaps between hunts, Jasper could only take so much. His usually butterscotch eyes were coal black and wild with restrained thirst.

_thank-you for doing this. _she thanked me, gratitude showing in her face and thoughts.

What was there to say to that? My pleasure? I bit my tongue to hold back my cutting remark. Alice had enough on her mind without my making it worse.

All of the general thoughts of the crowded cafeteria were mostly directed towards the excitement of a new student arriving at the school. In a normal school, things like that may go unnoticed but, with the total population of Forks High School being a small seven-hundred or so students, every-one knew about everything. Well, almost everything.

To pass away yet another tedious lunch hour I moved to Angela Webber's thoughts. I found her to be a generally nice girl. She was one of those rare people who were utterly content with their lives and had no need to gossip to make it better. She was also about the only one who was not obsessing about the 'new arrival'. Her thoughts were centered around a up-coming trip with she had planned with her baby twin brothers. I knew from the amount of times I had visited her thoughts that she cared for them a great deal, despite the large age gap. It was refreshing for me to come across some-one whose mind was not revolving around themselves alone.

A distraction caused me to look up and leave Angels' thoughts. All of the heads in the lunch-room turned towards the large swinging doors that led to the rest of the school.

A hush fell over the room as a tall boy with pale skin, unusually colored copper hair and startling green eyes entered. This was the new boy whom everyone's thoughts had been pointed towards.

As he looked around, a blush crept up his cheeks as he noticed everyone staring at him.

I bit back a gasp of pain as Jasper's bloodlust heightened. The blood pooling in the boys cheeks was almost too much for him to handle. Emmet placed a hand on him to hold him in his place. This was no place for Jasper to loose his control.

Another slightly smaller boy appeared at the new boy's shoulder. I suppressed a small shudder. Mike Newton. He was a terrible choice in friend. When my family and I first arrived in Forks, he had been amongst the first if the many lust-filled boys that had crowded around me and my sisters.

The two boys sat down at an table full of Newton's friends and the buzz of chatter started up again. Emmet released his hand on Jasper and he relaxed some.

"sorry" He muttered ashamed.

"it's alright, you weren't going to do anything, I could see that" Alice soothed him.

I fought to keep the scowl off my face that would give her lie away.

"Tonight we'll hunt" She muttered, too low for any human ears to hear her.

Jasper nodded once and turned away. Alice, sensing the end of the conversation, got up with her tray and gracefully glided out of the room. Jasper and her, though less flamboyant about their relationship than Emmet and Rosalie, understood each other completely. there was little need for words where those two were involved.

_Isabella Cullen?_

I looked up at the call of my name, realizing halfway through that it had not been called just thought. I recognized the 'voice'. Jessica Stanley. One of the most two-faced girls in the school. I listened harder to her thoughts and understood that the new boy must of asked about us.

"Jessica Stanley is giving the new boy all the dirt on us." I muttered under my breath, knowing that my family would hear.

"anything good?" Emmet asked, chuckling. I smirked at him and listened closer

"that one who just left, that was Alice Cullen" I picked out Jessica's nasally voice easily " the blonds are Jasper and Rosalie hale, they're twins. the large one is Emmet Cullen and the other girl is his younger sister, Isabella Cullen."

I frowned in confusion as I suddenly realized that I could hear nothing from the seat opposite Jessica. No thoughts at all. Not even a whisper. I looked up to see whether the boy had moved and my eyes locked for a second with a pair of emerald eyes across the room. A blush tainted the boys cheeks again before he quickly looked down. He was still there, so how could I hear nothing.

"Alice and Jasper are together and so are Emmet and Rosalie" Another voice informed the boy. Mike's. _freaks _his thoughts were yelling _they all live together as well. disgusting _"As in _together _together. Isabella is the only single one but don't fool yourself she doesn't date. Apparently none of the guys here are good enough for her" he sniffed. Jasper snickered as he caught Mike's comment.

"so, is the new kid afraid of us yet?" Emmet prompted me, turning away from Rosalie. I ignored him, my mind reeling from the silence of this boys thoughts.

"sooo, Edward ..." Jessica started but her words were cut off by the school bell.

Edward? Well at least I had a name for him now.

"shall we?" enquired Rosalie. I nodded and we rose gracefully from our seats and headed for our classes.

Alice and I were playing the role of juniors, while Jasper, Rosalie and Emmet were acting as seniors. They headed towards their classes and I walked into the partially empty biology lab.

I was the only person in this class lucky enough to have a table to myself. I spread out my books, not that I needed them I already knew everything in there, and settled into my seat ready for yet another tedious hour.

_Edward seems nice – he's quiet though I bet he's nervous on his first day. I wonder why he came to Forks now. Chief Swan has been so lonely in that house._

Angela's caring thoughts reached me as her and Edward walked in. with a grimace, I realized that the seat next to mine was the only one that was available. Humans normally shied away from us and our closeness was not desired. He was in for an uncomfortable year.

He walked down the center aisle to the teachers desk for his seating arrangements. As he moved by my desk, the few footstep he took seemed to pass in slow motion. The whirring of the ventilation shafts seemed louder and more ominous.

His scent hit me like a high speed train, flooring my against my seat. In that instant nothing mattered. All the work, all the effort I had ever put into my restraint. All the years I had been denying my thirst. None of that mattered anymore.

I was a predator and he was my prey. I was a vampire and he had the sweetest blood I had smelled in years.

A maximum of seven seconds was all it would take to kill every human in this room. Then I could have this weak human's delicious blood. I would be nothing but a blur to them. As I killed them, their last memories would be of this biology room and nothing else. My body tensed, preparing to jump.

I had never killed innocents. Never, even in my rebellious years. And now I planned to mindlessly slaughter a whole class of them. My past almost mocked me as I planned the death of my classmates.

The monster inside me smiled.

A small draft of clean air drifted into my face as a sheet of paper was placed onto my desk. The scent off of it diluted the delectable fragrance a minuscule amount. Enough for my mind to focus slightly.

In my head I saw an image float across my brain. they were the scarlet eyes of my past.

The sight made me stop. I didn't want my eyes to become that ghastly crimson colour again. The sight of them truly made me aware of what I was. The golden hues they were now lessened the monster in me.

A second had not even passed, Edward was still taking that first step. I clenched my hand on the metal bar beneath the desk. The flimsy metal wasn't up to the task and collapsed in my hand. I clutched my hand tighter, curling the bar into a tight ball, and dropped it to the ground. I kicked it out of the way before anyone could notice it.

The eyes...my eyes still taunted me from my mind.

His blood?

Exposure.

Pleasure?

Shame.

My families faces stared at me as I wrestled between my instincts and my conscience.

It was Carlisle's face that stopped me. My father's face simply looked at me, nonjudgmental. Just there. His face was the complete opposite to mine. Like day to night. Dark to light.

If only there were some fresh air, anything void of Edward Swan's scent, for me to breath.

But I didn't _have _to breathe.

Immediately I held my breath and the relief was instantaneous. I could still taste the scent on my tongue, but it was nothing compared to the real thing. I knew I had to get out of there before i could do something stupid.

Edward was almost at the desk by now, my mind had figured out so much in such a short time. I quickly raised my hand and waited for the teacher. He looked up just in time.

"Mr Banner, I feel really ill – could I please be excused to the nurses office?"I said using up my oxygen. If I had to speak again I was going to need to breathe and that wasn't in any-one's best interest

_hmm I wonder ... no not a perfect Cullen _

"yes Isabella you may be excused." he said looking back to his lesson plan

I got up, gathered my things and walked to the door too quickly, but I was too distressed to keep up the perfect human charade. As soon as I was out the classroom doors, I was running. No-on would see me, we were all but invisible while running. I ran out through the car-park and into the forest surrounding the school.

I stopped about a mile into the trees and immediately sucked in fresh air, anything to get rid of the scent of Edward swan

After about five minutes of doing so, I ran back to the car-park and dived for my Volvo. I hid. It felt cowardly but there was no other word for it.

I hid until nearly the end of final hour. What was I going to do? I had to sit with him for an hour every biology lesson. That was impossible. I couldn't handle two minutes. I needed a plan. I left my car and headed for the office building. Heading to the desk, I lent down and leaned towards the elderly secretary, Mrs Cope, who sat bent over her work.

"Mrs Cope?" I asked using my softest voice.

Her heart still stuttered as she looked up. This was the normal reaction with humans, seeing our inhuman beauty often startled them.

"yes Isabella, what can i do for you?" she asked me, kindly. Humans were always willing to help. We could be very persuasive.

"I was wondering whether I could reschedule my sixth hour biology lesson to another subject? I've already studied this one at my last school." I supplied as an excuse,

"well Isabella I'm afraid that that is simply not possible. There is no other free spaces available at that time."

The door opened and swung shut again as some-one walked in, but I paid them no mind.

"Please, Mrs cope. Or perhaps I could drop the lesson altogether and use the time to study?" I was practically begging now.

The door swung open again and as the scent hit me I realized why that first person had not interrupted my head with their thoughts. Edward swan stood at the back of the room, a look of genuine fear on his face. I quickly held my breath as I turned back to Mrs cope.

"Never mind then, I can see that it's impossible, good-bye" I said through clenched teeth, still holding my breath. I ran from the room, at human pace, and headed for my car.

My siblings were already there waiting. All of their thoughts turned panicky as they saw the look on my face. I threw the car into drive and flew out the car park, hitting 70 by the end of the main road

Alice's face went blank as she got caught up in one of her visions. I watched with her.

I saw myself in a car flying down the motorway at night. It was soon, but there was snow on the ground. Obviously, I was not in forks...

but I didn't want to leave.

As soon as I made this decision, Alice's vision swirled and changed.

Me, again, waiting in the shadows, stalking across the room towards the sleeping Swan boy. His scent pulling me in.

"stop" I moaned. I didn't want to see any more.

"sorry" she murmured.

I drove deeper into the forest towards our home. I started to pull into the drive leading into our house until Alice stopped me.

"drop us here." She commanded "go and tell Carlisle" They all got out the car, silently. I could tell that they were waiting to question Alice as soon as I was gone.

Alice stopped by my window. " you'll do the right thing. I know you will." I nodded not trusting in myself enough to agree " I'll miss you, no matter how short a time you're gone." She looked sad as she turned away and ran back towards the house.

I slammed down the accelerator and raced back into town. No longer knowing what right and wrong was anymore. Nor which I would choose.


	2. Clearing My Head

My eyes scanned the night as I stood atop the highest branch of a giant pine-tree. I could see the far off pin-pricks of light of the town nearby. But aside from that, the night was undisturbed and silent. My mind, on the other hand, was another matter all together.

It had been four days since I had fled from Forks and out here, in the Denali woodland, it was hard to remember how delectable the scent of Edward Swan was. With only the fresh forest air for me to breath in, I could almost imagine myself able to return. I almost jumped and ran for home but the memory hit me again, as it had done every day, and I slumped back against the trunk of the tree.

The whistle of wind that came with the speed only vampires could achieve hit my ears. I stiffened in defence but quickly relaxed as I caught the 'tone' of the thoughts drawing closer to me.

_BELLA!_

The silver-blond head of my friend Ariana **(a/n sorry i got rid of Tanya i don't like her much)** popped up onto my branch where she settled herself gracefully and cocked her head questioningly to look at me.

_Bella, why are you here?_ she questioned.

"Hello to you too." I said, nodding at her. She raised her eyebrows at me as I dodged her question.

_W__hat are you running from? _she thought, her curious amber eyes boring into mine. I closed my eyes, shaking my head to clear it.

"Ariana" I said at last, opening my eyes "have you ever met anyone, a human, who smells better to you than any of the others? much better?" I asked her, hanging my head in shame.

_Ah yes 'la tua cantante' _she thought, smiling a sad smile,while her eyes filled with sympathy. _once _she continued_. I didn't last five seconds. I regret it, that poor girl. _

Like my family and i, Ariana and her coven preferred to satiate their thirst with animal rather than human blood. I could feel the shame, regret and sorrow through her thoughts.

_Is that what you are running from Bella? You must have so much self control not to run back to forks and kill this poor human. _

She felt _proud _of me. Proud? Proud because I had managed not to give into the demons I knew resided within me? Proud because I had had to restrain myself to not kill an innocent human? Proud that I wanted with all my body to murder Edward Swan? My recently butterscotch eyes burned black as the memory reminded me of his tantalizingly scented blood.

Ariana must have noticed because she pulled me up sharply.

C_ome on Bella, let's hunt. _She back-flipped off the branch, making me laugh at her antics.

"show off" I mumbled, knowing she would hear.

her tinkling giggle reached my ears with ease as I as I threw myself high up into the air and plummeted towards the earth. I landed gracefully upright and took off running after her. Her scent was easy to trace.

I caught up with her easily, my speed being superior to many of our kind. We stopped as we reached a small clearing in the center of the forest. I darted ahead and threw myself at the herd of deer that were convened in the open space. The scent was repulsive to me with the memory of Edward's blood in my head but I pushed that thought to the back of my mind as I pounced. I brought down the buck, effortlessly breaking it's neck and pressed my mouth to it's throat.

When we were satisfied, Ariana came to face me, using words this time, rather than thoughts.

"go back Bella." she said quietly " you are strong enough for this."

I looked away, avoiding the trusting gaze that I didn't deserve. Everyone always thought the best of me. Why did no-one realize the monster than lied inside of me?

"look at me!" she demanded. I raised my head.

"I know you Isabella Cullen. you are home-sick. You miss your family, and I know that they miss you. Esme especially. You are strong enough for this. I would not tell you this if it were not true" her long lost Welsh accent began to creep into her speech.

"Go home Bella." and with that she stepped forward and hugged me with enough force to break a humans back" be sure to visit some-time soon, but when you have less on your mind."

With a tinkling laugh and a gust of wind she was gone.

I sat on the forest ground and closed my eyes. Images rolled behind my eyes like a movie screen. Emmet, Rosalie, Jasper, Carlisle, Alice and Esme.

That last one hurt the most. I hated the fact that I had hurt her, leaving without a goodbye.

It was this that decided it for me. My family was too important for me to just throw away. I would make Esme happy again. I would make them all happy again. I didn't know why my being there made them happy. I was nothing but a monster yet they looked past this to see me as family. And family makes people happy.

As I made my decision, I knew that Alice's visions would have changed to fit me back in the picture again. I hoped she would tell Esme but, knowing Alice, she would want to keep this a surprise as long as she could.

I laughed to myself. the first proper laugh in four days.

A pair of startlingly green eyes swam across my lids. Edward Swan's eyes questioned me as I stood, wondering what this decision had in store for him. Though of course I couldn't be sure, even in my imagination his mind was silent.

I opened my eyes and threw myself back into the trees that surrounded me. My car was only a few miles away and in the darkness, no one would see me. Perfect.

Leaves and branches lashed out at me, as though clawing at me to stay. But I didn't care.

I was going home.


	3. Coming Back Home

Gushing torrents of typical Washington rain flowed down my windscreen like a river, making it virtually impossible to see the road, even for my enhancedvision.

Through the downpour I could just about make out the battered sign that read _'Welcome to Forks; Washington'._ The fading black print made my heart leap as the road between my family and myself became all the much more shorter.

I drove quickly through the lights of Forks' town, taking care to stay away from any roads that could lead to either the police-station or the Swan house. Even through the rain and the metal of my car, the barest traces of that oh so _delectable _scent made its way towards my flaring nostrils. I swallowed and turned up the air-conditioning, breathing in deeply to eradicate any vestiges of the fragrance.

As the street lamps of the town became darkened trees of the forest, I caught the first strings of Alice's thoughts and the small amount of displaced air as she seemed to bounce in excitement.

I pulled the Volvo up the three mile dirt-track our house used as a drive-way and my family's thought became all the more clear.

_Just a few more seconds. Can you hear me yet, Bella? _I rolled my eyes as Alice's questioning made it to my ears. Of course she knew I was already here. She'd probably been documenting the seconds since she'd caught a glimpse of my arrival.

_Alice is looking better. Much better than yesterday. The only reason she would e excited would be ... Bella? _I barely suppressed a smile. Alice could never hide anything from Jasper, even when she kept her mouth shut. But his thoughts proved to me what I had previously been unsure about; Alice hadn't said a word about my return.

_Red sweater from Ralph Lauren? Or Black jacket from Gucci? _I outright laughed at Rose's thoughts. She put just as much effort into her clothes as Alice did, though for different reasons. I was sure Rosalie's was just to stand out from the humans she despised so much.

_Rose's eyes are looking a little dark. We need to go hunting sometime soon; the bears aren't as irritable this time of year, but still... _Emmett's mind assaulted me with images of his most recent hunting trip, accompanied by Jasper this time.

I caught a view of Esme's frowning face. _I miss Isabella. _Carlisle's thoughts joined the picture, causing guilt to pang deep in somewhere near my gut. _Just as much as Esme, yet I have no idea what to do about it..._

_Bella's piano is gathering dust. She'll need it soon, when she comes back._ I smiled softly. Esme; ever the optimist in my life. Always there with a smile and a bright-side on hand.

An almost simultaneous intake of useless air echoed through the now silent house; The sound of my car's tyres throwing gravel to the side of the track had registered on all their ears.

I'd barely cleared the drive-way and pulled into the clearing before all of my family had convened on the front porch, surprise written across all their faces.

"Bella," Carlisle breathed as I opened the door and stared at them all.

"Hello," I smiled as my father almost leapt off the porch and swept me into a hug.

His arms were joined by the rest of my family's, their scent mingling into one large cocktail of fragrances and their thoughts into one melody of happiness.

"You will never put me through that again, Isabella," Carlisle murmured. "Me or your mother,"

"What happened?" Esme asked as they all released me and she wrapped a loving arm around my shoulder. "Where did you go?"

"Denali," I told her, hanging my head slightly as we made a small procession into the house and around the dining table Carlisle often used for family meetings such as these.

"How are they all?" Jasper asked, images of Ariana, Isolde, Claudia, Louis and Samuel flickering through his brain.

"Fine," I nodded, sitting beside Esme. "Ariana asked after all of you, sending her best wishes, and both Louis and Samuel want to know when we intend to visit again. They miss their hunting buddies," I grinned at Jasper and Emmett.

"We shall have to spend spring-break with them," Esme muttered, an imagined calender appearing in her mind. "But never mind that..." She looked at me pointedly.

"Ah, yes," I nodded grimly and began. "What did Alice tell you all?"

"Edward Swan's blood was and is too powerful to resist. Yet somehow you managed to run from the class in time and escape. Then you took off," Alice recited, keeping her eyes locked on mine. "I just told them what happened,"

"Emmett, you should know most of all what I mean when I say that the blood of the Swan Boy is almost a siren call." I moved my eyes from Alice's to stare at the wooden table. "The most delectable scent that seems to burn your throat should you try to refuse. And you don't _want _to refuse..." I bowed my head, feeling as though I were confessing my sins before God. "I thought I would have knocked down everything I have built up; all my morals, my ethics, everything I'm proud of myself for. I would never have lasted the hour."

I exhaled deeply and moved my gaze to my mentor's. "What do we do, Carlisle?"

His amber eyes showed years of sadness as he cataloged his options. "We have few options. We can either relocate-" His speech was cut off by a huffing sigh from Rosalie. She out of all of us, disliked the moving process, for reasons she had yet to disclose and I respected her too much to pry into. "We can 'Home-School' Bella, but that may arouse suspicion. Or the third option is that we attempt to carry on acting as normal as possible."

The scores of sympathy that rang through the minds of my family, especially that of Emmett, still seemed not to be enough to stop some hesitation in their thoughts.

I sighed. "We have to stay here. I won't uproot the family for _my _weakness. This is only a small inconvenience. I can handle it." I nodded determinedly, intertwining my fingers as I mulled it over.

"You are sure?" Carlisle pressed, concern heavy in his ancient voice.

I nodded again. "I _will_ handle this. And it's not up for debate, Esme," I caught onto her worried thoughts. "I'm sure I'm quite capable of restraining myself from a seventeen-year-old human."

I hope.

No, it was foolish to think like that. I could do this, I could do this, I could do this...

"We will all be here for you," Alice took my hand and squeezed. Tight. "If you ever feel yourself slipping..."

"Thankyou," I smiled. "But I won't slip."

"You never know, Bella," Jasper murmured from his seat across the table. "It's difficult for me everyday-"

"And have you killed anyone in Forks?"

"Not one of them smell to me as this Swan boy does to you," He reasoned, folding his arms across his chest with an air of finality.

"I-"

"It doesn't matter, Bella," Jasper smiled sadly, "We'll be there for you,"

I sighed. "I know you will. I just wish you didn't have to be,"

He chuckled slightly, standing. "I know," and left the room, Emmett following him after shooting me a smiling glance.

Clearing his throat pointlessly, Carlisle followed suit and, after kissing Esme on the cheek, made his way upstairs to fetch his briefcase for his shift as the hospital.

As I watched his lips press to hers to say goodbye, I felt a strange, yet not unfamiliar, pang deep in my unbeating heart. I longed for something such as theirs. A love so right it was almost tangible. Someone to love, and be loved by in return, in a different way to how I loved my family. Was it too much to ask?

I shook my head quickly, trying to dispel the thought efficiently. At the moment, I had things that were much more important to worry than... _that._

I heard the rustling of clothes and caught Rose leaving the room through the side-door to the garage. I looked up around the room expecting it to be empty now. It wasn't.

Alice's topaz eyes gazed at me disapprovingly as she surveyed my outfit.

I was still wearing the same clothes I had been wearing the day I'd driven away to Denali. And the forest and my hunting had left them in a state of scruffy tatters that I knew would make Alice shake her head in distaste.

"Bella..." She started, her voice already pleading. _Please?_

I sighed. "Fine,"

She smiled. "_Excellent! _There's a new shop opened up in Port Angeles and I think the lines in there would make look great on you,"

As much as I hated shopping, I owed her after these past few days.

_I missed you. _She thought as we made our way down the darkening streets. _I__t wasn't the same with you gone. _

I opened my mouth to speak before she cut me off.

"But you're back now," She nodded. "And you _won't _leave again, right?"

"Right," I agreed, smiling at her.

The night was more comforting when I wasn't alone.


	4. Chemistry In Biology

**(a/n) - hi every-one it's me again – obviously lol **

**- anyway a longer chapter this time making up for the smaller one last time. anyway hope you enjoy chapter 4**

Alice walked ahead of me, eyes slightly unfocused, Rosalie lead her inconspicuously. Emmet and Jasper flanked both my sides, their eyes watched the school grounds cautiously.

all the children at forks high school were having fun in the snow that had settled over-night. normally we would have been joining in, keeping to ourselves obviously, but it was not a normal day. it was anything but.

Emmet and Jasper's sudden switch from playful brothers to over-bearing body-guards may have been comical if it wasn't so annoying.

of course I was positive that I could handle this first day back. if I wasn't I would have stayed at home. but that didn't stop me from being nervous, from dreading the pain that biology would bring.

_it's going to be okay _Alice thought _he'll be no-where near any of us until biology. _I breathed a sigh. not of relief, of irritation. I knew this already – no one ever came near us.

_you'll do fine – _she added. "come on. let's go inside" she spoke out loud this time and glided ahead. Emmet and Jasper dropped their poses and hurried after her.

I waited outside for a few seconds, until I saw a flash of bronze hair, then I ran for the door and the safety of the inside.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

the day dragged until the bell rang for lunch. I got up, gathered my things and left the English room in a hurry, eager to reach the lunch-room before Edward swan's scent hit it. I sat swiftly at our usual table and waited for my siblings to arrive.

as I waited, I searched through the heads of some of the humans approaching the lunch-room so I could brace myself for Edward's arrival. although Alice assured me that he would be down-wind of us I was taking no chances.

I skipped into the head of Jessica Stanley who was walking with Mike Newton and Edward himself. although her mind was full of vulgar thoughts of them both, I watched and endured it as they walked the final corridor to the lunch-room.

I noticed, as I was watching, my family sat down beside me and pulled myself back to my own head, every-one else thoughts becoming a mixed babble of noise in the back of my head.

I tensed and held my breath as I counted down until Edward would enter the lunch-room. I stepped into Alice's – who was sitting opposite me – head so I could view when he entered.

through Alice's eyes, the door swung open revealing Mike Newton, Jessica Stanley and Edward. as Alice had promised, his scent was down-wind, so I relaxed and let myself breath again.

_woah kid wind down a bit _Emmet's thoughts interrupted my own.

well, I thought I'd relaxed. I felt Jasper's powerful influence swirl round me relaxing me further. Like myself and Alice, Jasper was _talented. _he was able to influence people's emotions but that was nothing compared to how other's emotions influenced him. the tension he must have been feeling from our family must have driving him insane. So I let my body slump comfortably into the chair and I looked up at the ceiling.

unfortunately due to our kinds enhanced abilities and my extra talents I had no problem picking out Jessica's nasally voice from across the lunch room.

"Edward. What are you staring at?" she whispered. I looked up in time for to spot a movement of bronze colored hair.

I let myself into Mike Newton's thoughts.

_poor kid – crushing on Isabella already. can't he see that she hates him. _

Is that what they thought? that I hated him? I had barely spent 10 seconds with him. could my expression of blood-lust be taken as hatred? and how would mike know? was he in that lesson too? but then, I had paid little attention to things in that lesson.

"Isabella Cullen's staring at you." Mike stated. his jealous thoughts concealed well in his voice.

"does she look angry?" he asked quietly, not looking up.

"No." Mike answered _I wonder why that is? the look in her face in biology was one of pure loathing. _

is that all Mike knew. what he had himself seen – had Edward told no-body of the blackness in my hungry eyes? the look of apparent _hatred _that was shown on my face?

so many questions and so few answers. I searched fruitlessly in an attempt to see inside this strange boys head. As I stared at him willing him to let me in Edward looked up. upon seeing me, his face changed from a very pale complexion to a furious blush. like wine being split on a white tablecloth. his head dropped down again. I giggled quietly at his embarrassment.

_what? _Emmet questioned. I shook my head at him. I was paying attention.

the others were curious too. their thoughts asked what I had heard to change my mood from one of a funeral attender to a one of comparatively cheerful demeanor.

_Isabella Cullen had better stay away from my man. _Jessica's thoughts reached me. at this my mood dampened immediately. this threw me. I had no idea why those few words had changed my mood so quickly. but suddenly I was curious. more curious than before. was it true?

as I processed this the high-pitched ringing, that hurt our overly sensitive ears, sounded. my family rose, me with them, and we set off to class.

Jasper and Alice walked with me to the door of Biology. Alice quickly checked the future.

_you should be okay – but I'll be keeping an eye out _she promised before turning away and dragging Jasper with her. Alice knew how quickly a mind could change. that was what affected her visions. peoples choices. taking a deep breath,I stepped into the room.

ARGH! even holding my breath and refraining from smelling him his taste was delicious and made the burn in the back of my throat burn all the more. I walked slowly to the desk at which he was already sitting. I dragged my chair to make a scraping noise to announce my arrival.

Recalling the thoughts I had eavesdropped on during lunch, I decided to make amends for my behavior in the last lesson. even if it meant using up my oxygen.

"hey." I said quietly. my soft voice caused him to jump.

he didn't answer

"my name's Bella Cullen" I continued "I didn't get a chance to introduce myself last lesson" I held out my hand delicately.

he took my hand. confusion clear on his face. he still said nothing.

"you must be Edward Swan." I carried on. this was fast becoming hard work.

"how do you know my name?" he asked. ah he speaks. I was beginning to think that this would be a one-sided conversation.

unfortunately I suddenly had a very pressing problem. I had run out of oxygen. All my talking had used up my oxygen. If I wanted to seem civil and keep speaking I would have to breath I inhaled through my mouth lightly. ARGH! his taste hit me again. my muscles tensed to attack and venom pooled in my mouth.

I forced myself to keep talking.

"oh every-one knows your name – why should I be any different?" I challenged.

he looked abashed. I giggled at his shamed expression. his eyes grew wide at the sound of my laugh.

_keep it light _I told myself. right. I repeated the small talk I had heard around the school.

"it's too bad the the snow. isn't it?" I questioned.

"not really." he said. his answer shocked me. did this humans brain function differently from other?

"why?" I questioned. why... what? why... was I becoming so interested in this human boy? good question.

"I grew up in phoenix. it's a lot lot hotter there." he muttered.

"forks must be a difficult place for you to live in." I stated.

"you have no idea." he mumbled turning back to the board as the teacher called the class to order. I took another deep breath. the thirst scorched down my throat. I wanted nothing more than to quench it. to seek solace from the burn that followed me endlessly,

I forced myself to pay attention to the lesson, though I knew that there was no point. I knew everything and more that this teacher had to teach. there was not much new a high-school biology teacher could tell some-one with two medicine degrees.

we were doing a practical today. unfortunately for Edward he was my lab-partner. I watched him set up the microscope and handed him the first slide, giving him a chance first.

as his skin made contact with mine he automatically pulled away. of course. my skin would be freezing, and he hated the cold.

inwardly cursing the monster I was I dropped the slide into his hand and kept a safe distance away from his skin.

he took a swift glance. "pro phase" he muttered. and moved to write it down. I took a small peek at the slide. he was right. so he was intelligent. for his kind, anyway.

I held out my hand for the next slide and slotted it in. "anaphase" I deciphered. and held it out for him.

we continued in this way – finishing way before any-one else. the burn in my throat intensifying.

I remembered some of my earlier, completely irrational, curiosities.

"so... is your girlfriend good at biology?" I questioned. shock crossed his face.

"what girlfriend?" he asked looking utterly perplexed. I could see no contradiction in his emerald eyes. Crap. How was I going to explain this. I just listened to the thoughts of one of the people on your table. yes that would work.

"umm..." I said thinking quickly "Jessica Stanley umm... I heard her talking about you two in the bathroom after lunch." I saved myself quickly.

"no. I'm not dating Jessica" he confirmed rolling his eyes. "how has she gotten that into her head?" he muttered more to himself than me.

I wasn't quite sure what happened inside me at his words. my thirst seemed to dim. only slightly. still achingly painful but enough to notice a small difference. what was this feeling coursing through me. I had been detached from my human emotions for so long I was unsure as to what this was. I would have to ask Jasper.

I could still hear Edward muttering to himself, so turned back to face him. he looked up and I noticed that his eyes, unlike his mind were quite easy to read. I could pick out a lot of emotions through those eyes. I felt like fate had thrown me a life-line.

"did you get contacts?" he suddenly questioned.

"no." I answered automatically smiling at the thought of improving any of our eyesights.

"oh. I thought there was something different about your eyes." he looked away cutting off my best path to his thoughts.

I suddenly went colder as I realized what he had meant. the last time he had seen my eyes they were black from the thirst. now, after a weekend of hunting, just to be safe, my eyes were a light butterscotch. I would need to be more careful answering questions like that again. what was it about this boy that made me slip up like this.

"so Bella," Mr Banner said approaching our table " did you not think Edward should have a go?" _they know more than me these Cullen kids. they could put me out of a job _

I stifled a laugh. "actually sir he identified half of them himself." the surprise on the teachers face was quite funny.

"were you in an advanced placement group in phoenix?" Mr Banner asked him.

"yes sir I was." Edward answered quietly. so I was right he was smart.

"well it's good you two are together then." he said _give the other kids something to do_ his thoughts grumbled as he walked off.

Edward sighed and began doodling on his worksheet. I felt this weird need to get to inside the head of this boy. and if I couldn't break in I would have to ask.

"why did you come to forks?" I asked realizing too late that I sounded rude. and not caring at all, if I got answers.

"it's complicated." he said. yet another mystery. was there no end to them?

"tell me." I asked. the workings of his mind were fascinating - I wanted to know more about him. I was becoming to interested in this boy.

"my mother got remarried." his face twisted down.

"and...?" I asked sensing that there was more.

"well Phil, he plays ball for a living. not well. just minor league but still he travels a lot." he stopped.

"so your mum sent you here, so she could travel with him?" I asked curiosity getting the better of me

"no she didn't send me here. I sent myself." I had completely lost him.

"you see my mother stayed behind to look after me. but she was unhappy so I decided to come and live with Charlie so she could travel with him." he finished.

"but now you're unhappy." I guessed.

"so!" he said "does it matter?"

"no I-" he cut me off

"and why does it matter to _you _anyway?" he was becoming defensive now.

"that's a very good question." I mumbled to myself rather than him. why did I care so much? was it purely the closed off crevices of his mind that kept me entranced? yes. That why I was doing this. Yes. there was no other answer

The lesson progressed, tediously as his hidden thoughts were no longer being revealed. though with-out the distraction of his mind's inner workings I began to notice the thirst more intensely. I could almost feel my eyes turning darker from it.

luckily, for both me and Edward, the bell went. I immediately got up and out before any-one else was out of their seats. I had probably just ruined of the half chances I had cooked up of being civil with this, but the burn was becoming unbearable.

I practically ran to English gasping at the cool, clean air. Alice was waiting for me at the door.

_how did it go? _she asked curiously as we both walked in.

we took our seats at the back of the class. I recounted the last lesson to her too quietly for humans to hear. her eyes widening until I thought they would take over her face. luckily the teacher then called on her claiming her attention.

she had no other chance to start a conversation with me though I could hear her working out what questions to ask me once we were back at home.

I groaned inwardly. knowing Alice she would read a whole lot more into this than was necessary.

**(a/n) – so what do you think? love it? hate it? review and tell me **

**also if you have any suggestions or ideas for what else could happen at the Cullens house write and tell me please!**

**next chapter will be up soon – love you all bye**


	5. Jasper

**a/n – hey. sorry it's taken so long to update but I had a complete block. **

**anyway - I did a bit about the Cullen's at home. being completely vampiric. just a filler chapter. does nothing for the story but I thought it would be good to show them away from the human thing. it's just a filler. anyway heres chapter 5.**

I sat at home waiting on my sofa counting the seconds till Alice would break into my room demanding answers to the questions I didn't want to answer. _I _didn't even know the answers to them myself.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1- BELLA!

my door smashed open revealing a small pixie-esque vampire standing in the door-way. I groaned and set aside my book as she danced into the room. she folded herself gracefully in the middle of the floor. she looked up with expectant eyes.

_so? _she questioned silently.

"so... what?" I stalled.

"Bella!" she whined. I sighed in defeat.

"I spoke to Edward today because I heard at lunch that he thought I hated him. I wanted to prove to him that there was no _personal _aggravation towards him." I frowned. that was _my _theory towards this. Though that didn't explain the yearning I felt to know his thoughts.

her eyebrows rose in blatant disbelief.

"what _were_ youexpecting Alice?" I asked her.

_nothing... much _she told me. _but I was hoping for something a bit more exciting than just that. _

the dissatisfied tone to her thoughts made me roll my eyes, but I couldn't blame her. the repetitive fashion in which we lived our days made us crave a break from the tedious routine.

"are you done yet?" I asked impatiently. my answer had canceled out all her other questions. she got up.

_I'll be in on the computer shopping. I think Jazz wants to speak with you._ she glided out the room. I followed and knocked on jasper's study door.

I could hear his thoughts humming a lot of random notes. he was hiding his thoughts from me. I was abruptly anxious. I heard him laugh. of course he would feel my mood change. I walked in and sat in the chair opposite him.

_what are you doing Bella? _his thoughts and face were disapproving.

"what do you mean Jazz?" I asked – confused.

_Bella during that lesson your emotions were all over the place. it was agony to me. I was concentrating on you to warn Alice if you got to thirsty. - But_ _what is it about that boy that had you feeling that way. I was prepared for nervousness, thirst, dread and fear but I got way more than that. _

"what did you get Jazz?"

_curiosity, humor, jealousy, self hatred, confusion and those I anticipated. _his face turned down at the memory. _you were making me drive Alice insane with all the mood swings I was getting from you._

I smiled apologetically.

_so... what are you doing? _he asked again.

"Jazz, I'm not doing anything. you can ask your wife if you want to know!" I almost yelled becoming irritated. every-one was making such a big deal out of a simple conversation.

"okay fine – I'll leave it alone." he stood up. "you need to hunt. come on. get Emmett and I'll get the car."

I nodded and left the room.

I ran down the stairs and found Emmett. he agreed and we ran to the garage where Jasper had Emmett's jeep waiting. I called shot-gun and Emmett ended up in the back. Jasper pulled out and shot off.

Emmett and Jasper were my preferred hunting companions. we made it a competition between the three of us.

we drove for a full hour and stopped at the side of the large forested mountain range. we got out the car and ran for a few minutes till we were in the center of the range.

we inhaled deeply.

"Grizzly!" Emmett yelled excited and darted off to the east.

"Brown bear!" Jasper exclaimed and ran south.

I inhaled again _mountain lion. _I gave over to my senses and began the hunt.

I ran off to the west, following my nose, the scent becoming stronger as I got closer.

as I got closer I jumped up a tree, to get height on my attack, and jumped from tree to tree.

I spotted my prey and attacked. the lion's eyes widened slightly as it realized the danger. I snapped it's neck and quenched my thirst.

I stood up not a hair out of place and inhaled again. _another grizzly _I personally preferred the mountain lion but I followed the scent, giving in to my instincts.

when I was satisfied I lay down in the middle of a clearing and waited for my brothers to join me.

I heard Emmett's approach through the disturbance in the air his running caused. I heard his intentions in his thoughts and moved out the way just in time.

I giggled as he hit the floor with a resounding thump.

"damn mind-reader" he muttered and brushed himself off. we sat there and waited for Jasper.

after a few minutes we caught a new scent. _human._ we stood and raced after Jasper's scent.

Jasper had the most trouble with our chosen life-style and if he caught the fragrance of a human when his self control was at it's lowest... we had to get to him quickly. I sped ahead pushing against my limits to get there in time.

I caught Jasper's change in direction as he discovered the doomed human's perfume. panic filled every cell in my body as I changed course to follow him. I flew ahead.

I caught Jasper's thoughts as he grew closer to the human. they were incoherent with thirst.

Emmett's thoughts were panicked. we weren't gong to make it in time. but I was faster than Jasper. I caught a glimpse of his blond hair as he ran.

as I got closer he became aware of my chase. he spun around to defend his hunt, snarling and growling at me, falling into a hunting crouch. his eyes were midnight black with thirst.

Emmett caught up and stood beside me, both of us crouching in defense.

"Jazz." I called in a soothing voice. "Jazz, stop now. that is an innocent human there. you will not take there life like this."

he growled at me. no amount of reasoning would sway him from his hunt. his watchful eyes burned with the thirst as I stalked towards him.

_Bella? what the hell are you doing. he'll hurt you. - _Emmett's frantic thoughts reached me. I ignored them. I was immortal. I could be 'reassembled'. this poor unsuspecting human could not. I would have to attack Jasper to distract him from the hunt.

I jumped for him, catching onto the his thoughts as he dodged. I caught myself in time and landed on my feet.

he backed away. away from me and away from the hunt. the self-preservation instinct was too strong. he knew that I was attacking and his survival techniques kicked in.

he launched himself up a tree and to the top-most branch. I followed and saw him jump from tree to tree away from me and, more importantly, the scent of the human. I sped up to catch him.

as I neared him, the scent of the human dimmed. his eyes no longer burned with the intensity that they had before. the scent had made him thirsty beyond recognition and what-ever animal blood that he had had before becoming 'distracted' had been cast aside by the instincts that had kicked in.

he jumped into a patch of forest and stopped. I watched as he became motionless and accompanied him. he sat there, silent sobs shaking his body. I walked next to him and placed my arms around him. his thoughts were becoming more coherent as he reached sanity again.

the self disgust in them was obvious. he hated to be weak. he hated knowing how easily he could let us down, how easily he could let Alice down.

we sat there for a immeasurable amount of time. I knew from the absence of Emmett's thoughts that he had gone home to calm down a probably frantic Alice. she would have _seen _everything.

eventually Jasper stood up.

_thank-you _he thought. his shameful expression so upsetting I gathered him in another hug.

"it's okay." I reassured him, releasing him.

his pitch black eyes reminded me of this abandoned hunting trip.

"hunt! now!" I ordered and took his hand. we ran as far away from the humans scent as we could.

Jasper took down 3 bears and drained them. his eyes became topaz once again.

he stood up and brushed himself off. smoothing his hair.

_come on. let's go home. _he thought. he took my hand for moral support and we ran home, seeing as how Emmett had taken the car.

**right so... what did you think? i just wanted Bella to have a go at saving some-one rather than restraining her-self. **

**any-way thanks for your reviews so far. I love opening it up and seeing that people are actually reading it. **

**see ya – hattii xx **


	6. Making Mistakes

**a/n – hey just wanted to say thanks again for all the reviews people have been typing. for me. wow.**

**any-way hope you like – read on**

the ride to school that morning was quiet. Jasper was so ashamed at what he had almost done he had spoken little that night. we all tried to convince him that it wasn't his fault and none of us were mad at him. but he had just shut himself away in his study for the night, only coming out for school.

as we pulled in to our usual parking spot we noticed a thick layer of ice coating the ground. going at the speed I drove at I barely felt the road. we all groaned simultaneously. humans tended to be very uncoordinated on the icy ground and we were always appallingly graceful. it made us stick out even more.

we got out and myself and Alice waited by the car until the bell went feeling no interest in faking clumsiness to fit in.

I felt a loud roaring hit my overly sensitive ear-drums. I winced at it and turned to see the cause of the noise. I almost burst out laughing. an old Chevy truck was making it's way cautiously around the car-park. it was a pathetic excuse for a car, most of the cars in forks were, but this one just hit the limit. I never usually noticed the other students vehicles seeing as, normally, when I was in the car-park I was speeding away or talking to one of my siblings.

I looked to see who the driver was. of course. it was him. the bronze hair and green eyes were impossible to mistake. I laughed at his terrible choice in cars and turned back to Alice. her worried eyes were obviously asking me a question of some sort. I checked her head. ahh Jasper. she was so worried about him.

I rolled my eyes and searched the school for his thoughts. his came easily with the practice I had had over the centuries.

his thoughts were remorseful. he hated seeing Alice in any kind of pain. he was planning on making it up to her at lunch.

I opened my mouth to tell her when her eyes glazed over.

"NO!" she cried terrified

"Alice?" I called before becoming caught up in one of her visions.

_it was today. Lauren Mallory's car careered round the corner of the lot. she had turned too sharply. she pulled her hands off the steering wheel and covered her face. her car was heading for the back end of the Chevy truck. directly were Edward was standing. _

the vision finished as I turned to see it play out before my own eyes. I saw Lauren's car turn the corner and didn't stop to think.

I ran at my full speed towards the truck. none of the nearby humans saw me. their basic senses too slow to catch my movements. I caught Edward around the waist and dropped him to the floor. his head made hard contact with the concrete. fear flooded me at the noise.

I turned to the more pressing problem and I braced myself for the oncoming van. I placed my hands out wide to stop it coming any-where near him. it halted. withdrawing my hands, I noticed two imprints of my hands in Lauren's car. I looked down at Edward. his eyes were watching me, shocked. he had seen everything.

but at the moment it didn't matter. I lent closer to him listening to his heartbeat and breathing return to normal.

I then realized it had been there leaning over him saying nothing for quite a while now.

"Edward, are you alright?" I questioned frantically, worried about his head "are you hurt at all?" I could not explain my sudden worry. why was I worrying about a simple human?

"I'm fine." he mumbled trying to sit up. I pushed him back down. he could have concussion.

"Seriously I'm fine!" he said. annoyed now. I chuckled at his irate tone.

"how did you get here so fast?" he questioned. my humor stopped short.

"I was right next to you Edward." I told him. I was a good liar, I had had a lot of practice in my many years, and to be a good liar you have to seem confident and sure of your story.

I looked him in the eyes. a good liar never broke contact first. but as I looked I couldn't pull myself away. his green orbs glittered in confusion.

"I saw you." he said defiantly, breaking me out of my trance "you were by your car."

"Edward I was with you." I stuck to my story.

"No." he replied. his eyes betrayed no hint of doubt in his story.

"please Edward!" I was practically begging him.

"will you tell me later?" he asked. if I was less tense I would have rolled my eyes. I could hear the onslaught of thoughts now. we were still trapped in between the two cars. I could have broken out easily but that would have put my family even more at risk of exposure. the ambulance was coming now so I needed my alibi.

"fine!" I told him, and I sat back as I waited for the rescue team to break in.

I then heard my family thoughts.there was going to be hell to pay for this.

I had risked the very thing that we so desperately avoided. Exposure. I had put them all in danger.

the cars were finally pulled out the way and I heard the confusion of thoughts as I was discovered there. but they blew off the fact they hadn't seen me before as a trick of the eyes. humans could be so easily swayed. why was Edward proving to be so different.

the ambulances arrived and Edward was carted into the back of one. I let out a small chuckle at his obvious embarrassment and hopped into the front of the ambulance he was occupying.

I ran ahead of the stretchers into the hospital and made straight for Carlisle's office.

I walked in without knocking.

his apparent surprise at my sudden presence disappeared as he took in my expression.

_you didn't Bella? _he thought his mind jumping to the worst conclusion. he thought that I had killed Edward.

"No no nothing like that." I reassured him.

_I'm sorry I should have known...the eyes. _my eyes were still a light topaz.

"it's alright, but, the boy. Edward. he was in an accident and I went to save him. he hit his head hard on the ground. but carlisle... he saw everything and I'm so worried I hurt him" I sat down in the chair as I finished.

_come on then. it seems I have a patient to deal with. _he thought rising. I stood too and we made our way down the corridor.

I sat outside the x-ray room as carlisle looked at the scans. I could hear his thoughts.

_hardly ever seen her so worried. what is it? she was worried she hurt him. why? _

I gave up waiting and went to join him. he stood with his back to me though I knew he heard my approach. I quickly checked over Edward's x-rays and immediately felt relieved as I saw that here was no damage done.

as soon as this was confirmed I had to see him. to check, I told myself.

"I'm just going to check on him." I murmured as I slipped out the room, hoping carlisle would not see through my lie. for some reason I needed to be near this boy.

I searched through the thoughts of the receptionists till I found his room.

I found Lauren's mind with no problem. she and Edward had been placed together. she was babbling to him about some non-sense. I watched him through her thoughts. the boredom on his face was so obvious it was quite comical that she didn't notice it. her thoughts kept up a constant commentary about his looks. her thoughts became less coherent as she fantasized about herself and Edward. I cringed, withdrew from her head and stepped through the door.

I made my way over to their beds and sat on the end of Lauren's. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at her disgruntled thoughts at my presence.

I looked over to see Edward staring at me with an almost accusing look on his face.

"how come you're hear?" he questioned abruptly. I scowled slightly at his tone.

"I was in this accident too. they had to check I had no concussion." I lied, knowing that there was no way _I _could be injured by a mere car.

"then why aren't you stuck in bed like us?" I chuckled. I could hear carlisle's light foot-steps walking down the corridor.

"it's about who you know." I stated simply. "but don't worry, you know me." I giggled and hopped off the bed as carlisle entered the room.

Carlisle went straight over to Edward's bed and placed a hand on his head.

"Edward do you feel dizzy or confused at all?" carlisle went straight in to his examination, silently praying for concussion to make up for my mistake.

"no sir. I feel fine" he told carlisle quickly "can I go home now?"

"sure. just go to reception for some painkillers and then you can leave." he reassured Edward and turned away to Lauren.

Edward climbed out the bed and walked over to me.

"can I talk to you?" he asked quietly. I looked up at him. I hadn't noticed how much taller than me he was. he stood a good five inches above me.

he looked down at me . waiting. I groaned quietly and turned on my heel. I walked into the corridor quickly with him following. I had made my decision. I would be cruel and ridicule at his every, probably correct, thought. I felt disgusted with myself. but I had to do it, to save my family.

"what?" I asked placing as much venom as I could on that simple word. he looked taken aback.

"you owe me an explanation." he stated.

"I saved your life. if anything, you owe me!" I said cruelly.

"I want to know what happened!" he still persisted.

"what do you think happened Edward?"

"all I know is that one second I was standing there, alone, about to die" I winced at his blunt word choice "and the next, you're there. and your hands left dents in that other car and the back of my truck." he seemed to be running out of steam.

"you think I somehow appeared next to you and prevented a two tonne car from crushing you with my own bare hands?" he was much too observant " Edward, I'm a 17 year old girl. there's no way I'm that strong. And, last time I checked, I couldn't materialize out of thin air." I ridiculed his every correct idea, hating myself.

"I know what I saw." he said becoming angry again.

"no-one will believe that story. you'll have your head examined." I laughed at him.

"i'm not telling any-one." he told me. this surprised me.

"then why does this matter?" I blurted out before regaining my mask.

"because I don't enjoy lying, but if I have to I need a good reason." he waited again.

"why don't you just thank me and move on?" I asked, annoyed.

"thank-you." he almost spat the word at me. that hurt me, more than his anger had, that despising tone to his voice cut me.

"is that all you wanted?" I asked concealing the hurt in my voice well.

he nodded silently

"good!" I swung around and walked away. as soon as I was out of his line of sight, I ran away.

I ran to carlisle's office and dry sobs shook my frame. I hated myself for that. I had started to genuinely like this boy. but now I had had to be unforgivably cruel and hurtful.

I pulled myself together and ran to school via the forest. I arrived at the school and jumped into my car. I noticed my dents left in the truck had been smoothed out. I wondered which of my brothers and sisters had done it.

I drove to the hospital and waited in my car for carlisle's shift to end. if I had to face the wrath that was my angry siblings I wanted carlisle's calming presence to be around when it all kicked off.

**there. hope you enjoyed. next chapter will be up soon (hopefully) **

**review please - I will love you eternally**

**hattii xx**


	7. Visions Of My Future

**a/n – hi it's me again**

**I just wanted to tell you that a lot of the dialogue in this chapter is very close to that in mid-night sun, so please no harsh reviews about it – it was very difficult to come up with my completely own stuff for such an important piece.**

**any-way here you go chapter 7**

me and carlisle drove home in silence. both of us knew what awaited at home and I slowed down to wait awhile before it started. but, all too soon, I pulled into the 3 mile drive that led to our house.

I could hear their thoughts. I was surprised that Alice and Emmett were not angry at me, but the other two were fuming. I could hear Rosalie planning what her attack would be.

I parked and got out the car. I took a deep, unnecessary, breath and opened the door.

"HOW COULD YOU? YOU IDIOT! YOU EXPOSED US! WE'LL HAVE TO MOVE AGAIN!" Rosalie shrieked at me as soon as I stepped through the door. "YOU ONLY JUST GOT BACK! HOW COULD YOU CAUSE SO MUCH TROUBLE IN 2 DAY!" I winced from the sound of her loud voice on my sensitive ears. I barely noticed the others standing behind her. I opened my mouth to speak but carlisle beat me to it.

"Rose, stop." his calming voice did nothing to help her.

"HOW CAN YOU TAKE HER SIDE CARLISLE? SHE-" she yelled till carlisle cut her off.

"I was merely going to suggest moving this to the dining room Rose. now please." he motioned to Rose to go ahead. she flounced into the room and sat facing me. I sat opposite her. Emmett and Jasper joined Rosalie. carlisle sat next to me and Esme next to him.

Alice walked in last with a frustrated look on her face, her eyes screwed up. she sat on my other side, not seeming to think about it. Jasper wasn't happy being away from his wife and considered joining her but he held his ground.

before Rose could start again I cut in.

"look. I'm truly sorry for what happened. I acted without thinking and risked us all. but I am sure that the swan boy will say nothing. we will NOT be in danger."

"but how can you know that?" Rose was trying to keep her anger under control "you can't hear his mind. how do you know he won't talk?"

"I promise you he won't-" but I was cut off by Jasper's angry voice

"that boy should have died today Bella! if you had let it be we would still be fine."

"Jasper what do you think would have happened if he had been killed? if his blood had been spilled. do you think I would have been able to control myself? I would have exposed us then!" I had come up with a good argument. It was true, but I only came up with this excuse while I was waiting in the car for carlisle. "isn't it better that no-one was killed and only one person saw me, rather than a school-full of people and one innocent boy dead."

"yes. it is better. only one witness. only one person to deal with." I realized what he meant and I saw red.

I hardly felt Alice's and carlisle's restraining arms as I attempted to leap for Jasper. he backed against the far wall, obviously stunned by my strong reaction.

"he will NOT be harmed!" I snarled between clenched teeth.

"the boy should have died today Bella! we would only be setting that right!" he growled back.

"he will NOT be harmed!" I repeated.

"Bella. it is too dangerous for him to live. if he opens his mouth about this we will ALL be in danger. I can't allow that to happen to Alice, Bella. I can't let her near any type of danger."

"Jazz." Alice started

"don't tell me Alice. I know you are more than capable of looking after yourself. but I can't let anything near you." he looked at her pleadingly to understand.

"I know that Jazz and I wasn't going to say that. I want you to do something for me. let Edward live."

I saw what was in her head and gaped at her.

"he's our friend, or he will be." she finished.

I saw a run of imaged through her head. Edward scruffing up Alice's hair both of them laughing. Emmett, Jasper & Edward laughing together at some joke. Edward sitting with us all at lunch. all of the images were crystal clear. they would happen. the timing was unknown. but it would happen. I sat there in shock of it.

"Alice..." Jasper's thoughts were wavering, clearing up a new future.

"Ah see. he won't say a thing." Alice was sure of this.

"Alice... what does this mean?" my words were almost incoherent with the shock.

"a change is coming Bella." she answered simply though I could tell there was more.

"what are you hiding Alice?" she was focusing on an upcoming shopping trip, trying to keep me out. "what is it? is it about Edward?"

at the mention of his name she dropped it.

"NO!" I yelled at her. seeing what she saw made me lose all rational though again. "NO! IT CAN'T BE!"

"you can't stop it Bella. it will happen, one or the other." she told me calmly.

I looked at her in disbelief. how could she be so calm about it? what was the glitch in her head that made this seem like a good thing?

"will some-one tell the rest of us what the hell is going on?" Emmett moaned. he hated mine and Alice's silent conversations.

I ignored him. this could not happen. this would not happen. I could see exactly what she saw. but I would not accept it.

"I'll leave." I whispered under by breath.

"Bella, you only just came back. you can't leave." Esme told me. I could feel her heartbreak at the thought of my leaving

_you're not going. I don't see it. I don't even know if you can leave anymore. - try it – try to imagine leaving. _I followed Alice's instructions I pictured myself leaving. I could feel a whisper of the hurt I knew I would feel if I truly left. it did not seem a very good option, but it was necessary. I would not do that to Edward Swan.

_would you leave? would you leave Edward unprotected? Jasper could change his mind. _

"he won't – he won't hurt you." I told her. there was no wavering in Jasper's thoughts now. he wouldn't upset Alice.

I was not the person to be protecting Edward Swan. Alice's visions showed me that.

_I can accept it Bella, and I love him as well. _

"love him ... as well?" I questioned

_god, Bella you are so blind. can't you see what I've shown you? your future. it's unavoidable. it will happen. watch._

I tuned out the images flashing through her head. I did not want to see them. I knew that I would like them far too much.

"will some-one tell me what's going on!" Emmett almost yelled.

"Emmett, isn't it obvious. Alice sees Bella falling in love with the human she saved today." Rosalie told him annoyed.

"what? fall in love with him?" Esme's questions went unanswered as I got up from the table and ran into the forest.

I ran for half an hour and lay there on the wet ground as the rain poured onto me. Alice's visions danced in the front of my mind. Edward laughing with my brothers and sisters. Edward with his arms around me, both of us smiling. then I almost screamed as I saw the others. my eyes blood-red swimming with the blood of Edward Swan. his crumpled body lying in front of me drained and life-less. and her other vision. Edwards face. all the small human flaws gone. his eyes opened the irises, a glowing red. his eyes reveled nothing. there was an emotion there but I could not decipher it. how did he feel about becoming this? about being frozen for-ever at 17? how did it happen?

I could see myself, if Alice's visions about my love for Edward were indeed true, being completely selfish and asking carlisle to change him for me. would he hate me if I did that?

No. I would not damn Edward's soul. did I even love him? no. not yet. not yet I didn't. but I could see it happening. even so. I would not damn Edward to this half-life that me and my family live. I would not kill him either. there had to be a way to stop Alice's two forked vision from coming true.

there had to be.

**so... what do you think?**

**review please. **

**I'll write again shortly – hopefully**

**hattii xx**


	8. My Resolve Is Crumbling Down

forks high school. it was boring no longer. it had become a place of hell.

to keep Esme happy and to raise no suspicions about us all, I stayed in forks. I returned to my normal life. almost.

in my old life I did not spend the days in torment. in my old life, the days were simply passing me by in one long dragging day. now I had to refrain myself from dooming Edward Swan. I had to keep myself form speaking to him. from even noticing him. of course the latter did not go easily. then again, neither did the first.

on that first day back after the accident I sat in the biology room, by myself, and waited for Edwards arrival. I heard the chair next to me scrape back against the floor and forced myself to keep looking forward.

"hey Bella." he said politely. I merely nodded at him, ignoring him as best I could. he did not speak another word to me the entire lesson.

that first day was torture. I hated the fact that I had barred myself from contact with him. but I had to save him. I would.

I kept expecting the days to get easier, to get used to the temptation to talk to him. but they never did.

so the days dragged. I began to lose count of how many days passed concentrating on keeping away.

The longer I went with-out talking to him, the more frustrated with me Alice got.

"well I hope you are satisfied Bella. the future is gone. there is nothing there except garbled junk. it's giving me a headache." she told me furiously over lunch.

"it's the only way Alice. I won't damn him." I told her simply and blocked her out. I was in no mood for conversation.

one of the most annoying thing in my life at the moment was the most bizarre. Jessica Stanley. the girl sat on mine and Edward's table before _every _biology lesson. she chattered non-stop about meaningless non-sense, adamantly ignoring me, and all the while keeping a constant image reel of her fantasies of her and Edward in her thoughts.

a school dance was coming up. I could hear it buzzing around most of the girls thoughts as they worried about what they would wear and who they were going with. I heard all of Jessica's worries of whether or not Edward would ask her. as the dance drew closer, however, the more worried she got. until one day she decided to take matters into her own hands.

it was biology. as usual Jessica sat on the edge of the desk talking to Edward when she decided to bring it up.

"sooo, mike asked me to the school dance this weekend." she told him. this was true. newton had manged to pluck up the courage to ask her.

"...great, Jess. you'll have a great time." Edward said. her face dropped at this. she had been hoping for a better reaction than that.

"well... I told him I would think about it." she said sheepishly.

"why?" was the reply.

"well," she looked down her cheeks reddening. "I was going to ask you whether you wanted to go" she mumbled, still staring at the floor.

something hit me. hard. I felt a rush of emotion at these words. I could not pinpoint what it was. I waited, ridiculously anxious, for his reply.

"Jess, I'm very flattered at that, but, I think you should go with mike. I'm in Seattle that day." the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding whooshed out suddenly. then I was abruptly worried again. did he want to go with her? was he just saying that to help out mike?

"oh okay." jessica hopped off the desk and went to her seat, considering the possibility of mike.

Edward groaned and rested his head on the desk. never before in my life had I longed to hear another's thoughts. I ached to hear what was running through his head at the moment.

I watched the bronze hairs on his head as I fruitlessly tried to gain access to his thoughts. as though sensing my stare he sat up and looked at me. I meant to turn my head, to continue ignoring him. but as my eyes connected with his I found it impossible to look away. as I looked, I felt an electrical current race through my body.

the voice of the teacher broke me away from Edward's green eyes. I searched through his head for the answer.

"the Krebs cycle" I answered looking away from Edward reluctantly. I looked back to him and he was looking determinedly ahead. I sighed. I could feel my resolve crumbling more and more as the lesson went by.

"YES!" I could hear Alice's scream from the other building. she had seen my decision change. seen the shaky future I'd created disappear.

I smirked at the thought of how she would talk her way out of her little out-burst. well, it was a bright side.

the bell went and I left for my car. I immediately became anxious as I heard Lauren's plans. she was planning to ask Edward to the dance.

I let myself into Lauren's head, watching through her thoughts. she walked up to Edward's old truck. as she asked him I saw the panic flash quickly across his face before he composed himself. I felt a thrill of emotion at his obvious discomfort. he answered her with the same answer he had given jessica and turned away. I pulled out of her head and got into my car. I looked over at him and and started shaking with laughter at his expression. his face was a picture of utter disbelief. I felt inexplicably happy at his obvious annoyance at these girls offers.

the others climbed into the car with surprise at my obvious change of mood. after all the weeks of them getting into the car with me glaring murderously at everything and everyone, to find me sitting there shaking uncontrollably with laughter was a rather large change.

Alice was bouncing up and down so fast she started to blur even to my eyes. she was showing me with excitement the visions of Edward with our family.

_they're back. I knew it. I knew you couldn't keep away from him!!!_

her excitement was seriously affecting Jasper and he looked at her curiously. she shook her head at him and continued bouncing.

as we pulled up she grabbed my hand and pulled me out the car. damn for such a small person she was strong when she wanted to be. I was dragged out a mile out into the forest before she turned to me.

I sat down with my head in my hands.

"I can't do it anymore Alice. I don't know what it is. but I can't" I confessed. I looked up and saw her grinning at me.

_Bella you'll be happy, can't you see that? _she looked at me.

"because Alice he won't be. not if he has to live this life with me." why did none of them see that.

_Bella, he will be. _she showed me the visions she saw of me and Edward. his crooked smile was genuinely happy.

_come on let's go home. I'll get them to leave you alone. you need to think. _she smiled at me and we ran back. I ran straight for my room and lay on my sofa, closing my eyes.

I lay there tuning out everything, even my own thoughts. I was still for hours. it was late into the night when I finally stirred.

I realized that this was not where I wanted to be. I jumped out of my window onto the grass and started to run. I headed right through the town until I came to the street where I knew chief swan lived.

I made a jump and grabbed onto the top of a window and looked in. it was his room. it was quite clean for a teenage boys room. no posters on the wall. no clothes scattered around the floor.

he was lying on his bed with the covers wrapped around him tightly. his usually ruffled hair was made all the more so by the fact that he was tossing and turning. was he able to sense the danger that was right outside his window.

I loosened my grip and prepared to let myself drop, when I heard a mumbling noise.

"no... mum...I'm fine" I heard Edward's voice easily through the window. he talked in his sleep! I meant to leave, but the idea of hearing his thoughts unguarded while he slept was much too tempting.

I eased up the bedroom window and slipped in holding my breath. I could hold my breath indefinitely so I had no trouble doing do.

I crept in and sat on his desk at the other side of the room. he only mumbled incoherent things for another five minutes and was silent for a long time.

after sitting there for a long time I realized that, if I ever hoped to spend more than biology with him, I would have to get used to his scent. I opened my mouth and breathed in. immediately my muscles tensed to spring and the venom filled my mouth. his scent was every where, layered on every surface. I forgot everything and stalked towards him, the scent taking over everything. as I approached the bed he muttered something that made me stop in my tracks.

"Bella" he mumbled. my body went cold. had he woken?

"Bella" he spoke again and rolled over, proving he was asleep.

he was dreaming of _me! me! _it couldn't be a nightmare as he wasn't yelling at the top of his voice. I was back at his desk in a blink of an eye. I felt disgusted with myself. I went for the window to leave. when he spoke again.

"no...stay." he murmured. he had to of woken for that. I turned to check. no. he was still asleep. I decided to, dream or not, stay with his wishes.

I knew with this I would follow the path that led to Alice's visions. it would be impossible to ignore him now. but maybe there could be a way to keep her last vision from becoming true. maybe there could be a way to be with him while keeping him human. there was another option. I was almost euphoric at that path. it would be difficult to follow, but I would do it.

so I sat there in his room until the sun was up. watching and breathing.


	9. What Is This Then?

**okay so i realized today that i had missed out a chapter soooo i have replaced the old chapter 9 with this one and the old one now 10 and chapter 10 is now eleven okay - sorrii**

I lay on my sofa reading to pass away the time. I had decided not to go back to Edward's house, though I was constantly coming up with arguments to and see him.

my door crashed open and Alice stood there smiling at me.

"Christ Alice! ever heard of knocking?" I yelled in annoyance. she was constantly doing this.

"oh come on Bella it's not like you were doing anything." she said exasperatedly and she walked in, sitting on the edge of my sofa.

I carried on reading trying to irritate her. it worked.

"Bella! put the book down!" she whined. I grinned and placed it to one side.

"well Miss Cullen, you have my undivided attention. what do you want?" I asked her, sitting up.

"it's going to be sunny today." she told me. I groaned. being what we are makes it impossible to go out in sunlight. no. we don't burn like the old legends say. we feel no different. we just look different. our skin sparkles like diamonds. if any human saw us they would know we were not human, making it impossible for us to attend school.

_Edward will be disappointed. _she smiled slightly as I ducked my head at her comment, embarrassed.

"Alice if you have just come here to say 'I told you so' go ahead." I told her lightly.

_no I just came to tell you about the sun. _she said getting up.

"I told you so!" she yelled before running out the door.

damn pixie. I got up and ran after her, laughing.

that day was indeed sunny, as Alice had seen. I dressed, went outside & slipped into the forest, the canopy of leaves shielding me from the sunlight so my skin paled again. I ran through the forest and stood at the edge of the forest practically surrounding Forks high school. if I had to go the day with-out talking to Edward I would still see him, just through others thoughts.

I decided on Angela Weber's head. she was a genuinely nice girl and actually liked Edward with-out being in love with him. I found myself liking Angela immensely.

she and Edward were good friends. they had quite a few lessons together so I could tune into her head. she was also one of the people going to the beach trip tomorrow, Saturday. I was glad Edward had a completely nice friend.

unfortunately one of his other 'friends' was Jessica Stanley. and she also was going to the beach trip. she spent the entire Spanish lesson she and Edward had together fantasizing about what could happen at the trip. I crushed several tree branches in an attempt to control myself.

Mike Newton was alright to listen through. he did not spend his time fantasizing about Edward. that would have been creepy. he did however talk a lot, not letting Edward talk at all.

all in all it annoyed me that I could not simply go and talk to him myself. I had hoped it would be cloudy again over the weekend but Alice had informed me that it would not be until Tuesday that we could go to school.

at the end of the day I ran home. I leaped in through my bed-room window so as to avoid my siblings questions as to where I had been all day.

I quickly changed. Me, Jasper & Emmett were planning a week-end long hunting trip. we planned to drive out a days drive and hunt there and then spend the night joking and laughing. we would drive back the following day.

I changed into my 'hunting gear'. my hair tied back, black converse, blue skinny jeans, grey top and hoodie. I pulled on my cap, grabbed my cell and waited for them in the garage.

Jasper was already in there, waiting. Jasper had forgiven me for what would happen with Edward. If it was what Alice wanted he was alright with it. Emmett had too. the only one who was still mad at me was Rosalie.

"hey Jazz. where's Em" I asked brightly.

_he was saying ...um...goodbye to rose. _he winced at the thoughts as Emmett walked in smiling happily. I rolled my eyes and leaped into his jeep. Jasper sat in the back again and we drove off.

"hey Em!" me and jazz yelled after we had hunted. we were sitting watching Emmett 'fight' with the bear he was about to attack. he always mucked about when hunting.

"oh hey guys." he yelled spotting us. he grew bored of his game and pounced at the bear. a few minutes later he walked over.

we all lay back onto the grass. as we lay there silently, looking at the stars, I felt my thoughts journey back to Edward. I became anxious about him. humans are so fragile. anything could happen.

Jasper propped himself up on his elbow looking at me curiously. he would have felt my mood change.

"why are you anxious Bella?" he asked. this immediately had Emmett's attention. they both looked at me as I ignored them both.

"Bella...?" Emmett asked curious now. I looked straight ahead.

I caught onto his thoughts and before I had anytime to defend myself he had picked me up and was running, with Jasper following behind. we ran to the edge of a cliff over-looking the sea he grabbed my shoulders and dangled me over the edge.

"Now. spill" they threatened I wasn't scared of the rocks, they would have no effect on me. I wasn't scared of the cold either, we couldn't feel cold. how ever I was terrified of the wrath of Alice if she saw I had ruined clothes. I gulped. for such a small vampire she could be terrifying.

I sighed and decided to give Jasper a hint. I thought about Edward. Jasper caught onto my emotions and told Emmett to set me down.

"him?" he asked, looking for confirmation. I nodded. Emmett's eyes widen as he cottoned on.

"Why?" Emmett asked. I rolled my eyes.

"don't you know how fragile humans are? how easily they can be killed?" I asked him "wouldn't you be worried if Rose was human?" I said looking at him "or Alice?" I asked looking at Jasper.

they looked appropriately abashed.

_you do know what you're doing though Bella. don't you? _I nodded to Jasper. he could feel the genuine worry I felt.

_are you happy about this, kid? _I snorted at Emmett's comment.

"Kid! I'm older than you!" I reminded him. he raised his eyebrows.

"not yet. but I'm happier." I told him smiling slightly.

_good – you've been alone too long. _he said. his grin changed and I knew the time for talking was over.

"Race you back!" he yelled and set off running. me and Jasper rolled our eyes and raced after him.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

we arrived back on Sunday night and when Alice and Rosalie took Jazz and Em off, I ran back into town. I again slipped into Edward's room.

I took a deep breath in and his scent assaulted me again. but I stayed put. I was getting better at resisting. I sat on his desk and watched him sleep. after I had been there 10 minutes, the talking started. I heard him mumble my name again. this time I could easily define the emotion that had me trembling. love. I, Isabella Cullen, had fallen in love with this young human boy. it was the first time I had managed to admit it to myself. as soon as I had I felt something change.

being what we are, we rarely change. our interests and hates stay the same for the eternity we live. when a change does manage to happen it is irreversible. I had watched it happen when Carlisle met Esme and later when Rosalie saved Emmett. and I knew that I would not change. I would love this fragile human boy for the rest of my existence.

**again soo sorry about the mess up**

**i no its short but it's just part filler and teh story didn't flow without it  
**


	10. Are We Friends Yet?

I crept out of Edward's room when his heart began to speed up as he began to wake.

I ran all the way back to my house. my brothers and sisters had already left for school and I was grateful not to talk to them. I ran up to my room and changed my clothes. I bumped into Esme on the way out the house. she looked at me curiously at my erratic movements and shook her head. she then sniffed and caught Edward's scent. the look of happiness on her face was catching. I grinned at her and ran to school.

I arrived shortly after my siblings and went to stand with them. Rosalie ignored me and looked in the other direction. Jasper & Emmett looked at me curiously their thoughts bombarding me with questions.

Alice simply grinned at me. she showed me the vision she had seen last night of me in Edward's room. I nodded confirming it and she grinned wider.

I heard Edward's truck's engine from a few miles away. I made a quick decision. as Edward's truck pulled in I muttered to Alice to wait for me and walked over to him.

as he was getting out, he didn't see me until he turned around. his heartbeat stopped and then started and his eyes grew wider.

"hey Edward." I said quietly, smiling at him being careful not to show my teeth.

"um, hey Bella." he said looking confused. I could understand why. after months of my silence, just coming up and talking to him might be a bit confusing. I felt bad about this.

"listen Edward, I'm sorry about the way I've been acting. it was rude and pointless" well now it was. " it's just better, safer, if we're not friends." I told him sadly. the bell rang. "I'll see you in biology." I said and turned away.

Alice was waiting for me at the doors. she looked at me.

_why did you say that? I thought you were going to talk to him now-_

her thoughts cut off as her eyes glazed over and she saw my decision.

_you're sitting with him at lunch?! _

I smirked at her obvious excitement and walked into the class-room.

about half-way through the class her eyes unfocused and I groaned as I saw what she had seen. Mr banner was teaching blood-typing today. on the days that the blood would be spilt, it was a good idea for the vampires to ditch. I would have to give up my hour with Edward.

I waited impatiently through the classes for lunch. in my class with Jasper he started to bounce up and down from my impatience. he looked so funny I giggled. he looked at me annoyed and I shut up.

the bell went for lunch and I ran to the cafeteria. I sat at an empty table and waited. my brothers and sisters walked in looking unsurprised at my sitting at a different table. Alice must have told them.

_she's crazy poor kid. _yeah. Emmett's thoughts were really encouraging.

Rosalie's weren't any better _-could ruin everything. I'll kill her if she does. _

I tuned them all out. I did not want to be swayed on this.

I waited until the cafeteria was almost full up. then I saw Edward standing, buying just a drink. I looked at him until he began to sense my eyes on him and he turned his head.

once I caught his eye, I beckoned to him. his face looked shocked. I decided to have some fun and winked at him. his jaw dropped before he gathered himself. I giggled. I caught onto mike newtons thoughts.

_yeah I knew she couldn't resist me. she so obviously wants me to go to her. _

I snorted at his mislead thoughts and cleared them up.

"Edward." I called. my voice carrying easily across the room. mike's shocked and upset thoughts made me giggle again.

Edward walked over to me uncertainly, and sat down.

"hey" I said smiling.

"hey," he replied looking even more confused than this morning. "what's with this then. I thought you said you didn't want to be my friend."

"I said it would be safer for you not to be my friend. not that I didn't want to be." I clarified.

"right. safer?" he asked. I stifled a groan. he was too observant.

"yes." I left it at that. he rolled his eyes.

"you're not going to tell me what that means are you?" he asked sounding slightly annoyed. I giggled again at his tone.

"no." I told him, still smiling slightly.

"sooo, in real terms... are we friends then?" he asked hesitantly. I scowled a bit at the word friend. it wasn't enough.

he misinterpreted my frown.

"okay not friends." he murmured.

"we can be friends, but if you were smart you'd stay away from me." I told him. he needed to get this message. if he did and still wanted to be with me I would stop trying.

"okay, but if I'm being un-smart, we'll be friends right?" he smiled at me.

"right." I smiled back at him. I would try again later.

the bell rang pulling us out of our conversation. he drained his drink and stood up.

"biology. you coming?" he asked smiling. oh how I hated to disappoint such a face.

"no. I'm skipping. it's good for the soul." I joked.

"okay. I'm going though. bye." and with that he turned and headed off to class. I sighed. this was one of the times I really hated what I was.

I stood and went off to sit in my car. I placed a random c.d in the stereo and cranked it up loudly.

after 5 minutes I heard a worried thought reach me.

_oh no – is he alright? what's going to happen. I can't carry him! _

I looked and saw Jessica Stanley standing over Edward, who had lain down on the pavement. I was out of the car immediately.

"Edward!" I yelled. I saw Jessica look up and groan at my appearance.

_stupid Cullen. what's she going to be able to do to help? she just gets in the way. _

"is he alright?" I asked her, ignoring her hostile expression.

"yeah he passed out in biology." she told me reluctantly. blood typing. I stopped. did he stick his finger? I couldn't handle it if he did "it's weird though he didn't even use the needle. I breathed a sigh of relief and continued towards them.

"Edward? are you alright?" I asked him, bending over him. his eyes were closed and his face was a greenish color.

"yes, I'm fine." he told me quietly.

"go back to class Jessica, I'll take him." I told her and I pulled Edward into a standing position. she turned around in a huff. as soon as she turned the corner. I placed his arm over my shoulder, wrapped my arm around his waist and lifted him a tiny amount of the ground. his eyes were still closed. I took off running at my speed. we arrived at the office in 5 seconds and he opened his eyes. he looked around disoriented at where he was.

I set him down in one of the seats and went to fetch the nurse. I saw him looking at me with a curious expression on his face.

once the nurse saw Edward she made him walk into her office. I followed quietly.

"He just passed out. they're blood typing in biology." I offered as an explanation. the nurse rolled her eyes and went to fetch an ice-pack.

he sat up looking at me.

"so you faint at the sight of blood." I said chuckling. " and not even your own."

"it's not the sight it's the smell. it makes me sick." he explained.

_smell?_

"humans can't smell blood." I blurted out realizing too late my mistake of the word humans. luckily he didn't seem to notice.

"yeah well I can. it's disgusting." he said defensively. at that moment the nurse came in with the ice-pack and I withdrew to the wall. his face seemed be losing the sickly green color

at that moment the door opened and I caught the scent of the flowing blood. and so did Edward by the look on his face. time to leave.

"Go." I instructed and turned for the door.

Jessica followed out after. she had been the one to escort the other student in.

"are you alright now Edward?" she asked, in what she intended to be a flirty voice. it failed.

"yeah I'm fine." he told her.

"You going to the beach this week-end?" she asked using the same voice. a flash of jealousy went through me. they were going out some-where?

"Sure. I told Mike and Angela I was in." he said.

"Oh okay. well see you in gym." she said, leaving, disappointment heavy in her thoughts.

"Gym. I can't do gym like this." he mumbled to himself. he was right. he couldn't. I got up and whispered in his ear.

"Just sit there and look ill." I walked over to the school secretary.

"Mrs cope. Edward has gym next. I don't think he would be able to participate. could you please excuse him from the lesson?" I asked in my most human-pleasing voice.

"Of course Isabella. do you need to be excused too?" she asked. I accepted and waited for the slips. she handed them to me and I walked back to Edward. he stood up and I gave him his slip. we walked out the office into the drizzle.

"Are you going this weekend?" He asked me as the rain began to soak through my jumper. "To the beach, I mean?"

"No. And I doubt Jessica would ever invite me," I laughed.

"What about if I invite you?"

I stared at him for a few seconds, processing his words. "Where are you going?"

"La Push. You know it?"

Ah...

The Treaty that the Quileute Dogs had coerced us into lingered at the back of my mind.

_Should a Vampire of the Cullen Coven ever set foot across the designated Treaty Line and into Quileute lands, all rights that they may have shall be negated and they shall be destroyed._

"Actually, this weekend my father is taking me and Jasper to one of his conferences," I lied smoothly. "We both have an ambition to be a doctor and he's opening some doors for us,"

"Oh." He frowned slightly. "Okay,"

"Besides, it's best that you and I don't upset Jessica anymore than necessary." I smirked.

"I'm sure she wouldn't be that upset,"

"I'm sure she would. She _loathes _me," I laughed and he joined me.

He started walking over to his car and I grabbed his arm as instinct.

"where are you going?" I asked him.

"my car." he said it like it was obvious.

"you aren't in any state to drive alright. friends make sure friends don't die in terrible car crashes. I'll drive you. Alice will take home your car." I told him, slightly worried about staying in a confined area with just his scent and nothing to dilute it.

"is there any point in arguing?" he asked defeated. I grinned and shook my head.

"absolutely none." I said cheerily and we walked over to my car. I opened the car and got in. he slid in beside me. the rain was running of his hair making his top wet. I laughed a bit but stopped as I caught his scent. he smelled better in the rain. how was that possible?

I quickly reversed out and drove away. he was silent for the journey. I pulled into his drive and turned off the engine. he looked a bit shocked at how quickly we had gotten there.

he got out the car and I joined him, an idea coming to me. I walked with him to the porch and looked up at him.

"hey Edward. I heard you say you were Seattle on the week-end of the dance. I was wondering, do you want a lift?" I asked suddenly anxious for his reply.

"what...who with?" he asked. what?

"um...me" I said

"why?" he asked.

"because I was planning to go any-way and-" I teased him "- your truck won't make it there very easily." I smirked.

"my truck works well enough." he said. he wasn't impressed with my teasing about his truck.

"sooo...will you go with me?" I asked looking up into his green eyes.

he blinked seeming dazed, and nodded.

"thank-you." I said. turning around. "see you tomorrow" I called before driving off. I looked at the car key I had just picked from his pocket and laughed.

I drove all the way back to school to pick up my brothers and sisters. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I jumped as Alice hopped in the front laughing at making me jump. she held her hand out for Edward's key. of course she would have seen it.

she was laughing, heading for Edward's truck. I was feeling in a strangely happy mood after today and set off for home with a genuine smile on my face.


	11. Attackings In Port Angeles

important please read

**okay so i was a rite idiot and realized i had missed out chapter nine and had went straight into chapter 10 which was named chapter ninebut meant to be 10 - if you follow. anyway i have now gone and added it back in so all the chapters after have now moved up a number. please go back nd read teh new chapter nine - it makes teh story flow better.**

**just to clear it up ... this is after the weekend. the last chapter was set on a friday.  
**

**sorry bout th long authors note  
**

I ran back to my house in the early hours of Monday morning, not wanting to get caught in the sun that was once again shining. as I raced into the front room I was greeted by my families confused faces. except Alice and Esme. they knew exactly where I had been. I ran to my room to change and avoid their wide smiles.

I watched from the forest, the same as last week. I felt wrong for doing it but I was selfish enough not to care.

I learnt that Mike, Tyler and Edward were planning to go into Port Angeles that night so I decided to stay at home that night. there was no point in going to an empty house.

after the bell rang I ran home again I dashed straight past the startled faces of my family.

after sitting in my room for a few minutes I found myself too restless to just sit there. I went down-stairs to my piano. an interesting tune had been playing itself around my head all day and I wanted to try it out.

after a few attempts I had caught the attention of almost every-one in the house. I could almost hear the ears begin pricked up to listen.

_a beautiful song. she hasn't touched that piano since we moved. _

I cringed at Esme's thought. we moved here two and a half years ago. I hadn't realized I had neglected my music so long. I played a song I had composed for Esme. and I heard her almost choke with happiness.

once I finished I returned to my newest song. it was still incomplete but it had a good beginning. I stood up after realizing I couldn't finish it yet. I knew when I had hit a mental block. I went up to Alice's room. after checking she was alone, I knocked on her door.

_come in Bella! _she 'called' and I entered the room. I found her sprawled across her and Jasper's bed surrounded by papers.

"what you doing Alice?"i asked her. she looked frustrated.

"designs for my new range, I can't get them right." ahh right. Alice was one of the best dressers and one of the most fashion-conscious people I had ever met. once we had figured this out we had persuaded her to start designing. now she had a whole brand.

I went and looked over her shoulder. to me they looked alright but I was no Alice when it came to clothes.

"what's wrong with them?" I asked. she sighed, and launched into a detailed description of why each and every design had flaws. after that I was a bit stuck for words, so I just grabbed some paper and started doodling while she just looked even more annoyed. we sat there just talking aimlessly as the sun went further behind the clouds.

after a while her eyes glazed over and I didn't realize she was having a vision until it was over. she gasped a look of absolute terror on her face. she silently showed me what she had seen.

_it was today, soon. Edward was lying on his back, his eyes wide and seeing nothing. blood ran down his face and he was surrounded by large men. a darkened street name was shown and the men pounced again._

the vision ended there. I jumped up and saw red. I ran for my car and pulled out the drive-way, ignoring Rosalie and Emmett's confused thoughts and questions. I slammed my foot down and raced down the long road. the drive to Port Angeles normally took an hour but in my anger and the speed I was driving I halved the time. I prayed to what-ever there was that it had not happened half an hour was the longest I had ever experienced. I kept my headlights off as my eyes had no trouble with the night.

I sped into Port Angeles ignoring traffic lights and road signs. I searched desperately for the street name I had seen in Alice's thoughts.

I looked in desperation through people's thoughts to see if any had seen Edward.

_need to get home early or she'll kill me_

_two drinks and a pack of crisps and then I'll leave_

_ah! there he is._

I breathed a sigh of relief as I saw Edward's face but I quickly turned into a snarl as I recognized the person as one of his attackers. I followed the voice, it becoming clearer as I got closer.

I turned the corner and saw Edward backed against the wall with four men advancing on him. I sped towards them and almost ran them over I got out the car.

"get in!" I yelled at Edward. he jumped in the passenger seat and I walked towards the men who were now looking at me like I was a new game. which I probably was to them.

"hey darlin' want to stay with me tonight?" one of them had the nerve to ask. I almost snapped all their necks right there. suddenly the sound of a seat-belt snapping pulled me back. Edward. I had to get him out of here. I turned and ran back to my car. I slid in, put the car in reverse and sped out.

I drove for several minutes, the car in complete silence. I looked at him. he didn't look scared. was there anything about this boy that was normal?

I was still seething. I'm sure he could see that but for the moment I didn't care about seeming human. I cared about calming down.

"Edward." I said, trying to keep my voice under control. "where are you meeting Tyler and Mike?" I asked. he told me the restaurant they were meant to be meeting at and I changed my direction.

I pulled up and got out the car to see Mike and Tyler's retreating backs. their thoughts were worried about Edward. Edward yelled them and they ran back relieved. they stopped abruptly when they saw I was with him.

_damn how did Edward get Isabella? maybe that's why he took so long. he was meeting her. but him? I don't get it. _

I scowled at mike's thoughts. Tyler weren't much better. but I tried to be polite.

"hello Tyler, Mike." I said smiling at them. there eyes almost bugged out their head at my voice. not many people had heard me talk.

"um... hey Bella." Tyler managed to stutter out. I tried to keep my laughter in.

"um... Edward. we've already eaten. sorry. it's just you took ages." Tyler continued apologetically.

"oh. okay. I'm not that hungry." Edward said. I sighed.

"I think you should eat something." I told him ad without giving him a chance to decline I turned to the others. "hey do you mind if Edward comes back with me?" I asked looking at them each in turn. they were helpless.

"um... sure." mike said a little dazed and they walked away. we turned to the restaurant. he opened the door for me. if any-one else had done it they would have been yelled at, but with him it felt nice to be cared for.

a server came up to us. it was easy to tell he thought a lot of his looks.

"hi my name is Paul. I'll be serving you tonight." he said cheerily.

_god she's good looking. what's she doing with him? they can't be on a date. she's far too good for him._

I resisted the urge to growl at him. human were so blind to seeing beauty. of course they saw mine but mine was a fake beauty. mine was a trade-mark of what I am.

_hmm, won't help him along though. _

he led us to the most crowded part of the restaurant. god that wouldn't help. I could tell that Edward had a lot of questions. of course he would. you can't just turn up save his life and not expect a few questions.

I turned to the server and gave him my bet smile.

"perhaps some-where more private?" I asked giving him a $50 bill. his eyes widened at the money. he nodded and led us through a partition.

I sat down and ordered two cokes, both for Edward, the stuff was disgusting.

the server came back quickly with the drinks. I pushed them both to Edward who drank them willingly. I couldn't stop staring at him. I pulled myself out of the trance before he looked back.

"so...how come you're here?" he asked. how to answer.

"pass." I had no answer. his green eyes looked annoyed.

"fine. how did you find me in time?" again another difficult question.

"um..." I could let him know this much couldn't I? "I heard them. what they...thought." I watched the shock flit across his place before he pulled himself together.

"you can-?" he started

"yeah. every-one's." I laughed as his hand shot up to his fore-head as if to protect his thoughts."except yours. why that is, I don't know." I muttered mostly to myself. I don't know why I had just told him one of the many secrets that made up my existence. I just had an extremely odd urge. I wanted this by to know me the real me. not all of the real me of course, he would run if he knew that, but enough to make my sense of betrayal to him lighten.

"you don't mind?" I asked. "that I'm a freak?" I looked into his eyes daring him to lie.

"no." he said. " his face was so sincere and understanding I had to look away.

"what would you like to order today?" the waiter was back. I gestured to Edward and he reluctantly turned away from me to Edward. I heard him order and the waiter walk away.

my phone vibrated in my pocket. I looked to the caller id and saw Alice's number flash. I excused myself and answered the phone.

"Bella! I am so so so sorry. I can't believe I didn't see it happen. where are you? why do I see you at a restaurant?" her words began to flow over each other until I stopped her.

"Alice it's okay. he's safe now. don't beat yourself up about it." she let out a sigh of relief when she realized that I wasn't angry with her.

"but where are you?" she asked. I heard the thoughts of the waiter as he approached the table and I wasn't there.

"Alice I've got to go. the waiters there."

"you're with _him_! aren't you?" she yelled I smirked as I shut the phone and returned to the table.

Edward was just starting his meal. it looked unappetizing but maybe that was just me. I sat down.

"sorry, but Alice gets cross if you don't answer her calls." I explained.

"s'okay " he said and continued eating.

"you aren't eating?" he asked looking at my empty place. I shook my head.

"course not." he muttered under his breath but of course I heard it.

what did that mean? this boy was impossible to unravel. after a few minutes of silence he spoke up.

"what was that? back there?" he asked.

"what do you mean?" I asked, perplexed.

"back with those guys..." his expression became angry. it looked wrong on his face. "you were crouched, as if you were going to attack them." hell. was there nothing this boy picked up?

"um..." my phone vibrated again.

Alice.

_tell him._

_it'll be better now than later._

_I won't tell rose._

_x A x_

I sighed. I supposed if I was to have any attempt at anything with him he would have to find out sooner or later. I had just been hoping that it would be later.

"are you ready to go?" I asked, standing. he nodded and stood, leaving his half-full plate on the table. I left the money with the waiter and walked to the car.

I got in and turned to him. I wasn't sure whether I could do this. and if I could what would his reaction be? I opened my mouth.

**okay do you like it or not? **

**remember a writer is inspired by her reviews *cough cough* **

**please review.**

**hattii x**


	12. Ways Of Finding Out

**(A/N) okay well if you haven't already read it I have added in a new chapter nine and all the others have moved up – it's called – what is it then? - and it helps the story better so please please lease read it if you haven't already.**

**okay rant over**

_last time - _

_I got in and turned to him. I wasn't sure whether I could do this. and if I could what would his reaction be? I opened my mouth._

"Edward..." I started. at the same time he said. "Bella." I motioned for him to start. I needed more time before I outed myself.

"Bella. I need to tell you something." he looked down at his hands and then looked up.

"hell Bella are you trying to kill us?!" he almost yelled.

"what?" I asked confused.

"you're driving over 150 miles an hour!" he said, still yelling. I rolled my eyes.

"I always drive like this." I said, smiling at him. I was lying. I normally drove at almost double the speed. but he looked scared so I inched my foot off the pedal and the needle dropped below 100. I hated to drive slow and this was a snails pace.

"what were you going to say?" I asked, putting off the moment that he would surely run from me.

he looked back to his hands.

"this weekend, I told you I was at La Push," I stiffened at the sound of the reservation. "I ran into a family friend. her name's Leah. Leah Clearwater...she told me stories, old Quileute legends." I held my breath. no. he couldn't...could he? "there was one about your family." he stopped. I looked at him. he raised his head to look at me. I'm not sure what expression was on my face but it seemed to conclude it for him.

"say it." I said, not breaking his gaze. his eyes widened.

"it's true?" he asked.

"say it." I repeated. his eyes never left mine as he uttered the word.

"vampires." I looked away.

"it's true." he said, not a question this time.

I closed my eyes and pulled over.

I kept staring out the windscreen as if the night held the answer to my problems.

"I'd leave if you wanted me to, but I'm not sure I can anymore. I think I could though if you wanted me to." I said.

"I don't want you to leave." he said quietly, though of course I heard him.

"what?" I asked. I met his green eyes in confusion. this boy knew what I was, and he still sat there. "Edward. you know what I am and you want me to stay?" he nodded.

did this boy have no self-preservation at all. he sat next to a monster and was discussing it as though it was regular conversation.

my phone buzzed again and I flipped it open.

_I told you so_

_x a x _

damn pixie.

I placed the car back into drive and continues along the stretch of road.

"I do have a few questions though." he said. I groaned. more?

"what do you want to know?" I asked.

"don't be offended but, how do you come out in daylight?" he asked. I laughed.

"untrue. we can come out in the day but not in sunlight. but it's not the cliché reason." I said.

"what-" he started to asked before I cut him off. that would be difficult to explain.

"anything else?"

"sleeping in a coffin?"

"no. I can't sleep." I watched him to see if he comment but he moved on.

"no reflection?"

"false"

"crosses."

"myth"

"killed by holy water"

"no"

"burned by garlic?"

"no"

"stake in the heart?"

"no." I laughed again. the books never got anything right

"is anything true?" Edward asked. I thought about it.

"the diet." I said seriously.

"but you don't eat humans." he said it, again, not a question.

"no." I agreed. "we hunt animals. that keeps us strong enough...to resist." I said, looking back at him intently. his eyes showed no disgust, only an inconceivable emotion mixed with sympathy. as I looked I felt my self want to tell him. to keep no secrets from him. I looked away back to the night, that would be pitch black to him.

"resisting. it's one of the few things I used to pride myself on. I was good at it. I had mastered centuries of control. but...when you walked into that biology room...I almost exposed us then and there." I skipped over the part where I fantasized about his death. "I knew I couldn't last the hour so I held my breath and ran. I ran for miles before daring to breath again." I ducked my head as I grew quiet, my brown locks covering my face.

I gasped as a warm hand drew the hair back behind my ear. I looked up to see Edward. I smiled at him and received a large one in return.

we were silent for a long while after that. I pulled into his yard before he spoke again

"is it sunny tomorrow?" he asked almost as though musing aloud.

"no." I answered looking at him.

"then you have no excuse." he said grinning, so impishly that I had to grin in response. "I'll see you at school." he said as he went for the door. I leaned over, unthinkingly, becoming very close.

"Edward." I said he turned around and I could hear his heart jump a beat. I smiled. "thank you." I lent away. he got out the car, even more unstable on his feet than usual.

I pulled out of the drive watching the dash of bronze in my rear view mirror disappear.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

the next day I was, I thought, appropriately anxious. of course Alice had told me I was being stupid.

"physic remember." she chimed before walking out of my room. I thought I had good reason to be worried. I mean I had just told a boy, I had hardly met, that I was a vampire and he could have changed his mind about not caring. maybe he had decided that I was a monster and wanted to be left alone. those thoughts alone made me hurt.

as I sat in my room, impatient for and dreading the time for school, a flash of an idea came to me. it may have been Alice's idea and I heard it but I wasn't really bothered. I grabbed my car-keys and raced out the door. Alice would have seen my decision and told the others.

I pulled my car to a stop outside the swan house. police-chief swans car was already missing from the drive-way so Edward was the only one in the house. I could hear him rushing about inside.

I was waiting for about 3 minutes before the front door closed with a bang. I winced as the sound hit my ears and watched Edward walk uneasily across the wet surface. he wasn't wearing a jacket. why? it would be freezing for him today. he seemed unaware of my car.

he made it halfway to the truck before spotting me. I heard his heartbeat falter as he spotted me and pick up again. I got out the car.

"hey." he said as I stood.

"hi." I smiled at him. "do you want a lift?" I asked. he nodded and walked over to my car. I got in and unlocked the doors for him. he was quiet as he got in and we drove to school. we were nearly there before I couldn't take the silence any-more.

"no question today?" I asked jokingly.

"no. my questions don't bother you do they?" he asked slyly. I chuckled.

"not your questions. it's more your take on them." I said.

"explain that please." he said, serious again.

"last night, you sat there talking to me as though it was the most normal thing in the world. as though we were discussing a horror movie rather than my life...or yours." I explained to him. his eyebrows raised slightly.

"horror movie?" he asked, sceptically.

"of course. that's the bit you pick up on." I said rolling my eyes. he chuckled. I listened to his laugh, committing it to memory.

due to my driving we arrived at school a few minutes early. I stepped out the car and he followed. I waited for him around the front. we started walking absentmindedly in silence.

"Edward!" a voice called, and mike newton walked up to us holding a jacket.

"oh thanks Mike." Edward said, shrugging on the jacket. "I left it in his car last night." he said to me.

"right. hi Isabella." mike said, in what I assumed to be a flirtatious voice. I bit back my giggles and nodded at him. he seemed to get the hint, for however short a time, and walked away. I listened to his thoughts and heard him telling jessica about 'Edward and me'.

"he's telling jessica." I said looking up at Edward. he groaned.

"great. biggest gossip in school that girl. she can get anything out of anyone" he said and I giggled.

"she'll ambush you in third period." I explained, listening to jessica now.

"what does she want to know?" he asked, almost desperately.

"ah ah ah. that's a bit unfair." I said smiling. he groaned again.

"no. you knowing and not telling me. thats not fair." he complained.

I listened again to jessica before tuning her out.

"she's asking whether we're dating, what happened last night and how much you like me. she hoping you'll forget me and go with her." I said rolling my eyes. I may not be able to read Edwards mind, but it was plaint to anyone with eyes that jessica was just annoying.

"what do I say?" he asked, still in that desperate tone. I laughed at his panicked expression.

"if you don't mind...say yes to the first one...it's the easiest explanation. the second, we went for a meal and talking and the last..." I stopped. in a sudden bout of confidence, I raised myself onto the balls of my feet and leaned in to his ear.

"I'll listen to that one myself." I whispered, pulling back to see the shocked expression on his face. I turned and left.

"see you at lunch." I called looking back. he was still standing in the same position. I giggled again and was suddenly worried and excited for third period to arrive.


	13. Keep Listening In

I settled into my seat. my class, Spanish, held no interest for me as I was already fluent, as well as French, Italian and German. Alice slid in next to me. she was, unhelpfully, blocking her mind so I had no access to Edward's answers early. I scowled at her.

_would you really want me to spoil the surprise? _she asked, looking at me with her signature innocent look that fooled no-one. I growled at her but she just laughed at me. we always spent Spanish this way. both of us were fluent and the teacher knew it, so she left us alone.

_you're sitting with him at lunch again?! if I didn't know better I would say you were avoiding us. _she started bouncing around in her seat, a habit she had fallen into when bored or excited. I think it was a bit of both in this case.

I tried to block out the thoughts that were mumbling in the background of my head. but of course this was only possible if I listened to one particular voice. the people at this school had no originality so I decided on Alice. I knew she wouldn't mind. living with a mind-reader, an empath, a physic and the entire family with magnified hearing left very little privacy within our family.

she was thinking random thoughts, keeping the future securely blocked. it wasn't until her thoughts went down an unwanted path that I fully paid attention.

_-how long till Bella lets us all talk to Edward. he'll be good fun, like an big brother really, and once he joins us- _her thoughts cut off as she realized I was listening.

"one vampire is dangerous enough, Alice." I hissed, low enough that no human ears would hear it.

_what?! we can't meet him? why not? _Alice asked, her face slipping into an angry pout.

"you're not meeting him." I said through gritted teeth. I could just see a way through this. a thin line that I could walk that would leave him human. if he met the rest of my family, I would fall.

Alice refused to speak to me for the remainder of the lesson. the bell rang and she got up and left without a word. I sighed. Alice could hold a grudge like no-one I had ever seen.

I got up and slowly moved to second period, my class with Emmett. we sat in our seats at the back. the teacher was giving a lecture today so he turned off the lights. I settled in my seat and tuned into Jessica's thoughts.

she was deciding what to ask Edward next period. I listened with trepidation. to be honest I always thought that gossiping was a girls thing to do. but I had seen and heard Jessica weasel something out of the football captain for Christs sake. Edward had no chance.

I tried to shake myself out of the excitement I was feeling.

_snap out of it Bella - _I told myself – _you're acting like a love-struck teenager._

_that's because you are. _the voice in my head sounded a lot like Alice.

even Emmett found my behavior out of the ordinary, raising an eyebrow at my smile.

the bell rang again and I rushed out the room. I had to remind myself several times that this was a public place, no place for light-speed running.

I made it to English before the teacher had even arrived. I sat in the back. at least none of the rest of my family had this class with me. I let myself back into Jessica's head.

through her eyes I could see everything. Edward was already sitting aloneat his desk, with a distinct look of worry on his face. he knew I would be listening in.

**(A/N – italics are Jessica's thoughts)**

_why does he look so upset? maybe mike was just making it up? no I don't think so she wants to see him at lunch. damn._

"_hey Edward" _

"_hey jess" wow, moody much?_

I chuckled. he wasn't moody, he was reluctant.

"_tell me everything!" damn it jess. use some subtlety please._

"_about what?" what?! what do you mean about what?! about the fact that you got the undate-able Bella Cullen to go out with you! how about that!_

"_you know what about. Cullen" why did his face turn down then?_

_"I don't see how _Bella _is any of your concern." _

my grin faded. there was no way he was getting out of this. but luckily Jessica didn't give up.

_definitely something going on._

"_oh come on Edward" yeah. don't deny me the juiciest piece of gossip of the year._

he sighed, obviously giving in. my grin reappeared.

"_what do you want to know jess" oh yes. I'm through. what to ask?_

"_what happened last night?" get the least important out of the way first._

"_we bumped into each other in port angeles and went for a meal. then she drove me home." what?! that's it?! I was hoping for something better than that._

her mind filled with images. before today she had fantasized about herself with Edward. the memories enough to make me snap the wood from the table. but instead, I was in her place. Edward holding me. him bending his head towards mine. I blocked out jessica. that couldn't happen. I would kill him. another one of the times when I loath what we are hit me again.

I resumes eavesdropping, thankfully the images had gone.

"_oh." what else? "so what? did you two like plan to meet up?" _

"_no. we just ran into each other." god this is irritating. any other boy would be bragging about it at the top of their lungs. can't he be normal._

"_but you drove to school together." you can't lie out of that one._

"_yeah we did." Christ do I have to pluck it out of you._

I was getting tired of her questions. I knew all of that stuff.

"_hold up!" _

Jessica had remembered her questions.

"_have you kissed her?" please say yes. please say yes. I need some gossip. I already told Lauren I'd get it out of you._

"_no. it's not...no." he's blushing. how cute – boys never blush._

why on earth was he blushing? he didn't want that to happen did he? of course not. I hadn't even proved to him that I had no fangs yet. I shook my head and returned to Jessica's

"_why not? I mean-"_

"_leave it jess!" woah he looks mad. Edward never snaps at any-one. I'll leave it._

"_okaaaay. what did you talk about?" why has he gone pale?_

_"lot's of stuff. I don't remember." typically male. doesn't remember a thing a girl talks about._

"_come on Edward. don't make me drag it out of you!" _

"_what do you want to know?!" he sounds annoyed. oops. _

"_are you like dating her or something." say no. I want you. but say yes. I need gossip._

"_I...I think so." at last something! he's still so bloody cryptic. maybe if I make the questions simple._

"_are you taking her to the dance on Saturday?"_

"_no Jess. I'm in Seattle that day."_

"_is she going with you?" wow look at that blush._

"_yeah" _

"_so you like her then?" _

I sat rigid in my seat, holding my breath.

"_yes." _

the answer was so soft, I almost didn't hear it through Jessica's ears.

_oh my god! _

"_how much?" come on nearly there. it's like speaking to a two year old._

"_Jess!" no! you are not getting out of this!_

"_answer it Edward!"_ _otherwise this is going no-where._

"_a lot. a lot more than she likes me... but you can see why." _

_oh damn what did sir just ask? _

Jessica was called away by the teacher. good. I needed to take this in.

he had got be joking. what on earth was he thinking? 'more than she likes me' what?! and what did that mean? 'you can see why'? what was wrong this boy?

jessica didn't get a chance to talk to him again. the lesson ended and she turned back to him. but before she could open her mouth he was out of the room. damn. I could expect no more out of Jessica's head.

I had gym next. we all hated gym. we had to make our natural movements slower and clumsier than usual. I had gym with Emmett and Alice. although I could tell by Alice's thoughts she was still mad at me we paired together for badminton. I served in boredom. me and Alice still snickered Lauren made a very ungraceful miss and hit the floor. neither of us had a soft spot for her.

today though, gym seemed worse. I was more anxious than usual to leave.

luckily, with what we are, we produce no normal bodily fluids so there is never a need to shower.

I hurried out of the changing rooms five minutes early without the usual shower and made my way over to the other buildings. Alice followed me.

_have fun at lunch. say hi to Edward for me. it doesn't matter really. we'll meet him soon enough. _- she had a smug smile on her face. evidently she wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention to my words. were all physic's this annoying?

_it'll be sunny this weekend Bella. you need to change your plans with Edward. _annoying, but useful.

I stood opposite the classroom door as the students filed out. I saw his eyes meet mine. I smiled at him and received a grin in return, though his eyes were worried.

"hey." he said rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

we walked in silence to the same table we had sat at. I grabbed at the usually untouched bottle of lemonade and twisted the cap on and off in my irritation.

"how much did you hear?" Edward asked after a few minutes of quiet.

I just looked at him.

"are you mad at me?" he asked quietly. a shot of pain flashed through his eyes. at the sight of this a pain jumped into my long dead heart. I hated that look in his eyes.

I chose my words carefully.

"do you honestly believe that that is true?" I asked in a small voice. "that you care for me more than I care for you?"

he didn't answer. looking down at his tray

"Edward." he looked up. "do you?" he sighed quietly.

"yes." had I been human, tears would have began falling from my eyes.

"you're wrong you know." I said, loud enough for him to hear me. he shook his head.

"there's no way for you to know that." I could hear the sadness etched in his voice. I then knew how hard I was for him to tell me this, because he believed it true.

"what makes you think that?" I longed to know how he was thinking these absurd thoughts.

"look at me Bella." that was a pointless command. I already was. "I'm nothing besides ordinary. I blend in, I go unnoticed, theres nothing remotely interesting about me. and you..." he motioned towards me as though there was a point so obvious there was no need to describe it.

he thought that he was ordinary? ordinary? the humans that surrounded us, they were ordinary. he...he was a completely different creature. there was not a chance that I would ever have described him as ordinary.

"you didn't hear the thoughts on your first day, even now actually." his eyes showed blatant disbelief.

"trust me. just for this, you are the opposite of ordinary." I said. "us being what we are we possess an unnatural beauty. one that can never match up to the innocence of a humans." I looked at him, captured once again by his wide emerald orbs.

the sound of a scraping chair pulled me from him. I looked around to see Rosalie standing, glaring daggers at me. I gulped, her eyes seemed to be on fire.

_HOW COULD YOU?! HOW DARE YOU?! IF THIS GOES WRONG, IF HE TELLS..._ - her thoughts trailed off, incoherent in her anger.

she looked ready to pounce on me. I thanked my lucky stars that Emmett was holding her in place. I looked behind her to see Alice looking at me with an apologetic face.

_sorry Bella. she was growing suspicious. you two looked too close. and then that last comment..._ her thoughts apologized.

I watched as Rosalie stormed out the room, Emmett following her closely and turned back to Edward.

"they don't like this, do they?" he asked.

"it's not that." I shook my head, trying to reassure him "it's just...Rosalie has the most trouble with what we are." I left it at that, no need to let him know that once she was planning his death.

a sharp ringing fell on my unprepared ears. we straightened up, not realizing through-out our conversation, that we had been leaning in to one another.

sitting down at our lab-table, mr banner set up for a lecture. excellent, we could still continue our conversation. as usual, most of the class had already begun to hold whispered conversations.

"what do you do out of school?" he asked his face curious. I almost laughed, what an uninteresting question. but then again, I had longed to know what he did after school but had taken slightly more drastic measures to get answers.

"hiking." I answered, it was a half-truth, if he was naïve enough to forget the detail, I wanted him to forget, I wouldn't remind him.

"what for?" his face showed disgust at the idea of it. but, I reminded myself, he wasn't the most coordinated of people.

"wild-life." I said, hoping he wouldn't catch on to the double meaning in my words. it was too much to hope for.

"what's your favorite 'wildlife'" he asked, grinning. I gaped at him.

maybe he just didn't get it. no way would he sit there so coolly...maybe I could get carlisle to look at him?

"mountain lion." I said hoping to get the message through. I flashed him a grin, showing my teeth. he still didn't recoil. did this human have any normal reactions?

well then, if he wanted to act like nothing was out of the ordinary...

"we tend to leave forks to hunt. I mean there's plenty of animals here, dear, elk, nothing that would put up a fight, but there's no fun in that now is there?" I said, smiling sweetly.

"none whatsoever." he said his voice normal and his heartbeat steady. I rolled my eyes at his tone and he chuckled.

"tell me what you're thinking. please." I asked, I had to know, there was no way he was really as calm as he seemed.

"I'm...I'm trying to picture it, but I can't" he explained, his pencil idly tracing the paper in front of him.

"good." I said simply.

mr banner finished his lecture and turned on an old television. a science film began to roll. he turned out the lights.

the lights, usually making no difference to me, suddenly changed the atmosphere in the room. a spark flew though me and settled in my 'stomach'. the feeling grew, a small, yet comfortable, fire was burning it's way through me. maybe burning wasn't the right word. glowing would have made more sense.

I was also very conscious of the space between me and Edward, or rather the lack of. the seats had never been this close together had they?

the air hummed.

after what felt like an age, and also no time at all, the lights were flicked back on and the electricity disappeared. I realized that I hadn't moved once the entire time. neither had Edward. he stretched and stood. I got to my feet and we walked out-side.

a light drizzle met us as we stepped out the doors. I walked with Edward to gym, his next class. at the doors he stopped and faced me. I looked up into his face. his bronze-hair had darkened from the rain. he drew in a breath and I realized he had stopped breathing. I looked away.

a warm hand grabbed my own. I looked to see Edward raising it to his lips. he kissed my hand briefly and smiled, before turning away.

_lucky Cullen. wish he'd do that to me_

_what does he have that I don't have?_

_I should have never told him about her._

I ignored the thoughts that floated towards me as I walked away, a smile spreading itself across my lips. the place where his lips had touched my hand tingled and I suddenly felt like the teenager I used to be. I giggled and went to sit in my car, knowing I would have less interest in lessons than usual.


	14. Falling In Too Deep

as the end of that final hour arrived, I left my car and stood against the gym block wall. at the ringing of the final bell the doors opened revealing a crowd of mussed up humans.

I saw him, his hair more windswept than usual, as he left the gym looking around. his eyes locked on mine and he smiled at me. we walked to the car quietly.

"the cold. is that part of it?" he asked suddenly. "your hand." he explained. I smiled. if this boy could figure out almost everything after just a day...how had we remained hidden for so long?

"yes." I answered simply.

"is there anything else that you can do?" he continued.

"we're strong. unbelievably so. and fast." he looked unsurprised. I looked at him questioningly.

"the car" he said. he knew more than I thought.

"we have magnified senses. our hearing. right now I can hear your heart beating." his eyes widened at this slightly. " our eye-sight. humans are almost blind compared to us. I can see every stitch in your clothes and every hair on your head." by this time we had pulled into his driveway. I switched off the engine.

"what did you mean about the sun?" Edward asked remembering my comment last night.

"I'll show you. on Saturday." I remembered Alice's warning " and about Saturday...do you really want to go to Seattle or was that an excuse to Jessica?" he looked sheepish.

"um...it was an excuse." he said.

"well the thing is, it'll be sunny Saturday so I'll need to stay away from people." I explained. "so unless you want to cancel and go to Seattle..." I trailed off. the thought of him canceling was unattractive.

"where do you want to go?" he asked. I felt a smile slide across my face.

"there's a place I like to go. when the weathers nice." the idea just came to me. an image of my meadow danced in my head.

"sure." he said, grinning.

just then I heard the sound of a car rounding the corner. I stiffened, hearing the thoughts.

_-finally managed to persuade dad to visit. have been waiting to see Edward since the beach..._

I picked up the unfamiliar thoughts of a young girl.

_-wonder why Leah's so keen to see Charlie? been pestering me since the week-end about it._

I breathed in sharply. I recognized those thoughts. Harry Clearwater.

Edward noticed my stiff posture and was about to ask why when their car pulled up behind us.

"ah." was all he said.

"I'll see you tomorrow." I said, trying to smile, but the situation had made me rather tense.

"sure." he said and left the car. I reversed, my car facing theirs. I saw Harry's eyes widen and heard his panicked thoughts.

I saw Edward standing at the door watching me. I waved, stepped on the pedal and my car flew away.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I left my car in the garage and walked slowly, for me, up the steps. I opened the door and was greeted by a shriek that made my ears ring.

"HOW COULD YOU?! YOU HAVE KNOWN THIS PITIFUL HUMAN FOR A FEW WEEKS AND YOU TELL HIM?! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU MAY HAVE DONE?!" Rosalie screeched at me. "WHAT IF HE SAYS SOMETHING? WHAT WILL WE DO THEN? HOW COULD YOU BE SO SELFISH?"

" HE WON'T SAY ANYTHING!" I yelled back, getting angry now. of course he wouldn't.

"WE SHOULD HAVE KILLED HIM THE FIRST CHANCE WE GOT!" she continued. a vision of Edward's life-less body hit me from her mind. I saw red.

I made to jump for her but was being held back by two arms. I could see Emmett restraining Rosalie as I turned to see my captor.

"get off me jasper!" I snarled, struggling to escape the prison his arms created. his contact increased his calming vibes, but I was too far gone and they helped a minimal amount.

"STOP!!" another loud voice yelled. I stopped my fruitless efforts to escape and saw Alice standing between the four of us. "he won't say anything." she said in a quieter voice than before. " I can see that." I, immaturely, threw a smug smile over at Rosalie. she growled.

"Rosalie, baby." Emmett tried. "you knew this would have to happen. if Alice's visions are going to be true..." he trailed off under the glare she was throwing him.

"I didn't tell him." I said quietly. "he found out." the four of them looked at me questioningly. " he was at La Push over the weekend..." I heard Alice's intake of breath and continued. "he ran into an old family friend who told him the old legends."

"does that mean the treaty's void then?" Jasper asked, releasing me. Emmett did the same to Rosalie.

"I don't know. I guess." I said. looking at them all in turn.

"I'll speak to carlisle." he said and left.

"come on Rose. let's hunt." Emmett said, pulling Rosalie away and out the back door, leaving only me and Alice in the room.

the melody that had been playing itself around in my head last period came back to me and I walked over to my piano. sitting down, I realized, I had neglected playing for so long. I think since we moved to forks almost three years ago. three years. I felt guilty at this. Esme loved to hear me play.

I ran my hands up the keys and tapped out a scale. it was still in tune. I laid out the notes that had been swirling around in my head down onto the ivory keys.

_Bella's playing again? _I heard Esme stop her gardening outside and listen. _it's a new song. it's beautiful._

I let my fingers flow along the keys playing out the notes as they formed once more. it sounded better than I had imagined. I heard Esme get up from the garden and enter the house. she sat on the bottom of the stairs listening.

I forgot everything and just focused on the song. it was soft and slow almost like a mother's song to a child. a lullaby. that was it. a lullaby.

I looked down at my hands, remembering Edward's gesture and smiled. his sleeping form came into my head and I slowed down the song. he looked right, there asleep. that was how it was meant to be. I let the song drift to a close and laid my head on the top.

feeling Esme's hand on my shoulder I looked up.

_it'll work out for you. you are owed this much. _I smiled weakly at her, though a mother could never speak ill of her children. especially not a mother such as Esme.

I sat up straight again and played another of my compositions. Esme's favorite. I had created this melody in appreciation of the love I had seen between her and carlisle.

she sat beside me and listened to me play, and for those few hours I forgot everything. everything, except the music that I played.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

the next morning I had no need to call to Edward. he just walked over, still managing to stumble a few times, and got in.

I asked him how he slept. his eyes were faintly ringed with dark circles, that I'm sure even he couldn't see.

"fine. you?" he asked, grinning.

"couldn't sleep a wink." I said, grinning back.

"can I ask what you did last night?" he asked. I was about to answer but then stopped. he had been asking me questions all day yesterday and I had no knowledge about him.

"no. I've decided, today it's my turn." I said. he looked confused.

"your turn to what?"

"ask questions." I said. we had arrived at the school now and I got out the car, leaving Edward looking worried. he snapped to his senses and joined me outside.

"what do you want to know?" he asked as we walked to his first class. I thought. simplest questions first.

"favorite colour?" I asked. he looked taken aback, probably at the easy question.

"it changes." he said.

"what is it at the moment?"

"blue."

it continued like this through-out the day. each time I met him out-side his classrooms I would continue my questions. asking the most trivial things, but desperate for the answers.

the answer I was most skeptical of was his lack of romantic history.

"I never felt anything for the girls that liked me." he explained.

"so you've never met any-one you felt something for?" I asked eyebrows raised.

"not in my 17 years in phoenix." he said, quietly. was that meant to mean something? I moved on to the next one.

at lunch, as I sat across from him, Alice's voice floated into my head.

_Bella. we're leaving now. me and you. we're going hunting. don't argue. you'll need it if you're spending the whole day with him tomorrow._

at this she knew she had me.

_say your goodbyes and whatnot. I'm coming over._

I hissed at this but she ignored me.

"I'm leaving after lunch." I said quietly. I saw his face fall slightly before he regained it. I continued " Alice is coming with me. we're going hunting. if I'm spending tomorrow with you I need to be at my strongest."

instead of cringing at this, he just looked understanding.

he suddenly jumped, and I knew, with-out looking around, that Alice was behind me.

_I'm heeeere. _she sang silently.

"hello Alice." I said.

_please. please please, Bella! _she begged. I sighed and gave in.

"Edward this is Alice. Alice this is Edward." I said motioning between the two of them. Alice held out her hand and Edward took it, not flinching from the cold.

"hi Edward. it's so nice to _finally _meet you. I've heard so much about you." she said, smiling. I hissed at her. her already wide grin grew more pronounced.

"hi Alice." he said smiling at her. she turned to me.

"I'll wait by the car." she said and she danced out the lunch-room. I stood and Edward rose too.

"your car will be here at the end of the day." I told him.

"it's okay. I can walk." Edward said, smiling a small small.

"your car will be here." I repeated. "and I'll see you tomorrow." I suddenly realized how long of a time that seemed to me.

"tomorrow then." he said. the bell rang and I turned away, moving gracefully towards the exit. at the door I turned back to him. he was still standing there, I waved and left.

as I crossed the car-park, I saw Edwards truck in my parking space and Alice in my Volvo at the exit.

stopping by his truck I opened the unlocked door. I found a pen and pencil in the glove compartment. I scrawled a note:

_stay safe for me._

_Bella._

and left it on his seat. I shut the door and ran to Alice. she smirked at me, revved the engine and sped out of forks.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

we got out the car after an hour of driving into the mountains. immediately falling into hunting crouches, we headed into the trees. catching the scent of a small bear, we raced towards it, making it a competition. I, being the fastest out of our family, beat her by a fraction of a second. she sped off in direction of another scent as I took down the bear.

afterwards I ran upwards climbing to the top of the mountain and sitting on the peak. after waiting 30 seconds the topaz eyes of my sister stared into mine.

"boo." Alice said sitting beside me.

"what a terrifying monster you are." I said, nudging her. she giggled.

"and don't forget it."

we stayed there for a while in silence, watching the sun fall down the sky. when Alice squealed.

"ooh Bella can I pick your outfit for tomorrow!?" she asked with a grin on her face. I sighed, there would be no talking her out of it.

she saw my decision and sprung to her feet. I jumped up too and we jumped, spiraling towards the earth. we hit the ground and ran for the car.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

handing me my outfit, she sat on the edge of my sofa. I looked at the tan sweater, jeans and a sleeveless shirt. they were a bit toned down for Alice's normal style, but I wasn't complaining.

her wide eyes looked at me. I could see the concern and joy in them. I smiled at her.

"he's good for you Bella." she said smiling. "have you seen how happy you've been since him?"

a smile spread across my face and I realized how incomplete my life had been. I had been reasonably content, lonely in love, but surrounded by family. it wasn't until I had found the thing I had been missing, that I wondered how I had managed before.


	15. Of Sunlight And Sparkles

the wind ceased blowing my hair around as I stopped running outside of Edwards door. I could hear his heart beating, it was faster than usual. at least I wasn't the only one of us who was nervous. I knocked. the heartbeat faltered and I heard his foot falls come towards the door. it swung open, revealing Edward standing in the door looking breathless.

I looked at his outfit and tried to conceal my smirk. this had Alice written all over it. he was wearing the male version of my outfit. I failed at hiding my grin and chuckled.

"what's funny?" he asked, looking so confused it was cute.

"we match." I explained. he looked down at my clothes. he had obviously not noticed them before.

"are we going then?" I asked and he closed the door behind him.

"I have a favor to ask." Edward turned to me. "can I drive?" I laughed.

"why?" this boy had such bizarre ideas.

"well because if Charlie comes home early and finds my truck here without me, he'll think somethings up...and you drive way too fast." I laughed again.

"of all the things that could scare you, you worry about my driving." I rolled my eyes at him. "but do you even realize how slow you drive?" I teased.

"hey! I drive a perfectly normal speed for a human being." he protested.

"did you not tell your father you would be with me?" I said, stopping by his truck, picking up on his earlier comment.

"with Charlie the less he knows the happier he is." Edward explained. I raised my eyebrows at him. he grinned and changed the subject.

"so can I drive?" he asked again. I sighed and walked round to the passenger side and hopped in.

after he had managed to start the aging engine I directed him out of forks.

"now we drive until the road ends." I said. we fell into a comfortable silence.

I looked over to the boy who had changed me so drastically. he looked lost in thought. I was still amazed that he hadn't shunned me and my family. that he was actually voluntarily spending his time with me. most humans stay away from us. they themselves don't even realize why they do it. their survival instincts scream at them to stay away, and so they do. I smiled at the fact that Edward was the one exception to this.

"where are we going?" Edward asked, speaking for the first time since we set off.

"in the woods. there's a small meadow I go to. we'll hike there." I said, smiling at him.

"hike?!" he asked, looking worried.

"is there a problem with that?" I asked. I knew why he was worried. he had trouble walking on a flat surface. what chance would he have on the uneven undergrowth. but, that being said, I wanted to show him my meadow.

"no. no problem at all." he said, still with a look of concern present on his face.

"pull over here." I said indicating to a small opening. he pulled in and parked.

I got out the car. I saw him heading over to a trail-head on the other side of the clearing.

"Edward. it's this way." I called. his face flushed a bit.

"we're not taking the trail?" he asked even more worried now.

"no." I said and led the way.

we walked together in silence. I occasionally asked him questions that I had not yet found the answers to yesterday. I had to help him over a few larger obstacles that proved no trouble to me. he looked incredulous still at my strength and I laughed at his disbelieving expression. I laughed louder than usual, it echoed back to me from the otherwise silent forest. I felt more free, with Edward. more myself.

eventually I saw the leafy cover, that had provided a green darkness, lighten and a yellow glow appear through the trees, confirmation of the sun.

"are we there yet?" Edward asked, teasingly, like a child on a car journey.

"not far. can you see up ahead where the trees thin?" I pointed ahead.

"nope. nothing." he said concentrating. I laughed at his serious expression. Edward had made me laugh more in the past few days than I had in a decade.

"maybe it's a bit too soon for _your _eyes." I commented.

"need them checked then." he muttered. I giggled again.

after a while he began to speed up and I knew he had seen the light ahead. I fell behind letting him lead, I wasn't sure I was ready to show him. would he think me more of a freak after this? I watched him break through the trees and stayed in the shadows, watching him take in the meadow.

it was beautiful. it was perfectly round and the sun shined directly over-head. it was full of long grass and colorful flowers. he stopped in the center of it and turned around looking for me. he saw me and took a step forward, calling my name. I held up a hand to him. he stopped and waited.

I took off my sweater and threw it to the ground. and then, taking a deep, unnecessary breath, and stepped out into the sunlight.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

we sat there in silence for hours. I was lying back in the long grass, letting the sun soak onto me. Edward, for some reason, stayed sitting. I smiled as I remembered his reaction:

_I stepped out into the sunlight._

_as soon as the rays hit me, my arms, face and any part of me left uncovered sparkled. it looked as though some-one had sewn diamonds into my skin._

_I watched Edwards face carefully as he saw me. his mouth was open slightly and his eyes were wide with a glassy haze. they did not look fearful though, merely... I wasn't sure what they were. I walked to his side. _

"_so this is why you can't come out in the sun." was all he said. I nodded._

"_dazzling." he murmured. I wasn't sure whether I was meant to hear it. _

I was pulled back from my thoughts as a warm pressure was placed on my hand. I opened my eyes and saw Edwards head bent over my hand examining it close to his face, a look of wonder on his face.

"I don't scare you?" I asked, honestly curious. he was looking at the skin of a killer. I was wondering whether he had registered that yet.

"not any more than you usually do." he said, a teasing hint to his serious tone. I smiled at him.

his hand moved to my wrist and I closed my eyes at the feeling. the same tingle I experienced the last time he had touched me scorched my skin.

"this doesn't bother you, does it?" he asked, sounding a bit apprehensive.

"no." I said truthfully. "you have no idea how that feels." I opened my eyes and watched his face as he moved his hand, trailing nonsensical patterns on my arm. it showed only fascination.

"what are you thinking about?" I asked. "it's still so strange for me to have no idea." I said, watching him.

"you know, that's how most people feel" he said, with a light mocking voice. he avoided the question.

"yes, it's a hard life." I said. I was just beginning to realize how blind I was without that sense, how did humans cope? "but you still didn't tell me." I pointed out. he sighed and l was anxious as to why he was so reluctant. but he complied.

"I was wishing I could know what _you _were thinking..." he said, though I knew there was more.

"and..." I prompted.

"I wish that I could believe this is real." he said. "and that I wasn't afraid." he mumbled the last part.

a pain shot through me as I heard the last five words. he was afraid of me. of course he had every reason to be, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

"I don't want for you to be afraid." I said loud enough for his ears, looking away. I knew he would hear the words that I could not say, as there was no truth in them. that there was no need for him to be afraid. that he was safe.

"that's not exactly what I meant." he said "though it could be something to think about." he spoke as though he was just realizing this danger.

what could he be afraid of then? the only rational explanation I had was...well...me. but he was denied this.

"what are you afraid of then." I asked, flipping onto my side and leaning on my elbow, as I looked into his eyes, looking for the answers.

they had become glazed and without consciously realizing what he was doing, he leaned in, inhaling.

the most concentrated wave of his scent hit me as his bare throat was brought into close proximity to me. I lept to my feet and ran to the shade of the trees. I breathed in the smell of the leaves, with the minimal hint of Edward attached to them. I knew without looking, that my golden eyes had turned coal black.

I looked back to Edward. he was sitting there, frozen, looking at me.

"I'm...sorry...Bella." he whispered, knowing that I would hear. he blamed himself?! he blamed himself for the fact that I was a born killer?!

"please. just wait a moment. please." I called back raising my voice so that it would reach his ears.

a light wind blew, clearing the last of Edward's strongest scent from my nose. I walked out of the shade and back to Edward.

not entirely sure that he'd be comfortable with my presence now, I sat a few meters away facing him. I looked at him.

"I am truly, so very sorry." I said, not breaking my gaze from his eyes. "if I told you that I was only human, would you understand what I meant?" I asked, joking weakly. a small smile flashed across his face, but it was not the smile I yearned to see.

I could smell the adrenaline racing through his body. my self-disgust deepened.

"I'm the world best predator, aren't I? everything about me invites you in. my voice, my face, even my smell. as if I need any of that." I spat the words with a venom directed inwards. I jumped up again and lapped the meadow twice in under a second, coming to a stop by one of the trees. "as if you could outrun me." I laughed darkly. I reached above my head and took a hold of a two foot thick branch. I separated it from the trunk as easily as if I was tearing thought paper. I balanced it in my hands and threw it with blinding speed against the trunk of another tree. it shattered. I ran back and came to a halt, crouching in front of Edward. "as if you could fight me off." I said, quieter.

his eyes showed shock and fear as I looked into them. I knelt in front of him, making his face set above mine.

"please forgive me." I almost begged. "I promise...I swear not to hurt you." not a word escaped his lips.

"_please _forgive me." I _was _begging now. "I was caught off guard." a single word would do. just anything but the silence.

"I'm not thirsty today, honest" I said, winking to break the mounting tension. I just hoped my coal eyes had returned to their normal topaz.

he laughed slightly and that seemed to pull him out of his daze.

"are you alright." I asked. I had messed up. I needed to check he was fine. I sat back into my original position, keeping my eyes on Edward's.

I hesitantly placed my hand back into his. his hands immediately resumed tracing patterns on my arm. I breathed a sigh of relief as he smiled at me.

"where were we then?" I asked. "before I acted in such an monstrous manner." I said. he scowled at the 'monstrous' comment.

"to be honest. I have no idea." he said, chuckling nervously.

"I think we were talking about why you were afraid, aside from the now obvious reason." I said, recalling the conversation.

"oh" was all he said.

"well?" I asked, waiting for his response.

"well...I was afraid because, well for obvious reasons, I can't stay with you. and I think I want to much more than I should." he said, looking down at the hand he now held of mine.

my heart both swelled and shattered at this sentence.

"that's not really your safest option is it? wanting to stay with me." I said quietly, not letting the pain show in my voice. he _couldn't _stay with me. not being what he was.

I had allowed him to fall in this deep. I, in my own selfishness, had placed my happiness above his safety.

"I should have stayed away. I should have at least kept my distance." I said, talking to myself as well as him. "but you're holding me here. I don't have a chance at leaving any more." I confessed.

"I'm glad." he said.

I tensed involuntarily at his words. _glad? _the prey was not meant to crave the predator.

"don't be glad." I said a biting edge to my voice. "your mind and your self aren't the only things that I desire. never forget that I am the most dangerous of my kind for you." I broke off composing myself.

"what...? I'm not sure I know what you meant by that. well the last part anyway." he admitted.

how could I put this, without making the fear run through his veins again?

"how to say it..." I mused while he watched me expectantly. I sat up to look at him fully.

"you know ice cream right?" I asked. "sorry about the food analogy but it's difficult to describe it otherwise." he nodded understandingly so I continued. "there are different flavors. peoples choices vary between chocolate, vanilla and strawberry...." this wasn't working.

"maybe that was the wrong way to explain it. I know. an alcoholic. say he's recovering, quitting what he desires most. place him in a room of stale beer, he could resist if he were inclined to. but what about if it was the finest, rarest cognac. the aroma filling the room with it's scent. do you think he would fare as well?" he was the cognac to the stale beers that surrounded me.

he appeared to be thinking through what I said. maybe I hadn't explained it right.

"maybe that was wrong too. maybe a alcoholic could resist. a heroin addict instead then?" I said.

"so...what? I'm your heroin?" he asked, trying to lighten the mood. I laughed slightly. it fit.

"yes. you're my heroin." I was grateful that he had found a way to show my 'addiction' as it were. oddly enough though he didn't seem frightened by the prospect.

though, of course, he still had questions.

"does it happen a lot?" he asked, curiosity leaking into his voice.

"no. I heard my family's thoughts about it when I first met you. only Emmett and I so far." I told him. there had been lots of thoughts circulating our 'singers' since Edward. Emmett's thoughts had been a lot more explicit about his actions and had made my throat scorch.

"what happened with him?" he asked. I closed my eyes. I wished he hadn't of asked that. but then again he always asked the questions I didn't want to answer. questions that the answers to should have him running from me.

he noticed that I wasn't going to answer and knew what I couldn't willingly say.

"oh." was all he said. I kept my eyes closed, not wishing to see the look of disgust that was surely on his face.

"even the strongest of us will fall." I said, defending my brother. it was never his fault. he wasn't as practiced then as he was now.

"is there no other way then?" he asked. how calmly he sat, while discussing his death.

"NO! no! I wouldn't!" I opened my eyes to look at him. I was almost cross that he would assume this, but then he had every right. "I...It's different. this was a stranger, he stumbled across. he was younger then, he had less...control."

there was another way. there was hope for it. that day in biology should have been Edward's last, but he was still here. still breathing. heart still beating.

"though...my control almost flew out the window in biology." I admitted.

"that's why you left." he stated, remembering.

"I couldn't have stood it for a whole hour. you wouldn't be here if I hadn't of left."

"is that why you left just now?" he asked. I nodded. "what was it. what did I do?" he was blaming himself?! he never failed to shock me.

"it wasn't what you did." I was quick to correct him. "humans normally stay away from us. I've never dealt with one in such close contact. and the fact that it was you made it all the worse." I admitted. I continued with my story.

"after I ran. I waited for my brothers and sisters. I told none of them what had happened, but dropped them off at home. Alice is gifted, like me with my mind-reading. she has visions. the future. she saw me leaving and got worried. but I still left. I drove to another coven in Alaska. I stayed there to clear my head. but I grew homesick. I missed my family. so I came back."

"the first day back I was...fascinated. you were like none of the other humans I had ever met. I was eager. eager to decipher your thoughts. but then you would move slightly, stir the air again and your scent would hit me once more."

"then you were nearly crushed in front of my eyes, I had no other reaction rather than to save you. I had a good enough reason. if you had been killed, if your blood had pooled on the car-park floor. there would have been no way I could have kept away. but I only thought if this after I had saved you. the only thoughts in my head at the time were 'not him'."

"after wards...I fought with my brothers and sisters. the worst fight we've ever had, when they suggested that it was time. carlisle sided with me. and Alice. Esme told me to do what I could to stay. "

"the next day I listened in on the minds of people you spoke to. I was shocked when I heard you say nothing about what happened. I wanted to ask why, but I was staying away. I convinced myself that if I could stay away you would be safe from discovering any more." and to stop Alice's visions. "but each day your scent would floor me, just like the very first time." I felt weak at admitting all this, but he had a right to know. after all it was his life.

"but..." my voice changed. fell to a softer tone. "if I had ended your life that first day, I would have fared much better than I would now, with no-one here to stop me."

he looked confused.

"why?"

"Edward." I enjoyed the sound of his name of my tounge. "you don't know how it's haunted me." unthinkingly I reached up to run my hand down the side of his face, lightly. "the thought of you. still, white, never to hear your heart beat again...it would be torture." at this moment I couldn't care whether he felt the same way about me or not. I needed to tell him.

"you are the most important thing to me now Edward. the most important thing ever." I could not recall the words now.

I didn't know how we had come from the subject of hid death to this. but I waited for him to say something.

after what seemed like an age to me, though maybe it was just a few seconds, he looked me straight in the eyes.

"you should know how I feel." he said, a light pink tinge hit his cheeks. "I'm here, with you, even though it's not in my better interests. which, roughly translated means - I would prefer death, than keeping away from you."

the joy that spread through my heart was indescribable. it felt like my heart was swelling to cope with all the extra love I was know feeing.

"so the lamb fell in love with the lion." I heard him mumble and my thrill at the word was barely concealed.

what he said fit us perfectly.

I moved my hand from his face and held it against his neck. I could feel the beat of blood rush through his veins.

"stay still." I said quietly and he froze. I leaned in closer to his neck. closing my eyes, I allowed myself to inhale.

fire scorched my throat and yet I had no desire to move my head and sink my teeth into his throat. I leaned my head against his neck and rested my hands on his shoulders. I kept on breathing.

the warmth that was emanating from his body, heated up my face and chest.

I moved my head and rested it on his chest. I could feel his heartbeat pulse against my cheek. the most important sound in my world.

I could feel him begin to relax after becoming used to our closeness.

I sat there, leaned against him for an immeasurable amount of time. my predatory urges were quietened the longer I sat there.

I finally moved away from him. I had managed it.

"that was easier than I thought it would be." I said not bothering to stop the smile that overtook my face. I grabbed his hand and held it to my cheek.

"can you feel how warm that is?" I asked him. "I haven't felt warmth in over a century."

"don't move." he repeated my earlier words. I fell into complete motionlessness. I closed my eyes and let go of his hand. however his hand did not leave my face.

he traced the space beneath my eyes and ran his hand along my nose. his thumb stroked my cheek. when his fingers traced the outline of my lips, they parted and I breathed out a sigh.

he withdrew his hand and I opened my eyes.

"...I...wish you could feel the...complexity of this." I said. inside of me something was rousing. "there are...hungers." yes that would work. "but not the usual kind. these are foreign to me." I looked into his emerald eyes, so close to my own.

"I may understand that better than you think." he said, quietly.

"I've never felt so human before." I admitted looking away. "is it always like this?"

"for me? never." he told me. I looked back at him to see if there was any misgivings in his eyes. there were none.

it was a comfort to know that I wasn't facing a new path alone.

"I don't know how to be close to you." I confessed.

as an answer he lay down, pulling me with him. he wrapped his arms around me, my back against his chest.

"this is enough." he said in a whisper. I closed my eyes and let myself go to the content and happiness I was feeling. just lying there in one boys arms meant the world to me.

**(A/N - this is a really long chapter for me and i spent ages doing it - hope it was worth it. please review and tell me **

**thanks - hattii x  
**


	16. He's Edward My Edward

I wasn't sure how long we both lay there, but soon the shadows of the trees crept towards us and the sun slipped behind the mountains in the distance. I heard Edward sigh behind me.

"you have to go?" I asked interpreting his sigh.

"what happened to 'I can't read your mind'?" he said. I laughed slightly. I still couldn't read his mind, but I could read Edward.

"you're easy to read." I said, leaning back into his chest again.

seeing how low the sun was in the sky gave me an idea. we would never get back to his truck in time if we hiked back. but there was another way.

I rolled over to face him.

"can I show you something?" I asked, the excitement leaking into my voice.

"show me what?" he asked, almost warily.

"I want to show you how _I _travel." I grinned at him.

running was my escape. when-ever something was on my mind, I ran. I ran for the thrill of the speed and the wind as it messed up my hair. running was the part of what I am that I truly loved.

"how do you travel?" his face looked a little bit apprehensive. I jumped to my feet.

"I'll show you. come here." I said, pulling him to his feet. he got up looking at me cautiously.

"get on my back." I said. at this he just looked completely disbelieving. I rolled my eyes again. "Edward haven't I already proved how strong I am?" I said, placing my hand on my hip.

"yeah but...it just seems...weird." he shrugged.

of course he would have the classic male complex. I took him by the waist and lifted him above my head, making sure that I was at my most gentle and my strength toned down to a bare minimum. I looked up into his shocked face.

"believe me now?" I teased.

"yes. just let me down." he choked out. I laughed and set him on his feet.

"get on my back then." I said. and without waiting for his consent I pulled in onto my back, he was like a feather to me, and I set off running. I felt his arms wrap tighter around me as he fully experienced the speed I cold achieve.

it may have looked weird to any-one else, a small thin 17 year old girl carrying a heavier and taller boy, but I didn't think about that. I just concentrated on my running and the speed we were going at.

then again, was there really anything about us that was normal. a resounding 'NO' echoed through my head. there was nothing about us that was normal. normal girls didn't carry their ..._boyfriends?_ through the forests at alarming speeds. normal girls didn't wish to kill their _boyfriends. _what else do normal people do?

the images from Jessica Stanley's head came back to me. me and Edward leaning towards each other. No. that couldn't happen. it wasn't possible. was it?

maybe, there could be a chance I could handle it. I had lain with him for a majority of the day. I had refrained from killing him. could I manage it?

we had reached the truck by now and I froze to a halt, letting Edward get off. he didn't move.

"Edward?" I asked, worried. he didn't answer. "Edward!" I called. he got off, almost falling from my back, sitting on the ground. I turned to face him and saw his pale face was paler still. he sat there on the damp ground and I knelt next to him.

of course. that would have been an amazing amount of speed for him to experience, faster than anything else.

"sorry." I muttered, berating myself for being so stupid.

"it's not your fault. it was...interesting." I chuckled darkly.

"Edward your as pale as a ghost. as pale as me in fact." that was a bad comparison. he should never be as pale as me.

he closed his eyes and leaned his head back against a tree.

I watched his face change back to it's original colour and heard his heartbeat and breathing return to normal.

"are you okay?" I asked. he nodded slightly, still not opening his eyes.

I thought about what I wanted to do. in my head I was almost sure that I could do it.

opening his eyes he rose to his feet. I quickly joined him.

"Edward. I was thinking, while I was running..." I stopped not sure how to continue.

"about staying away from trees I hope." he said. I laughed.

"Edward. running is second nature. there's no need to think about it." I said.

"show-off." he muttered. I laughed again, but stopped quickly.

"I was thinking...there's something I want to try." I said. I slid my arms up around his neck. I heard his breath catch in his throat. standing on the balls of my feet, I placed my lips to his.

in that second, I felt a spark go through me. but what I wasn't prepared for was what Edward did.

one of his hands rose and entwined itself into my hair and his other arm snaked around my waist. he gasped and the sweet scent of him blew right out into my face.

I froze, stopping myself from moving my lips to his neck. I pulled away slightly and opened my eyes. Edward, seeing mine open started to pull away. I held him there.

"no. wait. please." I whispered. if there was anything I had learned over the past century it was that vampires are hunters. we enjoy the thrill of a chase and a fight. if Edward moved, my instincts would kick in to follow.

I felt my muscles slowly un-tense and my body begin to relax. I swallowed the venom that had pooled in my mouth and smiled.

"there." I said. I was oddly elated, not only at the fact that I had resisted but the feeling that had shot through me at the touch of Edward's lips.

"sorry." he mumbled. I frowned, not wanting him to apologize.

"you can't help being human." I grinned.

"yeah thanks." he said, sarcasm dripping from his words.

"now. are you still faint from the run?" I asked, noticing he was still unsteady on his feet "or was it my expert kissing." I added slyly.

a slight pink flush reached his cheeks and I grinned at it as he looked down at me.

"I'm fine." he said.

"I think I may have to drive. there is no way you can drive while drunk." I said laughing.

"drunk?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"yes. you are intoxicated by my presence." I said smiling innocently at him.

he reached into his pocket, pulled out the key and handed it to me, pulling it back at the last second.

"and what about you?" he said, leaning closer to me. I shivered at his lack of distance. "are you not affected at all by _my _presence?"

yes I was. I admitted to myself. his closeness had made me shiver and there was no way I could be cold. I leaned in to his ear.

"nevertheless I have much better reflexes." I breathed and took the keys out of his hand.

"I can't argue with that." he said, a dazed grin on his face.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

the journey back to his house started off as a quiet one.

I reached out and fiddled about with the ancient radio. I found an old fifties station. I sang along with the words, absentmindedly, remembering back when me and my family were in the fifties.

"you like fifties music?" Edward asked absently.

"yes. music during the fifties was good. much better than the sixties or seventies." I said, wrinkling my nose in disgust at the all too clear memories of those times.

"are you ever going to tell me how old you are?" he questioned. I looked over to him. why one earth would he want to know that?

"it's rude to ask a lady her age." I reprimanded, teasingly. he just looked at me. "why would you want to know that?" I asked.

"I want to know about you." he stated simply.

I sighed, taking his hand. I looked firmly ahead as I spoke

"I was born in Chicago..." I started. "in 1901." I glanced to the side of me. " Edwards expression had no change. I grinned slightly at this reaction."in the summer of 1918, Carlisle found me. I was seventeen, and dying of the Spanish influenza. my parents had already been claimed by the disease. there was no-one left for me. that was why he chose me."

"he had been alone for so long and saw something in my face that he had once wished for a daughter. I don't remember much, human memories fade...I do remember what it felt like when he changed me."

"how did he change you?" he asked. I groaned internally. this was a question I had been planning on avoiding.

"I...it was hard. not many of us have the restraint necessary to do so. but Carlisle has always been the most compassionate of us all...I don't think there's anyone to rival him through-out the whole of history." my father was the most humane of our family, the one who was least true to his nature. "for myself, all I remember is the searing agony." I left that piece of information for him to consider in the future.

"how did the rest of your family...join your family." he asked, curiously.

"Esme was the second to join." I was not exactly at liberty to discuss my family's personal stories, nor was I comfortable with it. "she fell from a cliff. they took her straight to the hospital morgue when she was found, though her heart still continued to beat."

"Rosalie was the next to join, Carlisle found her dying in the street and his compassion took over. 'a waste of human life' he said. he couldn't leave her. so he brought her home and changed her too. she was my first sister, hugely irritating but fiercely loyal and protective."

"Emmett was next. Rosalie found him while out hunting, he was attacked by a bear and was about to die when she found him. she carried him to Carlisle, almost two hundred miles, afraid she wouldn't be able to do it herself. how she kept from feeding I don't know, he was pouring blood, but she managed it. she said there was something in his face that made her strong enough. they've been together since then. sometimes they live separately from us as a married couple, never too far away. we still always give the cover as being one family."

"Alice and Jasper?" he asked. I smiled.

"Alice and Jasper are two very rare beings. they found each other, almost purely by accident, though Alice's first vision was of his face. they were, however, not changed by Carlisle. Jasper belonged to a very...different family. he grew depressed and wandered alone. Alice...is interesting. she awoke alone and with no memories whatsoever. normally we have recollections, fuzzy and unclear, but they're there. Alice had only the pain of the transformation. if it were not for her visions, as I told you, she would have gone truly savage. Jasper is gifted too. he manipulates peoples emotions. he can make you feel deliriously happy or irrationally upset or any other emotion you can think of. he sometimes uses it as a past-time when bored." I scowled, remembering the times I had been the guinea pig to his 'experiments'.

"Alice's vision's are very subjective. the future isn't set in stone. it's influenced by the decisions we make. she's most sensitive to our kind. it can be useful when she 'sees' another coven of our kind arriving."

of course Edward had more questions.

"are they many more then? of your kind?"

"yes. many more. there's only one other coven I know of who follow our diet. a coven in Denali. Carlisle met them in his younger years and we both lived there before Esme. I became close friends with Ariana. she was the one who convinced me to return to forks." I added the last sentence in absently. "those of us who live differently, tend not to form such close bonds as we do. they are nomads, for the most part. we've met a fair few in our time, most of us live in the north."

"whys that?" Edward asked, confusion written on his face. for a boy who figured out vampires existed he could be remarkably slow.

"were your eyes open today? do you think I could walk down the high street shining as I do?" I asked teasingly, watching his face flush slightly. "that's why we chose forks, one of the most sunless places in the world." I explained.

I pulled into chief Swan's driveway. I hadn't realized how quickly the drive had gone. I looked at the dashboard clock. oops.

"why didn't you say anything?" I demanded, cross at myself rather than him.

"what?" he asked, clearly confused.

"I've kept you from dinner." I said pointing to the clock. the time read half eight.

"oh." he said, comprehension dawning on his face. "I'm fine." he tried to convince me. I pressed my palm to my forehead.

"I haven't spent time with any-one who needs food as often." I said, guiltily.

"I'm fine." he repeated. "I don't want you to leave." he murmured.

"couldn't I come in?" I asked. the bluntness of it was unnerving to me. in the days of my youth, that would have been completely unacceptable.

"do you want to?" he sounded completely surprised, though not unhappy.

"if that's alright." I said looking away, a little embarrassed.

"of course." he said, he opened his door and slid out. I took the keys out the engine and began to open the door, before realized Edward had opened it. just like at the restaurant, it felt nice to be cared for.

I slipped ahead of him and unlocked his door, using the spare key I had seen him use a few times.

halfway through the now open door, he seemed to realize what I had done.

"I left the door unlocked?" he asked, looking slightly worried.

"no. I used the spare key from under the mat." I said, unthinkingly. after I said it I could have kicked myself. there's a good way to start a relationship. reveal stalker-like tendencies.

he raised an eyebrow at me, questioningly. I sighed, knowing he would accept nothing but the truth.

"night can be very boring." I said. smiling, what I hoped was a very innocent smile.

you spied on me?" he asked, trying to sound angry, but failing at it.

"I was curious." I said. he turned around, absentmindedly taking my hand and leading me to the kitchen, flicking on the lights. I sat in one of the chairs surrounding the wooden table. he pulled out a vile smelling dish of something and placed it in the microwave.

I looked around. I hadn't been in any other part of his house, other than his room. I saw a row of school photos of Edward ranging the seventeen years. there was no misplacing the unusually colored bronze hair and the sparkling emerald eyes.

I heard Edwards voice and it pulled me away from the photos.

"hmm?" I asked, not sure what he said.

"how often did you come here?" he asked almost nonchalantly but I heard the curiosity burning in his voice.

"almost every night." I stated simply. if he wasn't put off by the fact I came here...

"why?" he asked. "what could be so interesting?"he asked. his face then whitened and he froze as if realizing something terrible. I stood immediately and went to his side.

"Edward? what's wrong?" I asked, worried.

"I sleep talk." he whispered. his face then flushed a very dark red. "what did you hear?"

I bit my lip slightly, not wanting to cause him any embarrassment.

"you miss your mum. you used to say her name a lot...but it's not as frequent." I said, not looking him in the eye.

"anything else?" he asked. he knew I was keeping something from him and he had a good idea of what it was, I could tell from the violent shade of red his cheeks were.

I sighed.

"you did say...my name." I whispered. he groaned and put his had back, staring resolutely at the ceiling.

"a lot?" he asked, still not meeting my eyes.

"what _exactly _do you mean by a lot?" I asked, sidestepping the question. he groaned again.

I felt bad for causing him this embarrassment. I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head on his chest gently. he relaxed some and wrapped his own arms around my body sighing.

"don't be embarrassed." I said, softly. "if there was a chance I could dream, it would be of you."

our position seemed natural. we fit. like two jigsaw pieces.

unfortunately, our time was to be cut short. I could hear the sound of wheels turning the corner and caught onto Charlie's thoughts.

by this time Edward had heard the tires and seen the headlights swing into the drive-way. he stiffened slightly.

"should you dad know I'm here?" I asked. he hesitated, seeming unsure. I saved him the choice.

"another time then." I said, and slipped out of his arms. I ran out the kitchen.

once in the hallway I heard him hiss, "Bella._" _and chuckled, before running up the stairs.

I darted into his room. looking around I went to sit on his desk, as I usually did, but it seemed wrong after all that had happened today. instead I went and sat in his bed, lying back until my head touched the pillow.

it felt odd sitting on a mattress. I had had no need for one in over a century, so had never used one. it was longer than me so my fee reached no-where near the edge.

I could hear Charlie Swan's boots collide with the pavement outside. he pushed open the door.

"hey kiddo!" I heard him call through the house.

"hey dad." Edward's quiet voice replied.

I got distracted, seeing a photo I hadn't seen in the room before. maybe it was the position I was lying in.

I got up and saw Edward standing next to a dark-haired woman. I looked closer and saw they shared the same eyes. his mother. he looked down at her under his arm, the expression on his face like that of a parents. loving, amused and fiercely protective.

replacing the photo-frame, I lay back on the bed and listened Charlie's thoughts.

_he's not got any plans? I find that hard to believe. a teenage boy, with no intentions of going out on a Saturday night. he's lying._

"no girls got your attention yet?" I heard Charlie ask Edward.

_No. he's too young. he can have fun but a girl means trouble. I should know._

"...not yet dad." Edward said, I hoped, to placate his dad.

"I...thought...you mentioned that girl...Jessica Stanley-" Charlie got out.

I felt the surge of jealousy hit me hard, shocking me with the force I felt it.

"what? NO! dad, she's just a friend." I heard Edward quick denial. even so I still couldn't stop my mind from fantasizing the many ways I could kill Jessica. I didn't like her.

still in shock from the intensity of my jealousy, I didn't realize that their conversation had ended, till I heard Edward's feet hit the stairs.

the door opened, revealing Edward standing there with an almost pained expression on his face. he walked in, ignoring the light-switch, leaving the room in semi-darkness.

he walked to the end of the bed and collapsed onto it backwards, his knees hanging off and his feet still touching the floor. I moved my legs before he hit them and I held in a snicker, he hadn't noticed me. I got onto my knees and held my face a foot away from his. his eyes were closed.

"hey." I said. his eyes flew open and his heart stuttered. I grinned. "sorry."

he smiled at me. "I'm fine. just let me restart my heart." he joked and he sat up. I leaned away and he sat next to me. we were sitting so close, our legs were touching.

"your heart okay?" I asked.

"you tell me." he said, grinning. I laughed quietly, remembering Charlie was downstairs.

we sat there in silence for a moment. until Edward spoke up.

"can I have a minute to rejoin the human world?" he said. I smiled and got up to leave. his hand grabbed mine and pulled me back down.

he got up and grabbed some clothes and left the room. I heard the rush of a tap and was sure he was doing his teeth, after all I had no reason to perform night time rituals.

that water cut off, only to be replaced by a heavier force of a shower. I had only a need for a shower once a fortnight to wash away the dirt and grime of the world that stuck to me.

after a short amount of time the water shut off. a few minutes later I heard the door open and the sound of Edward's feet grow softer.

"going to bed, dad." I heard him say and his footsteps return.

the door opened and Edward walked in again. his hair was still wet from the shower and droplets of water slid down his face and neck into the sweatshirt and pajama bottoms he was wearing.

I sat cross-legged in the center of his bed and he sat opposite me.

"what did you do that for?" I asked, referring to his second 'goodnight' to Charlie.

"oh. he thinks that I'm sneaking out." he said simply. "apparently I look 'excited'"

I looked at him and saw that Charlie was right. his cheeks were still flushed slightly pink and his eyes were bright. I rested my hands on his cheeks to cool him down, knowing that my ice-cold hands would work.

he, how-ever, took my wrists and pulled me back with him. he sat up slightly, against his pillow and my head rested on his chest.

I looked up at him, questioningly. he shrugged and grinned.

I buried my face in his chest to stop him from seeing the ridiculous grin that was spreading across my face. as I did so I felt him shiver, and I was sure it wasn't from the cold.

my grin broadened at this. I loved the fact that I could have this effect on him.

I moved my head, my nose running across the planes of his chest. I looked up at him to see him facing away with his eyes closed. they opened and I saw the emerald shade of his eyes had darkened.

he moved suddenly and I froze, locking down, so as not to follow. after a few seconds I looked at him quizzically.

"did I do something wrong?" I asked, apprehensively.

"no. you're driving me crazy here Bella." he said looking at me. I smiled at that.

"really?"

"do you want an award?" he said, sarcastically. a small smile graced his lips. I grinned at his teasing.

"no. I'm good. I'm just...surprised that's all." I admitted. "it's just. I'm new at all this...and then to find that I'm good at this...is just a pleasant surprise."

"but how can you do it?" he asked, curious "today at the meadow..." he trailed off. I frowned. he was referring to when I ran from him. in truth it wasn't any easier, but I had come to the decision; he was staying alive.

"earlier...my mind was still...I wasn't sure that I was strong enough...but now-" I had never had to struggle so hard for words. "it'll be more difficult tomorrow...after I've been away from you."

"so don't leave." Edward said, simply. I laughed quietly, sitting up, holding my wrists together.

"fine then. bring on the hand-cuffs, I'll be a happy prisoner." I said, before lying back against him. his hand began to trace patterns on the arm I had laid across his chest.

"I like your laugh." he murmured. "you seem more optimistic today." he noted. I looked at him in disbelief. that was the sort of stuff I was expecting from my family, who had seen how pessimistic I was, not from him.

"isn't this all supposed to be like this? the brilliance of first love" I said. "have you noticed? you've read about something, watched it in thousands of plays and it's nothing like what you imagined?" I asked him.

"it's a lot more...forceful than I imagined." he said. "like when you experience jealousy. whenever I saw mike looking over at you in lunch or class, I kept feeling a reason to hit him." he admitted sheepishly.

"the first time I experienced jealousy was the day Jessica asked you to the dance. I was so shocked by the force it hit me with that I had to ask Jasper to decipher it for me so I could be sure. I tried to act like it didn't matter, I tried to _make _it not matter but I couldn't. and then when Lauren asked, again I waited, eager to hear your response, ridiculously so. and the surge of elation I felt as you turned them down."

"that night was the first night I came here. I came in through the window and watched you sleep. I remember, inhaling accidentally and I almost...killed...you then. but then as you slept, I heard you say my name, I was sure that you had awoken. but no, you were still asleep. it was then that I knew that I had no chance in staying way from you."

"but jealousy is an irrational thing. I mean, when I heard Charlie ask you about Jessica-" I was cut off.

"I really should have known you would be listening." Edward groaned. I grinned.

"you should have."

"but seriously? that made you jealous?" he asked incredulously. I scowled and he chuckled slightly.

"hey. I'm new at all this. the new human emotions are stronger than normal." I defended myself.

_-just check on him and make sure..._

I sat bolt upright. I could hear Charlie's thoughts and footsteps as he grew closer to Edwards room. I jumped up and looked for a place to hide. I spotted Edward's closet door standing ajar and darted inside.

"lie down." I hissed to Edward. "under the covers." he did. he just became motionless as the door cracked open. Charlie looked in on Edward's 'sleeping' form. he closed the door and Edward's eyes flashed open.

I went and stood back at the bed. Edward opened his arms and I slipped in, not noticing that I was now under the covers with him. we were in the same position that we lay in in the meadow. my back to his chest.

"good call." he whispered in my ear.

"don't you want to sleep yet?" I asked him.

"yeah, like I could fall asleep with you here." he murmured.

"fine then if you don't want to sleep..." I said, leaving the option open to him.

"I want to know more about you." he said.

"ask away."

"how do you read minds? and Alice with the future? and Jasper with the emotions?" he asked.

I shrugged slightly before answering.

"I don't know. Carlisle theories that we bring our strongest human traits with us to this life and that they're...intensified. our eyesight, our ears, our minds...he thinks that I must have been very perceptive to others."

"what about the others?"

"Emmett brought his strength, you can just tell by looking at him." I chuckled and continued "Esme, her motherly instincts, Rosalie her beauty, Carlisle his compassion. Jasper was very...charismatic. he had a way of persuading you to see his point of view. I believe that is where is gift comes from. Alice...I have a theory that, as she has no recollection of her previous life, she can see ahead...to compensate as such."

he was silent. all I could hear was the steady beating of his heart and his rhythmic breathing.

"did you fall asleep?" I had to ask as I had no way of telling from my current position.

"no."

"do you have anymore questions?" I asked. of course he would have.

"only a few thousand."

I laughed. "well we have tomorrow, and the next day and the next..." I smiled at the idea of many, many days spent with him.

"I like the sound of that." he said. he yawned.

"you need to sleep." I said.

"mmmm." was the garbled response. I chuckled again.

"goodnight Edward." I said, softly. I closed my eyes. feeling more human than I had in years.

**another long one. **

**please review. loads of people are reading and I hardy get any reviews. please – puts on puppy dog eyes and pouts - **

**hattii x**


	17. Actions And Reactions

Edward's heavy breathing filled my ears, telling me that he had fallen asleep. after twenty minutes his musical voice muttered nonsensical phrases and words. I didn't care what he was saying though, the fact that I was hearing his voice was enough.

I slid out of the embrace of his arms and headed for the window. I needed to change my clothes for tomorrow. I slid open the window and slung my legs over the sill.

"love you Bella."

I froze on the ledge. I turned around to see Edward's eyes still firmly closed. had he said that, or was it my wishful thinking? no. I had excellent hearing. did he mean it? I knew I loved him, but I had never imagined that he actually _loved _me.

I spun back around into the room and stood over him. I watched my sleeping boy before bobbing down and pressing my lips to his forehead.

"I...love you, Edward" I whispered against his copper hair.

I turned away and slipped out the window.

the familiar wind whipped through my hair as I ran. the run reminding me of my run with Edward. the giant grin was impossible to remove from my face.

I could hear the six separate thoughts of my family as I drew closer to my home.

_-anything could have happened! why won't Alice say? they could have been hurt!_

Esme's thoughts were thick with worry. for both me and Edward. she had already begun to think of Edward of a third son. always a mother.

_-nothing bad will have happened. Alice would have said if Bella needed help. at least I hope so. no, she would have. she should have said something!  
_

I rolled my eyes. trust Alice to keep something like this a secret. 'for the surprise' she always said.

_Bella! oh it was so perfect. and so romantic. Edward was so sweet. you took him to your meadow. you've never even taken me there!_

Alice had alreadyrealized I was here. I heard her pacing feet stop. I ran up to the front porch and the door flung open. I staggered back down the stairs with a loud crack as Alice threw herself at me. Esme and carlisle stood in the doorway, both with ridiculously large smiles plastered to their faces.

I joined in with Alice's joyous laughter unable to stop myself. she spun me around in circles, ecstatic. Alice let go of me and pulled me into the house bounding up and down.

_I'm telling them. you won't so I will!! _

"THEY KISSED!" Alice's shriek made me cover my ears it was so loud.

I could hear the shock in every-ones thoughts.

"so...everything went alright?" carlisle asked pointlessly. I grinned and nodded as Alice started again.

"it was so perfect! she took him to her meadow and they ran back to his car and they KISSED!" she yelled, her words streaming out so fast humans would have been unable to decipher it.

Esme let out a small noise of happiness before pulling me into a large hug. I hugged her back with such enthusiasm that her feet lifted off the ground.

I heard Emmett run down the stairs, Jasper in quick pursuit.

"you kissed him?" Jasper asked in blatant disbelief. _how? _he then took in my wide smile and grinned himself. _about time! your feelings were driving me crazy! _his thoughts were laced with teasing.

I noticed, even in my happy daze, that Rosalie stayed firmly upstairs. I rolled my eyes, refusing to be pulled out of the blissfulness I was feeling.

I placed Esme back on the ground and she ran back to Alice. the two of them started acting a couple of children and began bouncing up and down, clearly Alice was rubbing off on our usually sensible mother.

I felt Emmett clap a hand on my back.

"good for you little sis!" he boomed. he then registered the heat on my back.

_what's this?_

"you're warm!" he yelled. immediately three other hands fell on me.

"he _held _you!" Esme almost sang with her delight _you were that close? oh Bella this is wonderful! you look so happy!_

"no way?! he held you? as in touching?" Emmett asked disbelievingly.

Alice was almost beside herself with euphoria.

"you're going back tomorrow!" she yelled. I looked at her. "I saw it. what are you doing? I can't see..." she sounded frustrated that she couldn't peek.

"good. you watched today and gave everybody a review." I teased "you don't have to look into my every second with Edward."

_maybe..._"Bella! do you think that Edward would want to meet us? we won't scare him at all?" Esme asked, her voice worried. she desperately wanted to meet her 'new son'.

I laughed. after me, how could Edward be afraid of the caring, motherly figure of Esme?

"I don't think you'd scare him, if I didn't." I said.

"what do you mean? what happened?" Esme asked, apprehensively.

before I opened my mouth, Alice cut in.

"Bella...almost slipped." she said, quietly. Esme's eyes widened.

_you did? he saw you...lose control?_

I nodded, ashamed.

_but he didn't run. he must love you too!_

"he loves you." she crooned. her eyes misty with excitement.

"he told her...sort of!" Alice said, interrupting again. "she was about to leave when he said it in his sleep!" she burst out.

I scowled at her slightly, though the grin reworked itself back onto my face at the memory.

"you didn't have to spy on _everything _you know." I said.

"I had to make sure you wouldn't slip." she said, innocently.

"of course that's your excuse." I said sarcastically, though I couldn't be mad at her.

"so will you bring him round?" Esme persisted. she had ran back to carlisle and was in his arms. they both looked at me pleadingly.

"NO! HE CAN'T COME ROUND!" a loud voice arrived as Rosalie descended the stairs. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DANGEROUS THAT COULD BE?! HOW THIS WHOLE CHARADE IS?! WE ARE NOT HUMAN! WHY ARE WE PRETENDING TO BE SO?!" her blonde hair flying behind her as she rushed towards me.

"Rosalie..." Esme started, but she cut her off.

"NO! THIS ONE BOY COULD RUIN US! ONE SLIP OF THE TONGUE AND THE VOLTURI WILL BE DOWN ON US! AND YOU BROUGHT THIS UPON US! HOW SELFISH COULD YOU BE?!" she yelled, her topaz eyes darkening in her anger.

"Selfish? I'm selfish?" I asked, trying to keep my anger in check, my blissful mood gone. "look around you Rosalie. the whole family is _happy! _how is this selfishness?"

"yes but is Edward happy?" she asked, a vindictive smirk on her face. "would he be happy and safe here?"

"ROSALIE!" Esme reprimanded "apologize."

"no. why should I when she is not thinking of her _supposed love's _happiness and welfare." with that she walked back up the stairs.

I suddenly felt cold. could she be right? I stood frozen.

"I've got to go." I murmured before running out the door. I didn't make it to the river before Jasper, Emmett and Alice stopped me.

"Bella! don't be stupid. of course he's happy!" Alice said. she remembered the visions she had seen through-out the day. Edward's smile looked pure and genuine. I watched his smile and his laughter through-out her memories.

Jasper felt the love radiating off me and raised an eye-brow as though daring me to contradict what I was feeling.

"ah...there we are. he's coming." Alice said firmly. before blocking her mind. I looked at her pleadingly, wanting to see what happened.

"no other teenage girl sees their parents reactions to their boyfriend early. why should you be any different?" she challenged. I laughed at her slightly.

"come on kid. back inside." Emmett said. I snorted at the nickname. I was decades older.

"won't Rose be mad at you Em?" I asked, looking up at him as we walked back.

"yeah. but you deserve this. you were right. the whole family deserves this. she'll get over it." he said, confidently, though his thoughts weren't sure.

"ESMEEEE!" Alice yelled as soon as we were inside. it was unnecessary, she hadn't moved. "he's coming." she announced. I heard a hiss upstairs and ignored it. I could feel my elated mood returning. I wanted Edward to meet my family.

Esme gathered me in another hug and looked around the immaculate room.

"this place is so messy. I must clean it!" she declared before running for the closet where she kept her cleaning supplies.

Emmett ran up the stairs to his and Rosalie's room and carlisle left for his office. only Alice, Jasper and I still stood in the room. Jasper sniffed slightly.

"you smell like him. take a shower." he said teasingly and turned to go.

"Jasper..." I called. he turned back. "tomorrow, when Edward comes here, could you not stand too close." I said quietly, not wanting to offend him.

his thoughts were not offended, merely understanding. "of course." he said before grabbing Alice's hand and running upstairs.

I ran to my room, looking around, it was unbelievably untidy. I groaned and began to toss my stranded clothes, shoes and others things into my large closet.

I stood back, satisfied that my room was clean and dived for my wardrobe.

dressed, I ran downstairs. I kissed Esme on the cheek and ran out into the forest.

arriving back at Edward's house, a pressure that I hadn't been aware of ,in my separation from him, lifted and I felt content.

he hadn't moved from where I left him. I sat in the chair by his desk watching him sleep, and listening to his voice as he mumbled. a light breeze from the window ruffled his hair and he smiled slightly at the chill. I watched the shadows of night leave his face and the sun shine through the open window.

after a few hours, Charlie Swan awoke and checked in on his sleeping son. I hid in the shadows as he peeked through the crack between the door. I heard the police cruiser pull away and sat back in the chair.

Edward's body no longer showed the signs of deep sleep and his heart rate quicken. I watched with curiosity. I had never stayed to see him wake before, I was usually sneaking out before he noticed.

he groaned and pulled the covers over his face, as though hoping for longer sleep. something seemed to click in his mind as he suddenly sat bolt upright, the covers falling off his face.

I giggled at the shocked look on his face and he looked over at the noise. I couldn't help but tease him.

"you hair looks no different in the mornings than usual." I said, smiling widely. "but I love it."

"well, we're not all perfect." he said grinning. he got up and pulled me up into a hug. not seeing it coming, I froze automatically. he pulled away apprehensively. I looked up into his worried face and laughed. he relaxed and I rested my head on his chest.

"Charlie!" he cried pulling away and heading to the door.

"he left half an hour ago." I explained. he stopped and remembered something.

"I need some human time." he said.

"sure." I said, a little annoyed at the things that humans needed to d, as they cut my time with Edward.

he left the room quickly and I sat on his bed, waiting. I heard the running of a tap and the brush of a toothbrush. he soon returned and joined me on the bed, pulling me into his arms. I was glad that, though I felt like I was made of stone that wasn't actually the case. it was actually a weird concept. even with our strength and stone-like demeanor we were still the weight of an average human.

I heard his stomach growl and smirked at the red flush on his face.

"breakfast time for the human boy!" I sang and lept out of his lap. grabbing his hand and pulling him with me.

I almost skipped down the stairs and sat in one of the seats set around the table. I observed where he pulled containers from. I would have to learn this at some point.

he sat opposite me with a bowl full of what looked like pencil shavings.

"is that really any good?" I asked skeptical. it looked disgusting.

"not a mountain lion, but it'll do." he said, slyly. I scowled slightly at his jab to my diet. especially when it was so crucial to his life.

"sooo, what's happening today?" he looked up from his 'food'.

"what would you say to...meeting my family today?" I asked nervously. Alice had said he would be coming, but I was still anxious.

he didn't say anything, but his scent heightened with his fear.

"are you afraid yet?" I asked him. there was no use in him trying to deny it.

"yes." he murmured.

"nothing will happen." I assured him.

"I'm not afraid _of_ them." he said, I raised my eyebrows. "I'm afraid to lose you. if they don't like me..." he trailed off.

I could feel the stinging sensation behind my eyes that happened when my body wanted to cry. but this time, it was joyful tears that wouldn't fall.

"nothing will make you lose me." I whispered, loud enough for his ears to hear. "nothing can." I didn't think that there was a force powerful enough on this earth to manage it.

"will you meet Charlie then?" he changed the subject. I was taken aback.

"do you want me to meet him?" I didn't think that he would have wanted me to meet his father.

"of course. if you're going to be here a lot he needs a reason." he shrugged.

"will I be here a lot then?" he looked at me with a curious expression on his face.

"were you not expecting to be?"

"I wasn't sure whether you'd want some-one like me around." I said, ignoring the hurt in my heart that the picture brought.

"some-one like you?"

"a monster." I stated simply. I knew what I was. Edward looked almost mad at this.

"Bella! you are NOT a monster. how many times will I have to tell you this!" anger and annoyance colored his voice. I walked around to him and he opened his arms for me. I sat on his lap lightly and rested my head on his shoulder.

"thank you." I murmured against his skin. his hands traced up and down my back.

"you changed your clothes." he said after a long time of silence.

"I went home to change at about 2o'clock." I said. "I didn't miss anything. the talking was earlier." I said, grinning at the memory of his words.

"what did I say?" he groaned.

"you said you loved me." I said, softly. he rested his head on top of mine.

"you should have known that already." he murmured.

"I love you." I had already told him while he was sleeping, but he needed to hear it now.

"as I love you." he muttered against my dark hair.

"are you finished?" I asked, gesturing to to his bowl.

"yep."

"get dressed then and we can go." I said, hopping off of his lap.

he left the kitchen and I placed his bowl on the side near the sink. if I tried to clean it I would end up smashing it.

I heard his bedroom door close and went to stand at the bottom of the stairs waiting for him.

he didn't see me until he almost hit me. he pulled away at the last moment. he was dressed in a blue button-down shirt and jeans. I smiled up at him.

"come on let's go meet the parents." he said in an over-enthusiastic voice.

I was overcome with emotion by the fact that he was doing this for me. he was 'braving' a family of vampires for me. the smile on my face became serious and I reached up on my toes to press my lips to his again.

this time, he stayed completely still, I was the one to loose control. not lost to my bloodlust. but by my lust, period.

I knotted my hands in his copper spikes and pressed myself as close to him as I could. but it wasn't close enough.

I suddenly became aware of the lack of motion from Edward's chest. he had stopped breathing. I quickly removed my lips and backed away. his eyes jerked open and I thankfully heard the air pass between his lips again

"my fault that time." I said, apologetically. "sorry."

he grabbed my hand.

"don't be sorry. never be sorry for something like that." he said. "now... are we going? I'm trying not to think about what I'm about to do so can we go?"

"so let me get this straight. you're worried, not by the fact that you're going to walk into a house full of vampires, but that said vampires won't approve of you. right?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"yes. that's right." he looked straight down at me.

"you're unbelievable." I said, shaking my head. "come on then. let's go."

I drove on the way to my house. it would have been impossible for Edward to find the turn-off.

I watched him as the large house came into view.

"that's your house?" he asked, incredulous. I wasn't sure if he realized that everyone in the house could hear him. I decided not to mention it.

"that's our home." I confirmed.

"wow." was all he said as he took in all three floors and the giant trees surrounding the house.

I parked in front of the house instead of the garage.

"do you like it?" I asked.

"like it? it's brilliant!" he said. I could hear Esme's satisfaction at his words.

as we walked up to the front door, I felt his lips press to the top of my head. I grabbed his hand, not sure whether it was him or me that needed the reassurance.

"ready?" I asked as we stopped outside the front door.

"sure." he said, sounding slightly nervous. I smiled and opened the door.


	18. A Houseful Of Vampires

I opened the door and pull Edward in ahead of me, hiding our entwined hands.

I saw his eyes widen as he took in the large, open room. whatever he expected this was obviously not it. he took in the window that was the opposite wall. his eyes scanned the room, before he saw the piano. he tensed slightly upon seeing Esme and Carlisle.

although Carlisle had seen Edward before, Esme had not. her thoughts were full of a mother's kindness.

_he's so handsome. he doesn't look scared at all. he agreed to come here? oh Bella that's so..._

her thoughts turned to gush as she took in the happy expressions on mine and Edward's faces.

"Carlisle, Esme, this is Edward." I said, feeling that introductions were needed.

"Edward. it's nice to see you again." Carlisle moved forward slowly, holding out his hand.

surprising me, Edward showed no sign of fear as he grasped Carlisle's hand in his. he had to let go of mine to do so though and I immediately missed the warmth.

"it's nice to see you again Dr Cullen." he said. Carlisle looked taken aback.

"...please...call me Carlisle." I beamed at Carlisle's acceptance.

_he's not bothered by the cold. well I guess that's not surprising after how close you were last night._

if I could blush I would have.

"Edward. I'm so happy to meet you!" Esme gushed as she took Edward's hand.

"hello Mrs Cullen." said Edward smiling down at her.

"never mind about 'Mrs Cullen' Esme, please." she said as she released Edward.

"Esme, then." he said.

Esme almost choked with happiness. I saved her having to speak through her 'tears'.

"where's Alice and Jasper?" I asked, knowing they would hear me.

I could hear Alice eavesdropping at the top of the stairs. her inky black hair appeared at the top and she ran down them. actually ran. as in vampire speed running. she stopped to a dead halt in front of me and Edward.

"hi Bella." she said grinning at me.

"hello again Edward."she said, before darting forward and hugging him around the waist.

he looked completely taken aback but there was no discomfort in his stance.

"hello Alice." he said. she looked up at him and smiled, not bothering to hide her teeth. he didn't even flinch.

"Bella's right." she said, stepping away.

"about what?" he asked, questioningly.

"you do smell nice." I hissed at her comment, not loud enough to reach Edward's ears.

_you know I'm only joking Bella so stop hissing. he's not bothered. or by the fact that I was that close to him. then again...after yesterday and last night..._

she smirked at me. I suppressed at groan. where they going to keep bringing this up? was there such a thing as privacy?

as she was 'talking' to me, Jasper had descended the stairs at a human pace unlike his excitable wife.

"hello Edward." he said in a quiet voice. he kept a few feet away from us all, standing behind Alice. I could feel him sending out waves of ease over every-one.

"hello Jasper." Edward sounded unperturbed by Jasper's distance, though it was a complete opposite of Alice's behavior.

I planned to ask Alice about Rosalie and Emmett. of course she saw my decision.

_Rosalie's staying in the garage. Emmett is definitely coming out. he and Jasper want to give Edward a 'talk'. he just won't be coming out until Rose has calmed down. _she explained.

I rolled my eyes and moaned internally. my brothers would probably scare Edward away with their 'talk'. Alice guessed my next question.

_they're going to make sure he doesn't hurt you. _she informed me. I again rolled my eyes.

"do you play?" Esme's voice jolted me out of my conversation with Alice. she was addressing Edward, motioning towards my piano.

"no. I'm not musical. is it yours?" he asked.

_Bella you didn't tell him? why?_ Esme demanded. I shrugged infinitesimally.

"no it's not mine. didn't Bella tell you she played?" she turned to look at me quizzically. Edward faced me raising his eyebrows.

"it didn't come up." I defended weakly.

"you were too busy showing me your 'super' abilities." Edward said teasingly.

"Bella? you weren't showing off were you?" Jasper asked, mockingly. I glared at him.

"you best not have been young lady. it's rude." Esme scolded me lightly, a slight smile evident on her face.

"not much." I said, laughing. Esme's smile grew wider at the sound.

"play for him." her face glowing with excitement.

_he should hear this part of you. play him that song. his song._

I was suddenly hit with nerves. Jasper raised an eyebrow at me.

_you're nervous? about what?!_

I chose to ignore him.

"whatever happened to showing off being rude?" I asked, dodging her request.

my attempt failed.

"every rule has it's exceptions." she sang. I sighed and walked over to the piano, instinctively taking hold of Edward's hand and pulling him with me.

were it possible, Esme's eyes would have misted over with joyous tears. the small gesture of Edward and I holding hands, was almost too much for her. I heard her and Alice whisper about it as I sat down.

I sighed and started to play. I didn't play Edward's song. instead my hands played Esme and Carlisle's song. Edward's eyes widened as he listened.

"you wrote this." he said. not a question. I nodded. "wow."

"do you like it? it's Esme's favorite."

"is there anything you can't do?" he asked incredulously. I laughed, my hand's not leaving the keys.

I heard my family leave the room to give us privacy. well almost. they were all eavesdropping from their various stations around the house. I chuckled slightly and continued to play.

I played through a bridge and changed the song into Edward's.

"who's song is this?" he asked, noticing the difference.

"yours." I said softly not taking my eyes off the black and white. I changed the subject before he could say anything.

"they like you." I stated. it was true, my family were so overjoyed by the fact that I had found some-one that they loved him.

"_they _like me." I heard the double meaning.

"Rosalie's difficult...but she'll come around." I said, hoping Rose wouldn't hear. if she did she would probably come storming in and begin to yell. "Emmett has no problem with you. he's calming down Rose." I explained. he seemed to relax slightly at this.

"but Jasper...?" I cut him off.

"Jasper, again, has nothing against you. I told you he was the newest to our way of life. it's more of a struggle for him. he kept his distance to keep you safe."

"Esme and Carlisle?" he wanted to know the reactions to his visit. there was no point really. even if they didn't approve there would be nothing that could keep me away from him.

"ecstatic." I told him truthfully. "they all are, really. I don't think Esme has ever had to hold back shrieking before. every time we touch she almost explodes with happiness." I smiled. my mother had never forgotten her mothering instincts. she was over-joyed at having another child to care for.

he remembered the last member of the family had hadn't yet mentioned.

"Alice...?"

"oh she loves you. she's using you as an excuse to say ' I told you so' at every opportunity." he joined in with my laughter. the song finished and I swung around to face him.

"thank you." he said simply, cupping my face in his hand. I closed my eyes and leaned into his palm. his arms encircled me and he rested his head on my hair.

_how can she do that?! I'm controlled...but not THAT controlled!_

Emmett's incredulous thoughts cut into my head. I opened my eyes and saw Emmett standing a few feet away from us.

"hey Emmett." I said, reluctantly pulling away from Edward. his cheeks flushed slightly.

"hey Bella. hi I'm Emmett." Emmett said cheerfully as he walked toward us.

"Edward." Edward said taking hold of Emmett's outstretched hand.

"Edward...do you mind if me and Jasper talk to you?" Emmett asked, seriously. "_privately _" he stressed the last word.

"Emmett that's really not necessary." I tried to save Edward from being frightened half to death.

"oh I think it is." Emmett insisted. I started to protest again but Edward stopped me.

"it's okay Bella. I'll come." he addressed Emmett and stood.

_don't worry Bella. we won't hurt him._

Emmett and Edward left the room and walked upstairs at a human pace.

"ALICE! ESME!" I called through the house. they appeared at my side immediately. "where are they?" I asked.

"mine and jazz's room." Alice told me. I ran up the stairs to the last door on the first floor. Alice and Esme followed me. we could hear everything perfectly.

"so Edward. Edward, Edward, Edward." Emmett was saying. "I assume you know why you're here." he was acting as though he was in a bad cop movie.

"Emmett don't be an idiot." Jasper told him, snickering. "Edward, what we really want to talk to you about is Bella."

seriousness had never been Emmett's forte but he managed it now.

"Bella's been alone for far too long. if you do anything that hurts her, me and Jasper will have no trouble with tracking down your sorry self." his voice grew dangerously low.

"you have nothing to worry about with my hurting Bella." Edward reassured them. "she is the most important thing to me. ever. I...love her."

Esme and Alice both gasped beside me. I had heard him say it before but he had admitted it to my brothers. a ridiculously large grin spread across my face.

inside Alice's room, Jasper and Emmett were lost for words. even their thoughts were blank.

Jasper was the first to regain the power of speech.

"...well...so long as nothing happens to her." he said. I rolled my eyes, hadn't they just heard what he said?

"Jasper, I think that she could easily beat me in a fight if anything happened between us." he chuckled.

Emmett's booming laughter echoed through the house.

"I like you Edward." he chortled. "you'll do fine."

the sound of footsteps made the three of us jump back. we ran to the stairs and hid in Jasper's study.

I heard Emmett and Jasper's footsteps fly down the stairs as they looked for their wives. Alice ran out after Jasper and Esme left to go to her gardening.

I left the room and found Edward walking out the room he had been abandoned in.

"do you want a tour of the house?" I asked, slipping my hand in his. he smiled and nodded.

"I hope they didn't terrorize you too much." I said.

"like you weren't listening." he teased. I grinned and began the 'tour'.

"you were in Alice and Jasper's room." I told him. "that's Emmett and Rose's room. Jasper's study. bathroom." I said, indicating the various doors as I named them.

I was about to lead him upstairs when he stopped. I looked to what had drawn his eyes and chuckled.

"it _is _rather ironic." I admitted. hanging on the wall was a large wooden cross. "it's Carlisle's."

"why does he have it?" Edward asked, curiously.

"for the memories. it hung in the church where his father preached in england. time wasn't dated as carefully then so he's not sure about the year, but it was around the time of Cromwell." I explained.

"how old is Carlisle?" he asked.

well if he could handle the rest of it...

"he just turned 367." I told him simply. "come on I'll show you." I said, leading him up the stairs.

I knocked on Carlisle's door. he had heard me coming from the stairs but waited for me to knock, for Edward's sake, before calling me in.

I saw Edward take in the large room with amazement. two of the walls were covered in book shelves, another was the large window covering the wall and the last covered in paintings and photos.

"hello Bella, Edward. do you need anything?" Carlisle asked putting away the book he was reading.

"just showing Edward our history. or rather yours." I explained pulling Edward over to the wall of paintings.

"where were you planning to start?" he asked, giving me permission to tell his story.

"the waggoner." I said, pointing to a small black and white painting depicting the London of Carlisle's youth.

"I've got to go into the hospital. will you be okay to tell the story?" Carlisle walked over to us silently.

"yes. I know it by now." I said grinning.

_Alice had a vision. _Carlisle's mental voice told me urgently _ we'll be having some visitors sometime during the next couple of weeks and they're not 'vegetarian'. will you be telling Edward?_

I stiffened as he told me this and nodded. I glanced over to Edward. he was just turning his head away. had he noticed our silent conversation?

Carlisle left the room and I turned back to Edward.

"Carlisle's father preached in the vicarage. he also led hunting parties. for mythical creatures. were-wolves...and vampires. he wasn't very good and a lot of innocent people were murdered. when the old priest grew to be too old to lead the searches, he passed the job to his oldest son. Carlisle. Carlisle was not as hasty as his father and very few people were caught. however the ones he did find were actually the creatures he sought. no innocents were killed."

I looked away from the painting to see Edward watching me, listening intently. I continued talking.

"one night he found a coven of vampires hiding in the sewers of London. the villagers gathered together weapons. pitch-forks and torches, as cliché as that sounds. they stumbled across the coven and the vampires ran. Carlisle and a few others chased after them. one of them caught their scent and attacked. the vampire bit into Carlisle, about to kill him, when another of the men caught their hand on the pitchfork. driven crazy by the fresh blood, the vampire took the bleeding man and left Carlisle, dying in the street. Carlisle knew that if he was found he would be killed so he hid. he hid in an abandoned cellar. some-how he managed to stay quiet through the agony."

"when he awoke, he knew what he had become. he loathed himself. he detested himself so much he attempted to kill himself...but we can't be killed easily." I continued before Edward could ask how.

"in the end he tried to starve himself. how he had managed to go so long without blood was astonishing. the urge is almost uncontrollable. he grew weak. he hid from civilization to resist temptation. then one night he smelt blood and attacked. he attacked a heard of deer and realized that there could be another way to live."

"in his human life he had wanted to learn medicine. and now he had all of eternity to study. he studied during the night and planned in the day. he swam to France-"

"HE WHAT?!" Edward cut across me. I smiled at the look of shock on his face.

"it's not uncommon Edward. people swim the channel all the time." I reminded him. he. Edward looked a little abashed and a pink taint appeared on his cheeks.

"it just sounded weird when you said it like that." he said smiling sheepishly. "sorry no more interrupting." he mimed zipping his lips and I chuckled slightly, but prepared myself to part with another piece of information about us.

"-swam to France because technically we have no need to breathe. no." I said covering my hand over Edward's mouth seeing he was about to interrupt. "you said no more interruptions." I repeated his words to him. he scowled slightly, looking me in the eye until I removed my hand.

"you don't need to breathe?" he asked, incredulously.

"no. but the feeling is uncomfortable. the sense helps to identify danger and without it we feel...unprotected." I explained and continued with the story.

"once in France, he studied night and day. he found solace in his medicine, in saving lives. he said it made up for what he was. it took him 200 years before he could resist the call of blood." I still couldn't comprehend how he managed this. his restraint was impressive. I was only just beginning to realize his struggle.

"he eventually moved to Italy. he discovered another coven living there. this coven was a lot more sophisticated than the one he found living in London sewers." I stopped.

I didn't want to bring up the Volturi and what they meant to Edward. humans had no right to know about our world. if they found out about Edward's knowledge of us, they would murder him. or ask me to change him. either way ended in the loss of Edward's soul. despite my families ideas I remained convinced that we had no soul.

I pointed to the largest painting on the wall. it was encased in a golden frame and painted with an intricate delicacy. it depicted a mass of people in a scene of chaos. above the destruction, a quartet of men stood in a balcony. even with the small portraits, their beauty was impossible to miss.

"Solimena was inspired by Carlisle and his friends. Aro, Caius and Marcus." I pointed to the two black haired men and the white haired one. "that's Carlisle." I added pointing to the last man in the painting. "the 'nighttime patrons of the arts'" I quoted, remembering Carlisle's description of them.

"what's happened to them?" Edward asked, drawing me out of my thoughts.

"nothing. they're still there. as they have been for many millennia and and will be for many millennia to come. they tried to return Carlisle to his normal diet and he tried to persuade them to see his perspective on animal blood. both to no avail. in the end he left, searching for other's who shared his idea's."

"as the years progressed, monster's became the stuff of nightmares and he found it easier to blend in with humans. well, not completely looking like what we look like, but he was able to interact easy enough. but he soon grew lonely and wanted a companion. he believed he had no chance at love so he wanted a child. a daughter. he found me and decided to change me. as I said, I was alone and my life was over. he saved me."

I finished my story and found Edward watching me with a tender look in his eyes.

"I'm glad he did." he said softly, a small smile playing on his lips.

"well I've told you the rest of the story already." I said and slipped my hand back into his. he held the door open for me as we walked out of the study.

"have you always stayed with Carlisle?" he asked, casually.

I froze outside the door. he would always ask the questions that I hated to answer. he noticed my hesitation.

"what is it?" he asked, concern in his voice.

"I've stayed with Carlisle _almost _always." I muttered quietly. he heard.

"almost?"

I sighed. this would surely send him running.

"I...had a rebellion period...ten years after my re-birth. I began to resent Carlisle for curbing my diet. I...left. to find my...natural food."

I heard muttering from around the rest of the house. they were shocked that I was revealing this about my past.

"I returned once I began to see the monster in my eyes. Carlisle and Esme welcomed me back with open arms. it was more than I ever deserved." I opened my door and walked in.

he was silent as he walked in. I turned to look at him. the look on his face was difficult to fathom.

"I keep waiting for it." I told him. he looked at me quizzically. "for the time when I will tell you something that will scare you or drive you away from me. and I'll never see you again. I won't stop you Edward...if you wish to run. I want it for your safety. but at the same time I want you to stay." I looked at the floor. a hand grabbed my wrist. Edward pulled me closer to him and ducked his head. our lips brushed gently. we both stayed perfectly still. he pulled away.

"I'm not running anywhere." he told me. I smiled at him. I thought my dead heart would burst.

"and besides..." a mischievous smile crossed his face. "...you're not as scary as you think you are." he said.

I stepped back, raising my eyebrows.

"oh really?" I asked sarcastically. I jumped away and ran behind him before he noticed I was gone. he spun around when he heard me close the door. I fell forward into a crouch, letting a playful growl rip from my mouth.

_Bella? why are you growling? what's happened? don't hurt him!_

Esme's thought's were full of concern for us both. I heard her call Alice to check I was in control. I ignored their worries and smiled deviously at Edward.

a flash glinted through his eyes as he backed away.

"you wouldn't." he said, looking worried.

I was too quick for him to see me leap at him. I grabbed him around the waist and turned him so I wouldn't slam into him. I hit the sofa and it moved back into the wall. my family heard it from around the house and listened to hear what was going on.

I chuckled as Edward tried to escape the cage my arms had become.

"come on Edward...you don't mind me being this close do you?" I teased him. he just looked at me skeptically. "now do you have anything to say?" I asked innocently. he chuckled, shaking his head.

"just how absolutely terrifying you are?" he said his voice flowing with sarcasm.

"good. glad that we understand each other." I said before releasing him. he pulled me onto his lap and I curled my arms round his neck, resting my head in his shoulder.

_Bella. we're coming in. me and Jasper that is. _I heard Alice 'tell' me through the closed door.

"sure come in." I called and the door swung open. Edward's scent intensified as he blushed and a small burn coursed my throat. it was weaker than it had been, I had become desensitized.

Alice bounded in and sat in the middle of the floor looking at us with joyful eyes.

_aw. you two look so cute together. I could see how much you love each other even if I hadn't already 'seen' you._

she burbled on in her thoughts. luckily her voice was not as garbled.

"storm tonight." she said. "you in?"

"storm?" Edward asked, confused.

"baseball." Jasper called from his position by the door. "we have to wait for thunder. Emmett's in. he says he'll beat us this time." he chuckled and I joined in. Emmett said this every time. me, Alice and Jasper always teamed together and 'manipulated' the game slightly. we won almost every time.

I was about to agree when I glanced over to Edward. I wasn't eager to leave Edward, especially when Alice had seen about the visitors.

Alice saw me hesitate. "of course Edward is invited." she said. _he'll be safer with us._

I looked to Edward excitedly.

"do you want to come?" I asked looking at him hopefully.

"where is it?" he asked, apprehensively.

"there's a clearing we go to. it had enough space and is far away enough from the public eye." Alice informed him, bouncing up and down on the floor. she had seen his decision.

"sure." he said and she jumped up.

"come on Jazz let's see if the other's will play." she announced as an unsubtle way to leave me and Edward alone.

"yeah like you don't already know." he said dryly. grinning at his excitable wife as she dashed by him. "nice to meet you Edward." he said, before following her out the door.

"so...we're playing baseball." Edward made it sound like a question.

"no. you will be watching. we will be playing." I corrected him. he looked slightly relieved at this. I remembered his un-coordination in gym class. if he wasn't all that good compared to humans. compared to vampires...

well I guess it was a good thing he wasn't playing. I replaced my head on his shoulders and breathed in his scent. as masochistic as it sounds...behind the burning, the smell soothed me.

"vampires play baseball?" he asked, twirling a lock of my hair round his finger.

"it is the American pastime." I said in mock solemnity.

**okay couldn't resist putting in that last line. did you think this was okay? I know I repeated a lot from the book but I did change it. sort of. any way...please review. I love to read them.**

**hattii x **


	19. Baseball

I dropped Edward off at his house as soon as the sun had started to slip behind the clouds. I drew his truck to shuddering stop on the drive-way.

I was about to walk with him inside when some unwelcome thoughts caught my ear.

_I've let this go on long enough! I need to tell- oh there's Edward! NO! one's with him! what should I..._

I looked over and saw Harry Clearwater standing underneath Edward's porch. his daughter was at his side. I stiffened. they had come to warn Charlie. did the treaty mean nothing to their tribe?

Edward hadn't spotted the two figures hiding from the rain. however, he had noticed me freeze.

"what's wrong?" he asked, taking my hand. I nodded over to the porch. he then saw the Clearwater's.

"this is just crossing the line." I hissed through clenched teeth. "they came to tell Charlie." I told him, looking up at him. his eyes widened.

"let me handle it." he said, his voice calm and his hand rubbing soothing circles into my own.

I wasn't sure whether I would be able to keep my temper if I actually had to talk to them. especially when I had to hear Leah's love sick thoughts and Harry's threatening ones.

"okay. that would be better." I said, reassuring myself as well as Edward. "but be careful what you say. the girl has no idea what this is all about." I warned him.

"you'll come back later then?" he asked me, eagerly.

"of course." I said. "I have to meet your dad before tonight." I reminded him. he grinned at me. he leaned across and pressed his lips to mine. I held still again and closed my eyes. I was getting better at controlling myself. he pulled away after a few seconds.

_what is that monster doing to him?! this wasn't anything described in the treaty!_

I heard Harry's outraged thoughts and scowled slightly. I paid no attention to Leah's. she was bound to not take this well.

"see you later." I said, opening the door. I got out into the slight drizzle. I was on the side closest to Edward's front porch and the old man stepped back as I got out the car.

I laughed, throwing my head back, at his foolish precautions. a single step away would never hold me off. ignoring the ferocious glares I was receiving I ran across Charlie's lawn and into the forest. to them I would have just disappeared.

I was annoyed with the Clearwater's. I had hoped to spend the hours before the game with Edward but that was out of the question now. I ran faster, releasing my pent up frustration.

as I approached my home, I could hear all of my family waiting in the living room. I sighed. Alice would see if I tried to escape.

I opened the door and saw them all swivel their heads to see me. I rolled my eyes and sat in the empty armchair next to Jasper. he grinned at me, obviously affected by the happy mood that was returning to me.

"Bella...we're going to the baseball field near the mountains tonight." Carlisle informed me. "you can take Emmett's jeep to get you there. or as far as you can." I looked to Emmett questioningly. he never let anyone else drive his car, not even Rose. he just tossed me the keys and grinned.

"Alice?" Carlisle continued. "what time does the storm start?" he asked her. her eyes glazed and she became motionless.

"in three hours." she clarified. I then noticed that they were all wearing the baseball uniforms that Alice had got us last month. she saw me take them all in.

_your stuff is upstairs Bella. _she told me. I smiled to her. her eyes then glazed again, I didn't notice until too late and she began to block her thoughts.

"he's letting you meet his father?!" she cried. I winced at her loud voice slightly and nodded, ducking my head.

"it was his idea." I told her. "let me see." I said, looking up to her. she was singing sixties songs in her head. I groaned.

"is that all then?" I asked, standing, before Esme could ask about it.

"not all." Carlisle said. "have you told Edward about our visitors?" the concern in his voice was for the whole family, that now included Edward.

"not yet. I'll tell him tonight." I told him, before running to my room. as Alice had said my outfit was already laid out for me. I quickly changed and rejoined my family downstairs, grabbing a raincoat on the way down.

they looked at me curiously as I slid the raincoat on. I simply shrugged at them.

"need to play the part right." I said before retaking my seat. Alice was still singing those wretched songs. she stuck her tongue out at me and I frowned. she was enjoying this.

_this isn't safe. I still don't like it. and he's won over everyone else in this family. am I the only one who can see what a danger he could be? _

Rosalie's venomous thoughts floated into my head. I turned to her and glared

"you could keep your thoughts to yourself Rosalie." I spat at her.

"you don't have to listen." she retorted to me. I scoffed at her. like I had a choice.

"Rose babe. you need to calm down." Emmett tried to soothe his wrathful wife. "it's fine. Edward's a good kid." I beamed. he had got Emmett's approval then.

Rosalie just stood off his lap and stormed out to the garage to, undoubtedly, work on her car.

"what did I say?" Emmett asked, looking hurt.

"nothing Em." I reassured him. "she's angry at me, not you." he relaxed somewhat, deciding to let her fume in peace, and moved onto a more cheerful subject.

"are we playing the same teams?" he asked, hopefully. each time he hoped that one of either, me, Jazz or Alice would take pity on him and play with him.

"yes Emmett. we are." Jasper told him, snickering at Emmett's fallen expression.

"I'll play referee." Esme volunteered. "Edward can help me." she said, glowing at the chance to talk some more with her 'newest son'.

I remembered what I had wanted to talk to Carlisle about.

"Carlisle," I started. he looked up expectantly. "when I was at Edward's house, there was someone there. two people off the La Push reservation. they were waiting for Edward...or rather, waiting for Charlie. to tell him about me. about us." I told him.

the look of outrage on Emmett's face was terrifying.

"DOES THE TREATY MEAN ANYTHING TO THOSE PEOPLE?!" he roared. "THEY ALREADY TOLD EDWARD, DO THEY HAVE TO TELL CHARLIE TOO?!" he was seriously angry. he had been there when the treaty was made and had disliked the dogs more than the rest of us. Alice and Jasper weren't with us the first time we had been here, but they still looked angry.

"calm Emmett." Carlisle said, looking at him as though he was worried Emmett was going to run down to La Push and murder all in sight, which he was perfectly permitted to do now. he turned to Alice. "do you see anything?" he asked, his usually calm and collected voice, panicked.

Alice snapped out of her trance and smiled slightly.

"Edward talked him out of it." she said happily. everyone visibly relaxed and sank back into their seats.

I could still smell Edward throughout the house. he had become so integrated with my life that there was almost no part he hadn't touched.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

we sat there in almost silence until Alice suddenly jumped up and pulled me to my feet.

"time for _you _to go!" she sang. I was suddenly very nervous. what if chief swan didn't like me?

I felt a wave of peace wash over me and smiled at Jasper gratefully. he nodded at me smiling and I ran out the back door towards the garage.

ignoring Rosalie, I jumped into the massive monster jeep. I didn't bother with the seatbelt. I pressed down the pedal and the jeep shot out the garage.

I arrived at Edward's house listening to Charlie Swan's thoughts.

_there's a girl? a Cullen girl? he's too young. isn't he? but he looks happy. and he's going to play baseball. he would never normally look forward to that...what was that! I bet that's her car. which one is Bella? it's not the blonde one is it? she looks...there's something off about her._

I smiled. Charlie may not be as perceptive as his son, but he did get some things right.

I jumped out the jeep into the rain, pulling up my hood. I stopped nervously by the door and rang the bell.

I heard two chairs scrape the wooden floor and footsteps grow louder. the door swung open, revealing Chief Swan standing there. his eyes were slightly narrowed and I felt bizarrely uneasy under his scrutinizing gaze.

"hello Chief Swan. I'm Bella Cullen." I said, holding out my hand to him. I was wearing baseball gloves, hoping he wouldn't sense the cold through them. thankfully he took my hand and noticed nothing different about it.

"come in Bella. and please call me Charlie." he told me his face still smiling.

I stepped through the door and saw Edward standing by the door to the kitchen. I smiled upon seeing him, receiving a large one in return.

"Bella, let me take your jacket." Charlie told me. I slid my arms out of it and handed it over to him. he gestured to the living room and I walked through, getting the feeling I was about to be interrogated.

I sat in the armchair leaving Edward standing and Charlie sitting opposite me in the sofa. I looked around the room. I hadn't been in here yet.

there were more photos dotted about the room, most showed Edward at young ages. there was a small T.V in the corner of the room and the furniture was mismatched. but it fit. I loved it.

"Bella." Charlie started. "I take it you and your family are taking my son to play baseball." he seemed amused by this. I smiled up at him.

"yes sir. that's the idea." I said, leaving out the fact that Edward wouldn't be playing.

_she's very polite. never had any trouble with her or any of the others. she seems nice enough. very good-looking. but then again they all are._

I smiled at Charlie's thoughts. he seemed to approve of me.

"how old are you Bella?" he asked me suddenly.

"seventeen sir." I said reflexively. out of the corner of my eye I saw Edward hold back laughter.

"so you're in Edward's year then?" he asked.

"yes sir. we sit together in biology." I told him, wondering where these questions were going, that is if they were going anywhere.

_well that got rid of the next question...I think that's it!_

I breathed a sigh of relief as he finished his questions.

"are we going the Bella?" Edward asked. I got up.

"it was nice to meet you Chief Swan." I said smiling as Edward led me out the room. I tugged on my raincoat and opened the door.

Edward and Charlie saw the large jeep and stopped by the door, their eyes wide.

"that's yours?" Charlie asked. I shook my head, amused by their shock.

"no it's my brothers. my car's broken down so he lent me his." I lied swiftly.

"wear your seat belts!" Charlie called as we walked out into the pouring rain. I nodded, berating myself for forgetting this. I would have to remember this sort of stuff.

I jumped in the large jeep with no difficulty and looked over to see Edward preparing to jump for it. I sighed and took a hold of his wrists, pulling him in.

he looked utterly perplexed by the harness that was attached to his seat. I leaned across to help him. I was thankful that the rain was pouring buckets from the sky, making it impossible for Charlie to see the way I let my hands linger on his son.

"what's this for?" Edward asked once I was done., gesturing to the harness.

"it's an off-roading harness." I explained, backing up"the forest isn't the safest place to drive a car."

"aren't you going to wear one?" he asked. I rolled my eyes and continued talking.

"we're going to drive as far as we can and then run to the field." I told him.

"we're going to run again?" he asked, sounding quite sick. I looked at him, he looked almost frightened.

"yes it's the only way to get there." I said.

I was lucky that vampire sight is so sharp. even with the torrential rain I could see through it perfectly. if I couldn't I would have crashed the minute I pulled out of Charlie's driveway.

"you won't get hurt." I assured him. like I would let anything like that happen to him.

"I'm going to get sick." he said, worriedly.

it upset me somewhat that something that I loved so much, Edward hated.

"close your eyes." I advised him. "it'll help when we run."

soon the road changed to the uneven forest floor and Edward grew unable to talk as he jerked up and down repeatedly. I had to hold back giggles as he bounced, reminding me of Alice when she was excited.

I stopped the car as I reached the dead end. the rain didn't hit this far out of town so the area was dry. I got out and ran to the other side for Edward. I opened the door.

"you know, maybe I'll stay here. enjoy the view." he said. I looked around. there was only trees.

"what view?" I said, chuckling and undid his harness. he jumped out and landed in front of me. I closed the door.

"where's the courage gone? you were amazing today." I asked him.

"your family, I can handle. running, not so much." he said, looking away.

"you need to sort out your priorities." I said, laughing. he could walk into a houseful of vampires and be absolutely fine, but a bit of speed...

maybe I could _persuade _him. I had lived with Ariana for a few years. she and her coven were the original succubus. I had picked up a few things for getting my own way.

I leaned in close to him and pressed my lips to his pulse point. he immediately froze. I smirked against his throat, not breathing.

"are you sure you don't want to run? what is there to be afraid of?" I said, softly. I felt him gulp.

"um...trees...getting sick...dying." he said, disjointedly.

I stood on the balls of my feet and kissed the hollow beneath his ear, breathing out the alluring scent of my venom.

"are you sure? do you think I would hit a tree?" I murmured against his skin.

"um...no-" he started.

"do you think I would let you die?" I muttered, moving my lips to his cheek, next to his lips

"no." he sighed, admitting defeat. I smirked again and moved my lips to rest just over his, not yet touching. he had unconsciously lent his head down, so I had easier access.

"you see..nothing to be afraid of." I whispered.

the urge to press my lips to his over-powered me and I leaned in the last centimeter.

again, his reaction startled me. his arm, once again, wrapped around my waist and his hand went to my hair. I felt his body pressed against me and didn't break the kiss. I had no desire to.

I heard his heart hammer so quickly it blurred into one never ending beat. I could feel it against my chest. I let my lips part and it clicked what I was doing. I broke his hold easily and jumped back.

he lent against the side of the jeep, to hold his balance.

I instantly started yelling at myself, too low and fast for Edward's ears to register.

how could I have been so careless? How stupid could I be? had I really let myself do that?

"I'm...sorry." Edward muttered. SORRY! HE was SORRY! he was apologizing for my stupidity.

"let's just go and find the other. before I do something stupid." I said quickly, grabbing his wrist and pulling him onto my back.

"close your eyes." I murmured, softly and set off.

as I ran I tried to put the anger I was feeling away. it wouldn't be fair on Jasper if I turned up feeling like that. and I wanted this game to be enjoyable.

I gradually, left the anger behind and focused on the running. my ponytail flew out behind me through my cap and I felt the wind caress my face.

I stopped a few meters short of the clearing, still in the woods. if Edward fell again, he could do it without the embarrassment of my entire family watching him.

he didn't move.

"Edward, we've stopped." I said.

he must have opened his eyes, because the next moment he slid of my back. I looked around and saw he was indeed on the floor. the startled look on his face was hilarious. I tried to hold in my laughter but I couldn't.

I burst out laughing, louder than I had ever done before. it echoed back to me from the woods.

Edward stood up and looked at me disgruntled. his expression only made me laugh harder.

"don't be angry." I said as soon as my laughter subsided.

"oh. so you're the only one who's allowed to be angry." he said.

I immediately sobered up.

"I wasn't angry with you." I said, quietly. he just raised his eyebrows.

"you were angry." he said, sadness in his eyes. my heart broke at the sight.

"not with _you. _" I stressed the last word. "I could never be angry with you. I was mad at myself. the way I keep placing your life in danger over and over. if I only wasn't so-" I stopped when Edward placed a warm hand over my mouth.

"just don't. please." he said, softly. I lifted my hand and removed his, placing a kiss to his palm.

"I love you. that's the only excuse I have for doing this. it's a pathetic excuse. but it's the truth." I said, looking into his deep eyes, willing him to understand the words as much I meant them. "stay still." I said, before placing a chaste kiss on his lips. neither of us moved and he stayed alive.

"come on." I said, taking his hand and pulling him through the trees to the large clearing.

Alice was running a countdown through her head towards the storm. her and Jasper were at the far end of the field throwing multiple balls to each other, keeping their distance so Jasper could control himself.

Esme, Emmett and Rosalie sat on a large rock at the side of the pitch. I saw Esme's eyes zero in on mine and Edward's clasped hands and she jumped up to join us. Emmett and Rosalie stood too, but Rose ran in the opposite direction to Alice and Jasper. Emmett sighed and ran to us.

_why can't she be happy and have some fun? we're all a family. we should act like it._

I heard Emmett's dismayed thoughts as he ran towards us.

"was that you laughing earlier Bella?" Esme's kind voice asked. I grinned. _I've never heard you laugh like that before. _I nodded.

"you don't normally laugh like that kid." Emmett contributed._ you laugh quietly. that one hurt my ears. _he complained. I laughed at him.

"you're refereeing with me Edward." Esme said, kindly.

at that point Alice left her game with Jasper and ran to us. I saw Edward jump a little at her sudden presence.

"it's time."she said, ominously. as she said it a rumble of thunder crossed the sky.

her and Emmett took off running to the other side of the field. I turned to Edward.

"you ready." I asked excitedly.

"go. play." he said smiling. I squeezed his hand and ran after my brother and sister. I overtook them with ease.

_show-off. _"aren't you going to babysit your boyfriend?" Emmett mocked me. I stuck my tongue out at him.

"he may distract your ability to play." he continued his teasing.

"is that your excuse for your pitiful game then? Rosalie distracts you?" I laughed at the annoyed look on his face. we always did this to each other before the games.

"no! your bad playing distracts me. I laugh too much." he looked triumphant, as though he had won.

I growled at him and crouched to pounce at him.

_Bella do you want to be doing that with Edward here? _I heard Carlisle warn me. I straightened up and glanced over to where Edward and Esme sat.

"Esme has him pretty much distracted." I said, gesturing to them.

"what are they talking about? I can't hear from here." Alice complained. I laughed at her irritated face.

I listened in to Esme's thoughts and was immensely surprised.

"she's telling him her story. how she joined us." I said. their faces were shocked. in 'vampire etiquette', I guess you could call it, telling another your story was a very huge honor and acceptance. I beamed at this.

"game time." Alice called. me and Jasper ran out into the outfield as Alice took her place at the pitchers mound.

Carlisle was up first. Alice used speed, rather than the intimidating wind-up which Emmett preferred. ball hit bat with a loud crack. I watched the ball fly through the forest and ran after it, quickly over taking it. I jumped up and rose above the trees catching it. it hit my hand with another loud crack and I fell back to the earth, landing on a tall branch. I lept from tree to tree seeing the clearing again. I reached the edge of the trees and held the ball above my head jumping down, grinning.

"OUT!" Esme called. I threw the ball back to Alice and retook my place.

the innings continued quickly. our team were winning by a large margin when we swapped. I ran back to Esme and Edward while waiting for my turn.

"enjoying the game?" I asked, excited with the game.

"somethings for sure. you lot have ruined baseball for me." he said, laughing.

"BELLA! YOUR TURN!" Alice yelled across the field. I ran back and took my place at home-base. I swung the bat and made a satisfying crack. I ran around the bases, making a home run as Rosalie ran after the ball. she glared at me as I high-fived Jasper.

the rest of the game flew by. despite what I had told Emmett I was constantly distracted by Edward the whole time.

Alice was about to pitch again when she froze and her eyes glazed over. I snapped up my head to watch her vision.

_three people drop bags to the ground. looking up the sky is rolling with thunder and flashing with lightening. they look to each other. there are three pairs of glowing crimson eyes. one of the men motions and they fall into formation. the flame-haired woman and the relatively plain man fall into a triangle arrangement behind the first man. a loud crack sounds not made by lightening. they run towards the sound and enter a field with eight figures playing baseball._

without another thought in my head, I ran to Edward. those were the visitors Alice had anticipated. but the timing had been wrong. they were coming now. and Edward was here. and they weren't vegetarian.

"Alice? Alice? what's happened? what did you see?" Jasper was asking his wife frantically. she had still not unfrozen.

"I...got it...wrong. they're here." she said, unfocused.

she looked over to where I was standing in front of Edward.

"Edward." she said almost crying.

Carlisle had realized what had happened.

"how soon?" he asked panicked. "Alice how close are they? Bella can you hear them?" I listened frantically.

_-playing a game? that sounds so...human. I wonder if we could join. must have been centuries since I 'played'. the hunts are too easy to play with._

_-if they attack, the best route would be to run east, circle back and grab our bags. there won't be many. the most I've ever heard of is the five scents we caught in Denali. _

_-why on earth would he want me to do this? then again, James knows best. I wonder would he actually obey me? or is it just an act?_

"five minutes. they want to join our game." I said.

"can you make it?" Carlisle asked. _would it work if you ran?  
_

I shook my head, my body going cold. I looked to Edward, remembering I hadn't told him about the visitors.

"what's going on Bella?" he asked, worried. the rest looked around as they realized he didn't know.

"more of our kind. they're running to join us. and, Edward, they aren't like us. they hunt humans. Edward I'm so sorry. I should have never exposed you like this." I said quickly, my body threatening to shake with sobs.

he saw me about to break down and wrapped his arms around me. I lent into him and turned my head to talk to my family.

"what do we do?" I asked.

"how many are there?" Emmett asked Alice. _we could fight them off. we're the largest coven ever, aside from the Volturi. others usually travel alone or in mates. three is the most._

"three." Alice answered him. _three is dangerous enough._

"three? let them come!" he said, flexing his muscles, confidently. _we can handle three. _

"continue the game." Carlisle's word was final _they'll follow the scent if we run. _

"I'll call the game now Esme." I said. she nodded and took up my position.

I separated from Edward and stood at his side. I paid no attention to the game. my eyes searched the forest side that I knew they would arrive from.

the hits stayed within the clearing. no-one left the field. no one played properly any more. every one was scanning the forest and tasting the air for the new scents.

_Bella? are they thirsty? please god let them have hunted._

I shook my head to Esme's question. she breathed a sigh of relief and returned to watching.

I saw Edward looking at me questioningly. I sighed, was there nothing he didn't see?

"she asked if they're thirsty. and no they're not." I answered his unspoken question.

I looked into his eyes. they were so innocent and free of horror. what had I done to him? how could I do this to him? how could I have assumed I was the only threat to him? of course others would have turned up at some point. I brought him into my world, into the danger that surrounded us. after all this he would leave. he would finally realize the dangers and resent me for placing him in them. he would leave me.

and so I clung to Edward, knowing my time with him would be over soon.

the sound of their minds grew closer and closer. they were almost in hearing range. I wanted nothing more than to grab Edward and run. to get him away from the danger. I felt useless just standing here.

I heard the pounding of feet against the soft ground and the wind their running was creating. I stepped in front of Edward sightly, shielding him. I stopped breathing. the fear and panic overwhelmed me as I stood waiting for them.

I froze as the wind ceased. Alice and Esme retreated until they were standing a few yards ahead of me and Edward. Carlisle, Jasper and Emmett stood ahead of them.

I watched as they stepped through the last of the trees.


	20. And The Hunt Begins

**okay - ive redone this chapter - added more and edited it.. hope u like**

my breath caught in my throat as I watched the three figures break through the trees.

they walked towards us at a human pace, with a walk that looked constantly on the verge of falling into a hunting crouch. their red eyes were wide and darted around constantly.

what my eyes were drawn to was the man at the back. he was amazingly plain. he did not possess the beauty that was in the other's faces. he still had the same features, the white skin, the unnerving crimson eyes but he was not stunningly beautiful. he would have less trouble than we did when blending in with humans

_Laurent will act as leader. there's no point in placing myself in a dangerous position. have they hunted recently. it wouldn't help if they are more aggressive than necessary._

his thoughts deceived the formation they had fallen into. the rest of my family was under the false impression that the man at the front, Laurent, was the leader of this coven.

the cat-like woman had shocking hair as red as her eyes. the debris of the forest was weaved in it and she looked crazed with her eyes wide as she took in the size of our family.

the three of them closed together and came to a halt a few yards away from us.

the woman's eyes scanned us all. they rested on Edward for a second longer than the rest of us.

_is he like James? neither of them look like normal vampires. is it a thing with James' kind? is he one too?_

the plain man must be James. I was immensely glad that he was here. he helped to conceal Edward. but what did she mean by _his kind? _I was uneasy by the way she had said _his. _she had definitely not meant vampire.

"we thought we heard a game. would you take a few extra players." Laurent said, politely. his voice held the traces of a long lost french accent. "I am Laurent. this is James and Victoria." he said gesturing to the other two.

"I am Carlisle." Carlisle said. his voice was warm, but I knew it well enough to here the underlaying tone of hostility. he always hated violence, but if his family was threatened... "this is my family. Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Edward, Esme and Bella." he said pointing us out. "we were just finishing our game actually. we have a permanent home just outside of town. we can go there." he offered.

_Bella! when we leave, take Edward in the jeep and take him back to his home. stay there with him, we'll give a cover until they leave. _Carlisle's mind yelled to me.

Victoria and James exchanged glances at the word _permanent_. Laurent was the only one who managed to keep the surprise out of his face.

"that would be nice." he said. _permanent?! how do they manage that? there must be more differences between us than just the eyes._

"we have had no chance to clean up aside from rivers and streams." Victoria said. her voice was surprisingly childlike. "it would be nice to use a house for once."

"please, you would be welcome." Esme said, kindly. her thoughts were full of worry, betraying her calm voice.

"Emmett, Bella, Alice, Edward. take the jeep back to the house. we'll run there and lead the way." Carlisle said. _TAKE HIM HOME!_

I nodded and grabbed Edward's hand. Emmett and Alice turned away from the trio. there was some instinct inside me that was screaming DANGER! but I couldn't pinpoint what it was.

I heard Alice gasp. I turned to look at her. as I did so, the wind changed direction and blew Edward's scent across my face.

James' nostrils flared as the smell of human blood hit him. his companions froze, looking at Edward differently now. their penetrating glares could give a vampire chills.

_a new game. excellent. _

game? the reason for my terror was suddenly clear. Victoria had said _his kind. _he had used the word game rather than prey. if possible my fear rose. game. he was a tracker. a hunter at heart more than the rest of us. he lived for the hunt. I could see all his past conquests as they flew through his mind. he had never lost one. even in my own dark time, I had never killed with the savagery and ruthlessness that showed in his memories.

James fell forward into a hunting crouch, growling. his crimson irises trained in me and Edward. I reacted instinctively, seeing only a threat. I dropped into a defensive crouch in front of Edward, my eyes locking with James'. I let a feral snarl rip from my throat, baring my teeth.

everyone on the field froze. the monster inside of me growled again. no longer the playful growls that had left my lips when I was messing about with Edward. my family were getting chills by the way I was acting, almost animal-like. I was truly showing my darkness that I tried so hard to lock away. but I had to defend Edward.

James took a step forward and I slipped into an attacking stance, my eyes blazing with a searing intensity of anger I hadn't realized I was capable of.

_Bella! you need control! you can't ever lose it around Edward! think about what could happen!_

Alice's calming voice reached me, even when I was so far gone into my darkness.

a wave of calmness tried to reach me, but I brushed it off. I felt a hand on my shoulder and my anger reined in slightly, enough for me to control it. I didn't drop my posture,though. I didn't even move to thank Jasper. I couldn't. moving would leave a space open

"you brought a human? a snack?" I heard another threat ask. I snarled again, louder than before.

"he is with us." Carlisle said simply, his eyes flashing slightly.

_a few more moments. that's all we needed. we could have been safe. I can't see anything! there are too many decisions!_

Alice was frantic. she was searching the future desperately. but James was making his decisions as he went along.

"it appears, then, that we have much to learn about each other." I heard Laurent say, my gaze still not wavering from James'.

_she's protecting him like a mate, rather than her prey. how is that possible? he's human._

"indeed we do." Carlisle said evenly.

_they will protect him. I can see it in their eyes. a challenge!! _I growled at James' thoughts.

"we shall show you the way to our home." Esme said. the three nodded and let her, Carlisle, Jasper and Rosalie lead the way. James stood from his crouch and turned to leave.

Emmett and Alice stayed with me. I straightened from my crouch. Emmett stood as a barrier between me and James. I took Edward's hand.

"Edward let's go." I said through my teeth.

_the young girl speaks. his name's Edward? that would be useful. _James' thoughts still reached me .

I swung him onto my back and ran through the trees. my anger pushed me ahead of Emmett and Alice more than usual. my cap flew off my head as I ran, I couldn't care less for such a trivial thing. all I could care about was getting my Edward as far away as possible, as fast as possible. my rage and fear propelled me faster, making the forest blur into one long shot of green, even to my eyesight.

I arrived at the jeep and, without breaking my stride, I wrenched open the door, pulled Edward off my back and put him inside.

Emmett and Alice had caught up by now, their grim expressions the most serious I had ever seen them.

"Emmett strap him in." I hissed and pulled open the drivers door, jumping in. Alice sat in the passenger seat and Emmett climbed into the back with Edward, placing the harness around him.

the second they were all in, I gunned the engine and reversed away, hitting 70 in three seconds, hitting 90 in two more.

I let snarls fall from my mouth. I was too full of rage and terror to care. the rain still poured from the heavens and made a loud cover to my noises from Edward's ears.

"Bella calm down." Emmett's voice had taken on a dangerous tone. I simply snarled at him. he didn't know what I knew.

"Emmett he's a tracker! a tracker! he'll never stop!" I yelled in the silent car. "he'll never stop until he gets what he wants!" I couldn't look at Edward, knowing that I had brought this on him. I couldn't look into his eyes for doing this to him.

Alice looked to Edward with fear in her eyes. I hit the tarmac of the highway and continued driving, away from Forks.

"where are we going?" Edward asked, his fear heightening his scent. I gulped back the venom in my mouth and concentrated only on the bare stretch of road. I wouldn't bring more danger on him.

"we're leaving. leaving Forks. getting you far away." I said, almost wildly. I was kidnapping him. I felt incredibly guilty at this. but it was the only was to keep him safe.

"what? no! turn around! you have to take me home!" he yelled. "if you just take off with me. people will get suspicious of you all!" he tried to struggled out of the harness. he was worried about _us_ in a time like this, when his life was on the line!

"Emmett." I said. he got the message and held Edward's shoulders still. "it doesn't matter about us Edward! you just need to get away from here!" I was begging him to agree with me. to help me keep him safe.

"no! Charlie he'll call the F.B.I on you all. that's not going to happen over me." he said, struggling fruitlessly against Emmett's cage-like grip.

I sped the car up, letting the miles fly behind us.

"pull over Bella." Alice said, quietly. _we need to talk this over. we need to plan this out rather than go rushing in._

pull over? when there's a crazed tracker intent on finding Edward? no. I carried on driving, pressing harder on the pedal.

"do it Bella!" she said, more forcefully. I turned to look at her.

_stop! think this through. if we go running off, the tracker is going to realize that we won't go anywhere near forks and simply follow the road until he catches our scents_.

her topaz eyes were begging me to see sense.

_and there are other options._

"and what are they?" I asked, venomously.

_if he were not human, James would have no reason to track him. no need to hunt._

my temper peaked and I slammed my other foot down. the car jerked to a halt.

"THERE ARE NO MORE OPTIONS ALICE! RUN! THAT'S ALL WE'VE GOT!" I cried.

she didn't flinch.

_it'll happen at some point. change him now and it'll save him._

I looked at her pleadingly. couldn't she see why I loathed the idea of Edward coming into this existence? the fact that I would rip out his soul, just so that I'd never loose him? I couldn't do that to him. and what if, at some point, he realized that he wanted a family. I could never give him one. this fact had never hurt me before. before I loved no-one so there was no trouble. now the fact hit me hard. I couldn't take a life and a family away from him.

she seemed to see the despair in my eyes.

_fine. we run. but...just...wait. we need to think this through._

"thank you." I said, grateful. Emmett seemed completely taken aback by my sudden change of mood.

"we're leaving. tonight." I said simply. there was no argument.

"when?" Emmett asked.

"soon. they'll cross his scent in town quickly." Alice answered for me. "we need to get him out as soon as possible."

something seemed to click in Edward's brain. his hands began scrabbling at the seatbelt again, Emmett had let go of him as we stopped. he was having little success with the straps.

"my scent will lead to Charlie! he'll be in danger! I can't leave him!" he cried. I heard the fear in his voice at this, and my heart broke again.

"he's right Bella." Alice was barely concealing the fright in her voice. _if we let anything happen to his dad...he'll forgive you but the pain that'll he'll go through...would you want him to go through that?_

"how do you propose we do all this then Alice?" a dangerous tone edged my voice. there was no way that we could do all this.

she had no answer for me. a grim smile crossed my lips. I hated to be right about this.

"there are no more options." I repeated. "we have to run." I hated myself at these words.

"I can't leave Charlie." Edward was determined.

there was no way that I could answer him. I had to make him leave his father for his own safety. and he would be in pain for it, because of me. I closed my eyes against the onslaught of pain this fact brought.

Emmett had been silent throughout the whole time. he had been plotting ways to get out of this. he eventually looked up.

"we need to take him back to Forks." he said solemnly. _don't blow up. there is no other way._

"I can't." I said, my anguish leaking into my voice. they were underestimating James' talents.

"he won't get through all of us. he won't even be able to smell him, let alone touch him." he was confident of this.

"you don't see Em. once he decides on a hunt, he's unwavering from his prey. I saw it. he's never lost a hunt." my voice was strangled. they hadn't seen the run down I had seen in his mind. the images of all the mangled bodies before he drank from them.

"yet." _he WON'T get through us. _

the protectiveness he felt and the resoluteness of his decision was that of family. "we won't leave room for him to get through."

"Em, he'll wait." I was pleading with him to realize this.

"we can wait too." he said, releasing Edward's shoulders and crossing his arms across his broad chest.

"he'll have to be killed." I murmured, not sure if Edward heard me or not.

"that's an option." _Carlisle will be against it. but if he's threatening the family. we won't let you lose him. even if we have to take these measures. _

"I have an option." Edward said. I looked at him through the wind-mirror.

"oh?" I said, skeptically. I saw Alice's glare at my tone, but I was past caring.

"you take me back to Charlie's-" I didn't let him finish.

"what?" I hissed. he ignored me.

"-you take me back. I tell my dad that I have to go to phoenix to see my mum. we let the tracker hear us and run. the tracker follows us and leaves Charlie alone. then you can take me wherever you want to." he finished.

I stared at him in the mirror. we were silent, thinking this over. Emmett was the first to break the silence.

"that's...not a bad idea." he seemed to be growing more eager to this plan as he thought about it.

"that would work." Alice said, more cheerful, now that there was a decision. she could see further ahead.

_it will work. the tracker's going to be at his house in half an hour. we take 15 minutes to get there and the rest to convince Charlie he's leaving. the tracker will hear and leave Charlie alone. my vision fades after this. _she told me, coming out of a vision confirming it. I shook my head.

"there's too much danger. the tracker will be too close, what if something goes wrong?" I didn't want Edward anywhere near that sadistic creature.

"nothing will happen." Alice tried to convince me. "he won't attack now. too easy." she grimaced at the last fact. I knew it was true, he wanted a challenge.

"Bella, he won't touch Edward." Emmett said. seriousness radiated off of him.

"Bella. I can't leave Charlie." Edward's voice sounded so lost and scared.

I closed my eyes and lent against the headrest. he was making it difficult to do what I must to keep him safe.

I made up my mind.

"you are leaving tonight. if the tracker sees or not you are. we'll take you back, tell Charlie you're leaving. tell him anything that will work. pack the basics and run for your truck. you get 15 minutes from when you cross the door." I said. Alice and Emmett silently agreed and I threw the engine into gear. I pressed my foot to the gas so hard I was surprised it didn't snap.

the car was silent. I realized they were waiting for me to talk.

"once he's in the truck, I'll take him and run north. you two will take the jeep and go home. warn Carlisle."

"no way." Emmett immediately disagreed. "I'm staying with you."

"Emmett, be serious. I have no idea how long we'll be gone." I reminded him. "what about Rose?" he winced slightly.

_never mind. she should know how important this is. she'll understand. and anyway you'll need more than yourself if they catch up with you._

I nodded. "fine. Alice you take the je-"

"no Bella." _I'm not leaving him either.'_

"there's no way we can all fit in my truck." Edward said. I knew where this was going.

I was not disappointed.

"you should let me go alone."

the quiet voice reached me easily.

"Edward, please. just do this one thing my way. please." I begged. I didn't care for my pride anymore. he needed to see, I couldn't leave him. not for anything. especially not when he was in danger.

"that tracker, James, he saw the way you were with me. he's going to think that I'll be with you." his words, though I hated to admit it, did make sense.

"he's right." Emmett said, looking impressed.

"I can't do that." I whispered. I wasn't sure if he heard me or not, but he surprised me with the next words that left his mouth.

"I think Emmett should stay too. he'll assess you as the best defense and think you're with me." he said, addressing Emmett with the last part of his words.

"what?" _you think you're going alone? no way._

"Em, he's right. and you'll get a better shot at him if you stay." Alice said, convincingly. I turned to her.

"you think I should let him go alone, with a tracker after him?" she snorted at me.

"no! me and Jazz will go with him." she said as though talking to a pre-schooler. _I can keep a look out for danger and Jazz can keep him calm. he's doing alright so far though._

_"_I can't do that." I repeated, though their logic was working.

Edward spoke up again.

"listen, you stay here for a few days, lead the tracker away and then come back to meet me and Alice and Jasper can go home."

I had to admit, the idea of hunting down James was...appealing. to get rid of the cause of Edward's danger. and I would help, hearing his thoughts and his plans.

"where would I meet you?" I asked, defeated.

"Phoenix." he said, simply.

"no." that was insane "he'll hear that that's where you're going."

"and we'll make it look like he's meant to hear it." he said, simply. Emmett chuckled.

_he belongs with Jasper. all the strategies and tactics. _"diabolical" he muttered.

"but what if that doesn't work?" I was still unconvinced.

"there are several million people in Phoenix." I rolled my eyes. I wanted answers not general knowledge.

"is it that hard to locate a phone book?" I asked, skeptically.

"then I won't go home. I'm old enough for my own place." he said. I looked to Alice meaningfully. she understood.

_we'll get a hotel room, don't worry. by the airport...in case. _"we'll stay with him, Bella." she said, trying to convince me.

I slowed the car to a crawl as we entered the town. Alice and Emmett looked out the dark windows, looking for James and giving me and Edward the most privacy they could.

"Edward," I said, softly. he looked up and caught my eye in the mirror. "if anything...anything happens to you. if you _let _anything happen to you..." I knew Edward, if he could save some-one, he would, no matter what he had to do. "I will hold you responsible. just...don't let it. please?" I looked into his deep, green eyes. I couldn't stop. every time I looked, it was like I fell into them. he nodded.

I turned back to Alice.

"Alice, can Jasper handle this?" I asked, I felt bad for underestimating my brother but if it involved Edward.

"Bella, give him some credit. he's been doing very very well lately." _and he spent the whole day with Edward's scent and didn't do anything._

"and you?" could my sister do this? what if it came to a fight? I couldn't send her off without knowing she would be safe.

and my pixie-esque sister, simply pulled back her lips, bared her teeth, slick with venom, and let loose a guttural cry. the scent of adrenaline in Edward's blood heightened.

_I can handle myself Bella. Jasper taught me some things. I can fight. _

I nodded, a small smile on my face.

_if you changed him, all this worry for me, us and him would be completely unnecessary._

my smile changed to a grimace.

_fine. I won't bring it up again, for now. I'll concentrate._

I smiled again at her, with gratitude. she knew I appreciated everything they were doing for me.

"we're here." Emmett said ominously. in my peripheral vision I could see Edward's house. I gulped and looked in my mirror. Edward's face was set in determination but I could see the fear and sadness that betrayed his facade in his eyes. he was looking rigidly ahead.

I pulled onto the pavement. the jeep was hidden behind the forest that led onto Charlie's lawn. I lept out and pulled open Edward's door.

I had to help him with the harness again. I looked up at him. I could smell salt. his eyes were shining much too brightly.

"Edward. listen to me. you _have _to do this." I pleaded with him, the pain in my own voice made him look at me.

"I can do this." he said, convincing me or him I wasn't sure. I took his hand.

"Emmett. Alice." I called quietly. they slithered into the shadows around the house, running opposite perimeters.

I ranged my ears and mind out further, listening for any sign of the tracker. his plans had not been to go to the house with the others.

I hadn't noticed we had reached the porch, until Edward's hand, squeezed on mine tighter. I looked up to him and his eyes were blazing with resolve.

he lent closer to me, not taking his eyes off of mine.

"I love you." he whispered, for fear his voice would crack "I will always love you, no matter what happens."

" nothing will happen." I told him. "your plan _will _work. Edward you have to hurry." I urged him, still listening for James' approach.

I was caught off guard when his lips pressed to mine. I was still stood there in shock when he stepped away and shut the door.

I snapped out of it and ran for his window. I jumped straight up and through the already open window.

I dashed to his drawers and began shoving pile upon pile of clothing onto the bed. the door opened and Edward ran through it and went for the closet. he pulled out a large hold-all and began to throw the clothes into it. his hands were trembling as he attempted to do up the zipper.

he threw the bag over his shoulder.

"I'll be in your truck. go!" I whispered. I grabbed one of his jackets before slipping out the window again.

I lay the jacket on the seat of his truck and sat, listening to him.

his footsteps stopped. Charlie must have gotten to him.

"mum needs help! I can't stay here!" I heard Edward say.

"what happened? what did Phil do?" Charlie's frantic voice cried. I winced at the loud voice he was using, knowing it would alert the tracker sooner rather than later.

"you wouldn't understand!" Edward said, his footsteps started again as he ran for the door.

"Edward! I can't just let you leave. it's dark! you'll crash!" Charlie tried again to persuade his son.

"Charlie. just let me go. don't call and don't follow." I heard Edward's voice turn icy and I shivered at the sound.

_BELLA! I caught his scent. he's running for you! _Emmett's 'voice' called to me.

I stiffened as the front door was flung open and Edward ran out into the rain. his bronze hair wet in seconds. I looked behind him to see Charlie standing in the doorway looking broken. I hadn't heard the last comments passed, but I had no inclination to know. looking at Edward's face as he opened the truck door, told me that he had been the one to put the look on his father's face.

Edward twisted the keys sharply and backed away.

I wanted nothing more than to grasp him tightly and hold on, never letting go. but I couldn't. I needed him safe.

"pull over." I said, softly. he shook his head.

"I can drive." he said, his voice cracking as hot tears rolled down his cheeks.

I pulled him gently away from the wheel and replaced myself in his seat. he said nothing, but held me close to his side.

I could feel the salt water dampen my hair and I ached for his pain, but I kept driving.

I looked out my window and saw Alice running alongside the truck. her face was odd. her eyes kept focusing and un-focusing as though in a flux. she was checking the future, repeatedly.

I heard Emmett's thoughts. he was tailing us in the jeep.

_he heard where Edward's going. he's following a mile behind us. _

I knew this. I could hear his thoughts.

_the kid's going to phoenix. must be a ruse. they must have known I would hear. need to find Victoria._

he doubled back on himself and searched for the woman. I breathed out an unnecessary breath I hadn't realized I had been holding, he had fallen for it.

Alice lept onto the roof of the truck, hitting it with a loud bang. Edward jumped.

"it's Alice." I soothed.

_sorry. _she thought repentant.

the jolt brought Edward out of the stupor he had fallen into.

"the tracker? did he buy it?" he asked. though he whispered, Alice and Emmett both heard. their thoughts were asking the same thing.

"he bought it." I confirmed. "he's meeting up with the female on the other side of town." I heard three small sighs of relief, much like my own.

"what are _you _going to do?" worry seeped into his voice.

"I...will be in the...hunting party." I said hesitantly, glancing over at him.

"you will be careful. won't you?" his voice rang with anxiety as he spoke.

"Edward. I do _not _want you to worry about me. do you hear me? focus on yourself and only yourself." I told him firmly, looking away from the road and to him.

"I can't, Bella! what if something happened to you! and it's because of me!" he cried. "I don't know what I would do if I lost you." he clutched tighter to me, as though I would disappear. I moved one hand from the steering wheel and placed it to the side of his face.

"you won't lose me! I won't let anything happen to me!" I promised him.

I didn't remove my eyes from his as I turned into the long driveway leading to the house.

I cut the engine in front of the house and jumped out. I ran for the door, knowing that Emmett had grabbed Edward from the car.

I snarled as I opened the door. Laurent was sitting on the large white sofa.

"YOUR coven is tracking us!" I growled towards him.

_he came to warn us about them. the other two left us as soon as you left the field. _Carlisle told me, soothingly.

"I thought that this would happen." the french vampire said. he sounded almost sorry.

_why I ever joined with James, I don't know. always a chase or a challenge. never just a meal. this permanent settlement seems a good solution._

"I'm afraid you will have to choose." Carlisle said gravely.

"this is not my fight. I will not help either side. but I will tell you something about James: do not underestimate him. with his features, he blends in with the humans more than even you. his senses are unmatched by any. he is unresting and ruthless." he looked to Edward who was now at my side. "are you sure that it's worth it?"

his answer was met with my enraged roar. how dare he! to think that I would just throw Edward out to be found!

_calm Bella. he doesn't understand. _Alice and Carlisle mimicked each other in thoughts to me.

Laurent was taken aback with my ferocious response.

"I guess that's the answer." he stated simply and stood. "your life does intrigue me. maybe I shall find another coven like this." he said and was gone.

Alice whispered something into Jasper's ear and they departed upstairs.

"we have to kill him." Emmett said at large to the room. Rose gripped his hand tight as he spoke. Carlisle's eyes showed sadness. I knew ha hated to take a life, no matter whose.

"I know." he whispered. Esme left his side to press her hand to the wall. Edward looked confused as he watched her. there was a large creaking sound and metal shutters slammed against the large wall of glass, making the house shudder.

"Rose." I turned to my sister. "put on Edward's jacket. his scent on you will lure the tracker away from him." I held out the jacket I had grabbed from Edward's room. she looked at me, with angry disbelief in her eyes.

"and why should I? what debt to I hold to him to make me do this? he is nothing to me! nothing, except a danger you have brought down upon this whole family!" her voice was low, with a quiet menace that made even Emmett shiver.

I then disowned my sister.

"Esme? please?" I turned to her. she held out her hand and I threw her the jacket. "Emmett, can you take Edward upstairs and give him some of your clothes?" he nodded and took Edward again. they disappeared upstairs.

Carlisle turned to Rosalie.

"we have enough that could tear apart this family, without you ripping it yourself." he said, disappointment heavy in his tone.

"exactly. he is tearing the family apart. should I have any part in his safe-keeping?" she said angrily. she looked to me, expecting me to blow up at her.

"do what you want. for I am done with you." I said, with such ice in my voice that I shocked myself. she stood stunned. Carlisle sighed.

"Jasper and Alice are taking Edward south, to Phoenix. they will leave the house last." I said, watching them all for any signs of complaint. "me and Emmett will make up the hunting party. we'll leave first. and Carlisle and Esme will drive north to lure away the female. you leave second." I said, deliberately leaving out Rosalie. she took the bait.

"and me?" she asked, coldly.

"if you wish, take Carlisle's place and he will come with me and Emmett." I said, with equal frostiness. I knew that, even in her obstinacy, she wouldn't run from this. not if Emmett was with us. both her and Carlisle nodded their confirmation.

Alice and Jasper ran back down the stairs. they had both changed from their baseball uniforms to black clothes and they both clutched a bag, one large, one small.

"change your clothes." she said. I looked at her like she was mad. she thought of clothes at a time like this?

"the tracker has already caught the scent of the fabric. change and he won't catch your scent until Edward's out of danger." she explained. I nodded, apologetically and ran upstairs.

I changed into black clothes, like Alice and Jasper, and ran back down the stairs.

Emmett and Edward were back. Edward was dressed in the clothes Emmett had kept from his human life. they were the smallest Emmett owned and Edward still drowned in them. I ran back and stood with Emmett and Carlisle by the door.

_catch! _Alice called and I raised my hand in time to catch the small silver phone as it whistled towards my head. _I'm speed-dial 1 and Esme's speed-dial 2. _I pocketed it.

Carlisle handed Alice the keys to his Mercedes.

"you'll need the dark tint in the south." he said, by way of explanation. "Esme and Rose. you'll take Edward's truck" I threw the keys to Rose, knowing she would drive. "we'll take the jeep. Alice?"

she answered his unasked question.

"20 seconds then leave." she said.

I couldn't leave without saying goodbye to Edward. it could be the last time I ever saw him. I had promised to keep myself safe...but James was ruthless.

I ran to him. his eyes were glistening with held back tears. we both knew that this could be the last time we saw the other.

I reached up and pressed my lips to his. I ignored my family's shocked thoughts on how I could do this and knotted my hands in his hair. with his eyes closed the tears that had threatened to spill, did. they scorched my ice cold cheeks.

I broke away from him and ran for the door, hiding the grief and fear I felt behind an emotionless mask.

I ran into the night and slammed the door of the car behind me. Emmett threw the engine into drive and the three of us drove away from our loved ones and toward the unknown.


	21. To Hunt, Or To Be Hunted

**IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE – PLEASE READ**

**I know I seem to do this a lot but... I have added more to the last chapter – please go back and re-read – thanks.**

**if you've come back after doing that – enjoy reading.**

we drove in silence. I noticed that Edward's tears still clung to my cheeks and Emmett and Carlisle looked pointedly away from my going to pieces at this.

I knew full well that James was unmerciful and would stop at nothing to get his 'prize'. if I was going to be getting in the way of his game, I would be eliminated. I needed to have my full concentration on this task and thinking of Edward's safety could end in my own safety being disregarded. so, I sealed away my heart and focused.

I let my mind range out as far as I could. James caught the sound of the jeep leaving the long driveway and entering the large forest.

_-could be a decoy...I'll take it. Victoria can wait and see if there's another. _

"speed up." I instructed Emmett. he nodded and obeyed, the pin on the dial inching past 200.

all I could take from the tracker's thoughts was the view of the pin-pricks of light that were the tail-lights of our jeep a few miles ahead of him.

_I can smell that human even from here...they think they can run? pathetic._

I smirked. Edward's scent clung to me so much that his perfume seemed now permanently integrated with mine. James had picked up on it and tailed us. all I could hope for was that the female had taken the second decoy.

I heard his thoughts grow louder and clearer as he gained on us by inches.

_-need my bag. need to keep in contact with Victoria. foolish to run in alone. especially with a coven this size, they could easily call in 'reinforcements'._

they faded again as he turned away from the track we were creating. Emmett picked up on the absence of his footfalls behind us and slammed on the brake.

_did he catch on? _he asked frantically, debating whether to jump out and follow James.

"no Em. he's fetching his bag from where he left it." I told him, looking out the window watching for any signs of his re-entrance.

"oh he's giving us a nice head-start. how nice." sarcasm rolled off Emmett in waves. _he's confident enough to do that? does he have reason to be that sure of himself?_

I ignored Emmett's silent questions. still, he understood my silence.

"we need to keep moving." Carlisle's voice came from behind us. "if not, he'll catch on that Edward's scent is merely mixed with yours."

Emmett nodded grimly and pushed his foot back to the pedal.

_surely 'Bella' will not want to leave her precious Edward with others. he will be with her. Victoria will just...diminish their numbers. _James' thoughts returned to my head. an image of my face, eyes black and expression terrifying, flashed through his thoughts. _she will not leave her human pet._

I snarled again. Emmett, understanding, sped the car up further. Rose had boosted all the engines in the cars a few years ago making them unbearably quick for human instincts. I had joined her with this. a few years ago, my sister had still been my friend.

to clear my head of my own unwelcome thoughts, I reached again into the mind of the tracker.

_why do they keep driving? they must know of my presence by now. why have they tried nothing? _

if my heart could beat, it would have stopped.

without thinking, I jumped from my seat up through the glass sun-roof, the shards having no effect upon my granite skin. I landed in a crouch on the roof of the still moving jeep. my eyes roamed the forest as it flashed by, searching for him.

I shrieked out a guttural call into the night, baring my glistening teeth to the twilight.

I caught a glimpse of his dark hair as it dashed between the trees. my muscles tensed to spring as he grew steadily closer.

my hair blew about my face as I waited, the debris from the forest catching in the tendrils that whipped the through the air. I was slowly becoming less human and more demon with the want for combat.

he launched himself from the trees and collided with my stomach, catching me head-on. we flew from the jeep-roof and shattered several trees, the force of his attack too fierce to stop as we hit them.

as we descended towards the ground, I flipped in the air, making him land underneath me. I pressed my teeth to his neck, preparing to bite and rip and tear at his skin.

I heard the jeep stop and the wind of Emmett and carlisle's movements.

James' feet lifted and connected with my stomach. he kicked upwards and I was raised above the trees, looking down as the tracker stood awaiting my descent.

I righted myself and plummeted to the earth, landing on my toes a few meters apart from him.

his eyes darted to the sides, looking for method of escaping, but afraid to turn his back. I smirked as he found no get away option.

we fell into attacking crouches in synchronization. our feet moved in pattern as we circled each other, looking for a weak spot in the others defense.

I saw his knees lock together in my peripheral vision for the slightest of moments. his thoughts gave him away before he hurtled himself at me. I dodged and grabbed his arm as he whistled past. he landed and continued to run through the maze of trees.

I grinned as Emmett and Carlisle appeared at my side.

"Emmett, loop left. Carlisle, loop right" I said and they nodded, disappearing again. I ran directly after James. his track led him back to where the jeep was abandoned.

_they brought their best fighters out to meet me. that means he must be at the car. he won't be alone... _Alice's face flashed in his mind as he thought of who would guard him. I snarled at the way he was viewing Alice...as though she was something for him to devour.

Emmett and Carlisle reached a conclusion the same time I did. if James arrived at the car, he would realize that Edward was never there.

_where's the boy? ...oh...he was never here. clever. he must be with the one Victoria tailed...no. she would have called if she found them. she would have caught up with the truck before now.....another decoy. there was a third car._

"NO!" my blood-curdling scream echoed back a thousand times from the forest. he had figured it out.

"he's going back to Forks." I told Emmett and Carlisle as they rejoined my side.

_he figured it out? _Carlisle asked silently. I nodded, too panic-stricken to talk. he could catch the scent of Edward easily from the house. and what if they hadn't left yet? Alice wouldn't wait that long, surely.

we ran on, the sounds of our passage were too loud for the tracker to ignore and he ran still quicker. I made to speed up but carlisle's hand on my arm stopped me.

_don't run ahead. we mustn't separate. what if you had been unsuccessful with throwing him off of you before? _"we stick together." he voiced the end of his thought aloud.

I said nothing, but stayed at their speed. I inhaled again and caught James' scent as it led away from the house. he had followed the trail already and was running into the center of Forks.

I cursed under my breath. we couldn't go running through the town at our speed. we stayed under the cover of the trees. Carlisle and Emmett followed me as I followed his thoughts.

eventually, he ran out of the town. he was now two miles ahead of us. it was too much of a head start.

my phone buzzed in my pocket. I lifted it to my ear not bothering to check who it was.

"_Bella." _Alice's whispered voice came down the line.

"Alice? where are you?" I asked.

"_we've just checked into the hotel. we're in Phoenix. Edward's asleep_." she said, knowing that I would ask for him. I sighed. "_ but that's not important. Bella, I had a vision. James boarding a plane. before you ask, I don't know where to. it was settle air-port though."_

"when was it Alice?"

"soon_. in the net few days. I wasn't completely sure."_

"thank you Alice." I said, thanking her for more than this information. she knew this.

"_don't worry about it Bella. keep safe." _and with that she hung up.

I looked to Emmett and Carlisle. they had obviously heard. their expressions were grim.

I dialed the number for Esme and waited. she answered within 2 seconds.

"_Bella?"_ a mothers worry for her family showed in her voice.

"Esme. don't worry we're safe. how's Rose?" I asked about my sister first for Emmett. he looked to me gratefully.

"_she's fine. we're both fine_."

"what about the female?"

"_she wasn't fooled by the jacket. she turned and ran back to town when she realized he wasn't with us."_

I growled.

"okay. Esme, turn back to Forks. keep a watch over Charlie." I said.

"_of course Bella." _

"do you want to speak to Carlisle?" I asked her gently, handing the phone to him. Emmett and I stepped away to give them privacy.

I sat on the grass and curled my knees to my chest. we had lost them both. I had let Edward down. I had sworn that I would let nothing happen to him and now because of me, he was in the worst danger possible.

a white arm fell around my shoulders as Emmett sat next to me. I lent back into my brothers chest and closed my eyes.

"I could lose him Em." I whispered, for fear my voice would crack.

"shhhhhhh Bells. we won't let that happen." the joking demeanor that signified Emmett was gone. "we will get James." _nothing will happen to Edward._

"but Em even if we do kill James, do you honestly think that he would stay with me? knowing the kind of danger he would be in?" I moved away to look into Emmett's topaz eyes.

"have you seen the way the kid looks at you? even I've noticed it and I'm not the most 'emotional' of people." he said, placing air-quotes round the word _emotional. _"that's more Jasper's area." he said, trying to make me smile.

I only managed a weak smile and he sighed.

"Bella. I don't think that there's anyway that either of you could stay away from the other." I looked to Emmett. I had never heard him speak from this. it was normally Jazz who came out with this sort of stuff.

"hey, I can be deep too." he said, sounding mock-insulted, interpreting my glance correctly. "come on kid." he stood, pulling me with him.

Carlisle hung up and ran back to us.

"Esme and Rose are nearly there, and they'll go to the airport to find James." he said. "we need to pick up the trail, see if we can get to him before hand.

me and Emmett nodded our agreement and we took off running after James' scent.

a day passed. we followed the scent to Canada, never stopping and never tiring. he was too far ahead for me to listen to his thoughts. I inhaled again as we reached the first few houses into the state. he had fed here. I followed his scent again, more dominant with the added blood in his body, and snarled.

it was a trick. his scent led back the way we had come, a few miles parallel to his original path. he had looped round. he was heading back to Forks.

another day past us as we sped for home. our feet hitting a rhythmic pattern into the ground that flew beneath them.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

as I approached the white house, I saw Rose and Esme standing on the porch in absolute stillness. worry was etched on their faces as they waited for their husbands.

"Carlisle!" Esme's voice rang out into the silence as she ran for him. he gathered her in a hug and they stood there breathing in each others scents.

Rose had waited by the front door for Emmett. he grasped her hand and pulled her into him.

I watched the two scenes of obvious love. watching them made my heart pang. my time without Edward was hurting me.

"did you find him?" I asked as the couples broke apart. Esme shook her head.

"no. he didn't show up. Alice's vision could have changed." Rosalie said. _she knew not to call. we could have been tailing them. it would have given us away. maybe it changed and she wasn't sure whether to tell us because of where we'd be. _"the female's been in town though. she's been searching around the school."

"we need to call them." Esme voiced, referring to Alice, Jasper and Edward. "it's been nearly three days. they'll be worried."

Carlisle's phone was dialed and to his ear, before I could get mine out of my pocket.

"Alice?" he said into the mouthpiece. he knew we could all hear, so refrained form placing it onto speaker-phone.

"_Carlisle!" _Alice's slightly panicked voice came from the other end.

"Alice? what's happened?" Carlisle asked, picking up on her tone.

"_a vision. two actually. the first one. he was in a dark room. watching something on a VCR. the second..." _she trailed off, her voice became strangled and weak.

"Alice?!" Carlisle called into the phone.

"_Carlisle, it's Jasper. the second vision. he was in a ballet studio. in Phoenix." _I stiffened at this. "_and Carlisle, it's soon. really soon." _

"Jasper. we're going to the air-port, see of we can head him off before he gets on the plane." Carlisle said. I could see he was about to hang up.

"Carlisle, wait." I called, before dashing to his side. he handed me the phone. I pressed it to my ear.

"Jazz, is Edward awake?" I asked him.

"_yeah_." I heard him call Edward's name away from the phone and waited.

"hello?" I smiled as Edward's velvety voice floated down the phone.

"Edward?" I said, for that was all I could say. his name.

"Bella! are you okay? I've been worried and-" I groaned, closing my eyes.

"Edward, I told you to worry about you own safety. not mine. please." I reminded him. he seemed to ignore me.

"where are you?"

"we're back in Forks. we lost him near Canada. Edward, I'm sorry. I tried. but we know he's heading for the airport."

"I know. Alice told me." he said, simply. and he didn't sound mad that I was letting danger slip by me to him? there was only a small amount of fear in his voice, but I hated the sound of even that small amount.

"don't worry. we _will _find him. nothing will hurt you. just stay there and _don't _be worried for anyone besides yourself."

"okay. but Bella please be careful. if anything happens to you because of me-"

"_Edward this is not your fault!" _I told him through gritted teeth. Rosalie scoffed at my comment and I turned away from them all.

"I miss you." his quiet voice came down the line. my heart lightened somewhat. to know that he felt the same as me even in these circumstances...

"Edward, I know. I miss you so much. it's like half of myself is gone." I told him honestly.

"I love you Bella." the first genuine smile I had had for days fell to my face.

"is there any chance, even taking in what I've put you through, that you could believe I love you too?" I asked him.

"yes there is."

"I love you." I told him outright this time.

"as I love you." his voice was tender as he spoke.

"and I'll be with you soon. I promise, this will all be over very soon." my expression hardened as I refocused on my task. "bye Edward."

"bye Bella." I heard the dialing tone and slowly hung up the phone.

as I turned, I again hid my grief with a hardened mask.

"we need to get to the airport. if we can head him off there, this all ends." I said, handing the phone back to Carlisle.

Esme looked at me with such a heartbroken expression that I had to look away. if I were to look her in the eyes and see the sorrow that I was holding back, I would break down in sobs.

the rest of them nodded solemnly. even Rosalie had seemed to realize what I was going through and was shutting up.

Esme and Rose opted to stay behind to look after Charlie. if the female had been in town there was always the chance she would go there.

I slid into the driver seat of my Vanquish, ignoring the red truck that was in the corner of the garage. Carlisle sat in front with me and Emmett in the back. we slid out the driveway hitting the road in seconds.

I heard their determination in their thoughts and knew that if I had them at my sides, I would succeed. I would succeed. I had to.

**if you've just read through this without reading the first authors note...this will have made no sense. so I suggest you go back and re-read the last chapter.**

**if you did go back and re-read the last chapter. review this chapter and the last please. I want to know what you thought about the added bit.**

**hattii x**


	22. Oh, My Broken Boy

we arrived at the airport in half an hour, due to my driving. as we got out the car, I immediately began to listen to the trackers thoughts. I couldn't let him get to Phoenix. how had he even discovered that that was where Edward was?

I listened hard, running through the automatic doors. I could hear nothing. I froze, his scent was here. but it was very faint.

I growled, scaring a passing old woman.

_woah kid! act human!_

I ignored Emmett's comment.

"his plane's already left!" I snarled through gritted teeth. "we lost him!"

"he's got to Phoenix." Carlisle said gravely. my hand flashed to my phone and I dialed Alice's number. I got the voice-mail. growling, I left a message for her telling her to call me back.

Carlisle was at the tickets desk trying to order us the net tickets to Phoenix. luckily, the person serving him was a young woman. as disconcerting as it was to watch my father flirt, I was glad for vampire looks. he dashed back to us with three tickets in his hands for a flight in an hour.

my phone went and was to my ear in a flash.

"Alice?"

"_yes. it's me." _concern was leaking into her voice.

"why didn't you answer?" I demanded, quietly.

"_Edward was talking to his mother, she called him. oh Bella, he's really cut up after it. I can feel the fear on him and I'm not Jasper." _

"can I talk to him?" I asked quietly. I hated the fact that he was so broken.

"_he's in the bathroom. he hasn't come out since the call. but Bella, the vision changed. Edward's in the ballet studio too!_" my body went cold. "_I take it you didn't catch the tracker?" _

"no. we were too late!" I said, grimly. "-but we've got tickets to Phoenix, we're leaving in an hour. tell Edward and don't let him leave your sight. meet us at the airport."

"_sure thing Bella." _I hung up and dialed Esme's number.

_"Bella? what's happened?"_

"we lost him. we were too late. he's probably in Phoenix by now."

"_what's happening then?"_

"we're going to Phoenix to get Edward. me, Em and him will run further south and Carlisle, Alice and Jasper will come home." I looked to my father and brother to see if they had any protests. seeing they had none, I continued "James will probably meet up again with Victoria when he realizes that Edward's not in Phoenix and then when he comes back to Forks, you lot can get him."

"_but why are you taking Emmett?" _

"I need Emmett in case it doesn't work and he finds us. I need more than just me to be there. and Em would kill me if I didn't let him come." I said, smirking at Emmett, in a better mood now knowing that I would be with Edward soon.

"_be careful Bella." _she told me. "_you too Emmett." _she said knowing he would hear.

"will do mom." I said. she loved it when I called her mom. "love you."

"_love you too. bye."_

I snapped the phone shut and slid it back into my pocket.

Carlisle led us through to the first class waiting lounge. when I rose my eyebrows to him, he merely shrugged. _might as well be comfortable. _he told me smirking. I laughed quietly at him. although he might be the most level-headed of us all that didn't saymuch.

we sat in the large waiting seat and waited for the plane to come in.

I let my mind wander to what would happen when I was with Edward again. we couldn't go back to Forks, until James was gone. maybe I could take him to one of our houses in France. staying far away from Italy though. though I couldn't do much with the sun out. maybe england? we had lived their a few times. and owned a few houses there.

I was snapped out of my thoughts by Emmett waving a hand in front of my face. annoyed at being snapped out of my pleasant thoughts, I glared at him.

"the planes here." he told me. _jeez, try to hep someone and they murder you with their eyes._

I rolled my eyes at him and we walked into the compact space.

it went against my instincts to be in here. to smell the adrenaline-laced blood and not feed. we had not hunted since...the day before I was with Edward in the meadow. Carlisle had no problem, he could handle fresh flowing blood and place his hands in it. it was Emmett and I who had the trouble.

to stop ourselves, we both fell into an almost trance-like state. we could have stopped breathing, but that placed our bodies on a higher danger alert and our instincts were less controlled.

I stiller I grew, the tighter my grip became on the armrests to either side of me. I closed my eyes to try to block out the sounds and thoughts around me. I would have been happier if Edward was already with me.

Carlisle reached over and unclenched my hands from the armrests. I looked down and saw that a perfect copy of my hands were imprinted there. I grimaced and folded my arms across my chest.

"calm down kid." Emmett muttered to me. I threw him a withering look and then sighed.

"sorry. I know I'm being-"

"tense? edgy? uptight? high-strung?" Emmett offered cheerily. I glared at him and continued.

"-a nightmare. but I'm just-" I was cut off again.

"just being a teenager." Carlisle said, smirking. I rolled my eyes at him. "don't worry Bella. you'll see him soon."

_awwwww. Bella and her boyfriend. sweet. _I cuffed Emmett around the head. he just chuckled at me. I rolled my eyes at him and turned back to Carlisle.

"I can't help it. James is in Phoenix!" I said as loudly as I could while staying below human hearing levels. although I knew that Alice and Jasper were more than capable of looking after him I was still racked with worry for him.

"Alice and Jasper are with him." he said, soothingly. "he'll be fine."

I merely nodded and closed my eyes again. I could feel the pressure in the cabin change as we began to descend over Arizona. we stayed in silence as we flew lower and lower.

I grew more and more anxious to be back on solid ground. to be with Edward. I opened my eyes and waited.

as soon as the wheels eventually touched the tarmac, I was standing. Emmett rolled his eyes at me and stood too, both of us ignoring the hostess' protests.

the first class section was almost empty, so we had no reason to wait any longer in a queue. I was out of the doors as soon as they were opened, with Emmett and Carlisle hurrying along in my wake.

I was thankful that the flight had arrived ten minutes early. we sped out through the terminals. the flurry of voices that was absent from my head in the air was back as I listened for Alice's 'voice'.

I could hear mothers and fathers worrying about their children as they played about. I could hear younger adults nerves of flying...and a security-guard's annoyances about teenage hooligans.

I stood stock still. an image of Edward's face flashed at me, in an unfamiliar mind. the security-guard's. if that was Edward...where was Jasper and Alice?

I searched more furiously for their thoughts, ignoring my father's and brother's questions to my halt.

_BELLA! BELLA! GET HERE! _I heard Alice shouting to me. I immediately located them and ran, as quickly as I could with humans around, towards them.

Alice clung to Jasper with such a fear and desperation that my own fear, if possible, heightened.

"what happened Alice?" I said, my voice shaking. if it were possible, Alice's eyes would have been streaming with tears. she detached from Jasper and threw her tiny arms around me, dry sobs racking through her body.

"B-B-Bella. Edward said he was hungry. he took Jasper with him, saying he was feeling...anxious. he went to the bathroom and..." she took another breath to calm her voice. "there was two exits from the bathroom. Bella, I couldn't follow. there was too much security, too many witnesses-" she broke off and Jasper pulled her back into his embrace.

I looked blankly at Jasper, silently asking for more information.

"there were no other scents in that bathroom. they were all human. Esme would have said if that female had left Forks. right?" he asked, looking for an answer that no-one could give.

Alice suddenly gasped.

"he wasn't taken." she said, quietly. we all looked to her. "the letter." she ran back to her bag and pulled out an envelope. she handed it to me silently, an image of Edward handing it to her flashed across her mind.

I ripped it open.

_my Bella,_

_my Bella, I am so so sorry. he has my mother. I have to do what he says. he'll hurt her otherwise. _

_if I do this he'll let her go. I hope. I know that there's not much chance...but I have to do what I can._

_please, don't blame Alice or Jasper. it was a miracle that I managed to get away. thank them for me. thank all of your family for me._

_I love you Bella. with all my heart._

_forgive me._

_Edward._

_x_

the paper shook between my trembling fingers. for the first time since I became a vampire, I felt my knees give out. Emmett and Jasper's arms caught me as I fell.

I saw Carlisle pick up the letter that had fallen from my hands. his eye went a flat black as he saw what was written.

Edward.

he had left. he was with James. he was in danger.

my brother's arms fell away as I stood, taking the letter again. his scent was still attached to it. his scent.

I inhaled and caught his sweet fragrance. without another word to my family, I followed it.

I pushed desperately through the crowds, my feet carrying me too slow for my liking. the burn that was usually present had disappeared, as his scent was too faint.

when I got outside, the trail suddenly stopped. there was a stop for shuttles at the edge of the road where his scent disappeared.

"he's gone." I said, almost too quietly for my own ears. I turned around sharply to Alice.

"Alice, where did he go?" I asked, urgently.

"the ballet studio." she said quietly. "fifty-eight street and cactus. Bella we need to hurry!" her voice picked up life as she said this.

"we need a car!" Emmett said. he turned to Alice. or rather, the spot where Alice had been.

"she's getting a car." Jasper said as explanation to Emmett's confusion.

I could hear her thoughts as she debated between the cars. we needed something fast and enough to fit us all in. we couldn't run with the sun that was shining over the city.

Carlisle began to pace the shadowed pavement as we waited. I was debating whether to just run and not care who saw me, but Emmett and Jasper where keeping a hand on both of my arms. obviously they had an idea of what I would do.

a screeching of wheels reached my ears. I turned and saw Alice in the driver seat of a car. I looked it over as she drove towards the shadows. it looked fast enough. and the windows were tinted, hiding us from the sun.

I almost ripped the door of the metal body as I lept into the car. as soon as we were in, her foot hit the pedal again. the stench of burning rubber entered the car as we drove.

Alice's eyes were constantly changing, focusing and re-focusing as she desperately searched ahead. her tiny fingers made dents in the steering wheel as she gripped on. the dial on the speed-o-meter hit higher and higher numbers, that weren't exactly safe for the other people on the roads, but no-one protested.

_the solidity is gone. the futures murky again. we could still be in time. we could still be in time. we could still be in time._

she repeated these six words over and over again to herself. an unspoken mantra, as she maneuvered through the traffic. she was convincing herself as well as me.

we _would _be in time. we had to be in time. I didn't know what I would do if I lost Edward. these past few days without him had been torture enough to me. how could I survive an eternity?

maybe I didn't have to. _if _we were too late, if there was nothing else to hold me to this life...maybe I wouldn't have to live the eternity.

I shook my head, trying to clear it of these thoughts. I needed to concentrate. I had to keep my focus if I wanted Edward to live.

I glanced to Alice to see if she had seen what I had been planning. I took it as a good sign that she hadn't seen anything. if she couldn't see my decision at Edward's...death, then she probably couldn't see him dying.

Jasper's eyes caught mine in the mirror. his expression was troubled as he tried to decipher my emotions.

_she's broken. that much is obvious...but there's something else...something she's trying to hide..._

I moved my gaze from his and glared up at the fiery sun. I could have been there by now if I could have ran. the streets of Phoenix were bathed in a glowing brightness. once we arrived we would have to run from the car to avoid being seen.

almost twenty minutes had passed since we left the airport. my hands were balled into fists at my sides as I sat there uselessly. I needed to be there. to make sure that my Edward was still alive.

I could smell nothing, besides the scents of my family, in the confined area of the car. I longed to feel my throat burn again, as some proof that Edward was alive. I welcomed the burn. it was some evidence that blood still ran through him. sitting here, in a car cut off from my main sense, I wanted the fire to lead my to where Edward was.

the car swung around a final corner. I could see the studio, Alice switched her feet and slammed her foot to the brake, breaking it with the force she used.

I tore the door open and the fire attacked me. he was here. but the fire was too strong. he was bleeding, heavily.

the other trail, the weaker of the two, was undoubtedly James.

an enraged roar flew from my throat as I ran toward the door, my anger pushing my feet ahead faster.

I could hear snarls and cries of pain as I wrenched open the door. my vision was covered in red as I ran towards the room where the scent was the strongest, the burn viciously attacking my throat. the flimsy wooden door shattered as I burst through it.

the room was covered in shards of broken mirror, drops and puddles of blood spread across the large room. but my mind could only briefly cataloged this, as I saw the tracker lift his head; his eyes glowing crimson, full of blood lust, his throat and mouth covered in blood, and crouching over a broken figure with bronze hair.

a shriek, so ghastly and terrifying, fell from my lips as I jumped the distance between us, throwing James off Edward. he spun in the air trying to grab hold of me but, in my anger, his attacks came to nothing against me.

a sharp grazing cut into my arm as I threw him across the room. I ignored the pain that it caused me as I saw Jasper and Emmett grab hold of him.

"Bella!" Alice's frantic voice called. I turned, wanting to go and finish James. I saw where she was, who she was standing over. fear stabbed into my heart like ice.

"oh no! Edward no, no, please no!"


	23. Waiting Is Agony

"_oh no! Edward no, no, please no!" _

my chest convulsed with dry sobs as I looked to Edward's broken body. his pale face was painted with crimson blood. his beautiful eyes were closed as his body shook. a large gash was split through his leg, his blood running fast from the wound.

I was at his side without realizing I had moved. I brushed his hair out of his eyes hoping for some sign of life. I could hear his heart beating, but no life showed on his face.

"Edward! Edward! wake up! please wake up!" my anguished cries went unanswered.

I heard a metallic ripping sound from the back of the studio. I didn't turn, but I felt a vindictive pleasure as James' shrieks pierced the air. this task was distracting my brother's from the draw of Edward's blood. blood, that was now calling to me in a siren song almost impossible to resist.

"Edward please! please! wake up! I need you! Edward!" my family were scared by my tormented pleas.

I barely heard Alice call Carlisle to us, but he was at my side immediately. I looked to him, I needed to look into his eyes and see the reassurance in them that Edward would be fine. he avoided my gaze as he an his hand over Edward's head.

a strangled cry fell from Edward's lips as Carlisle's probing fingers hit a sensitive spot on his skull. his eyelids flickered slightly, but remained closed.

I could hear Emmett and Jasper throwing matches onto James' mangled body and could smell the putrid burning smell as his venom caught alight and engulfed his body. but I kept my back to them, concentrating on Edward's broken face.

"Edward?!" I called, not expecting a reply from him in this state. Alice wrapped her arms around my shoulders, for my comfort and her own.

"some broken ribs." Carlisle murmured. " there's some mirror cut through a vein in his leg. and his ankle's twisted." his words cut off as we heard a soft voice.

"B-Bella?" I looked to see Edward's eyelids wavered again. hope surged through me again.

"Edward, Edward. I'm here, Edward. you'll be alright." I said, grasping his hand and ignoring the blood that transferred to my own hand.

"Bella, it hurts." his cracked voice spoke, still without opening his eyes.

"you're going to be okay." I said, wishing for his eyes to open. I needed to see his eyes and see the familiar green.

"MY NECK!! IT'S ON FIRE!!" his voice cleared as it grew in volume. he yelled out desperately. his eyes at last opened, wide and unseeing as his terrifying shouts echoed through the room. I looked to him, frightened.

"Edward?" I asked, panicked.

"STOP THE FIRE! SOMEONE PLEASE!"

I looked to his throat. at the base of his neck, covered in blood and a silvery substance was a crescent shaped slash cutting across to his shoulders.

my eyes widened and the fear that filled my body, doubled. I gripped Carlisle's arm in terror.

"Carlisle, his neck." I whispered. both Carlisle and Alice's eyes darted to Edward's throat. Alice gasped.

"he bit him." disgust and anger colored Carlisle's tone. _was it not enough to torture him? did he have to subject him to this agony?!_

James' venom was flowing into Edward's bloodstream. the white hot fire that had once coursed through my own veins, now caused Edward the pain I had hoped he would never experience.

my Edward. my sweet, innocent Edward, now condemned to the damned half life I lived.

"there's too little venom. he'll die rather than change." Alice spoke quickly and frantically. "you have to do it Bella!" she turned to me.

"but-carlisle?" I asked, looking to my father desperately.

"I need to tend to the rest of his injures or he won't make it Bella." he said, his eyes full of worry and sorrow.

"but I can't do that to him." I pleaded. I couldn't. I couldn't add my own venom into his veins. I couldn't increase his suffering and doom him. I just couldn't.

"it has to be you Bella. no-one else had the reason or strength to pull back." Alice whispered. _Bella you have to. he'll die otherwise!_

she knew that I would hate to do this. but she also knew for certain that he would die. I could see the sorrow in her eyes. as much as she wanted this to happen, Alice hated for it to be under these circumstances. that Edward's death would be the motivator for me.

_maybe, there's another way. maybe she doesn't have to..._

my eyes left Alice's dark ones to Carlisle's. there was another way? he looked me in the eye as he spoke.

"there's another way. maybe...if you're strong enough. he doesn't have to be changed. you could suck the venom out."

I looked back to Edward. his eyes still unfocused with the pain that was racing through his body.

if I were to place my lips to Edward's blood, to drink the liquid that the monster in me so desperately craved, I would never be able to stop. I would end Edward's life myself.

but he deserved to live. he deserved the chance to grow and change. he deserved more than me. he lay there, dying, because of me. because he didn't understand that it was me who placed him in this danger.

"Bella, you have to hurry. the venom will be too far into his bloodstream." Alice's limited air supply was running out as she spoke.

"Alice, I-" she had a faith in me. a faith undeserved. but, looking at Edward, I nodded. he needed at chance at life. I would give it him.

"BELLA!" Edward's eyes focused and he saw me. I looked into his emerald eyes and saw the pain in them.

I bent over him, my hair falling onto his face.

"I love you. I'm sorry." I whispered into his ear, before moving my lips to his neck.

I let my teeth slide through the delicate skin and began to drink.

the first few drops hit my tongue. it was unlike anything I had ever tasted before. the taste exploded in my mouth, like that of an addictive, exotic wine. the monster inside of me celebrated in triumph.

I could hear the siren call as I had never heard it before. I could feel the gush of the sweetest wine as it left Edward's veins and flowed into my mouth. the burn that was my eternal companion at last was silenced as I drank from this fountain of crimson.

the sickly sweet taste of James' venom tainted the blood that flowed into my mouth. but even that minor affliction to the taste, could not make me deny that this was the most deletable substance I had ever savored.

I gulped back the scarlet liquid. I could tell the venom was running out and I knew that if I were to taste the unsullied blood, I would not be able to pull myself away. I wasn't sure I could do it now.

the last of the venom left his bloodstream. I felt Carlisle and Alice's restraining hands on my shoulders. but I kept drinking.

_BELLA! YOU LOVE HIM! BE STRONG! _Alice screeched at me silently.

YOU CAN STOP BELLA! YOU ARE STRONG ENOUGH! STOP. Carlisle kept repeating the same words to me again and again.

"Bella." a faint voice calling my name re-awoke the human inside me that had been knocked back by my darkness. I remembered that it was Edward. my Edward. I couldn't be the one to kill him.

I couldn't be the one to stop that heartbeat. a heartbeat that I could pick out from miles away. I couldn't be the one to close those sparkling eyes. the eyes that when I looked into them, looked right into me.

a memory of my Edward's laugh rang through my head. a flash of his emerald eyes danced across my lids. I took one last shot of blood and let my lips leave his throat. I knelt back on my knees and looked to Carlisle licking my lips.

"it's gone." I said simply. Carlisle's eyes held a look of pride as he smiled at me.

"Bella." Edward called again as Carlisle injected morphine from his bag into him.

"I'm here Edward. is the fire gone?" I asked to ensure my success.

"yes. it's gone. Bella, stay with me." his eyelids were drooping as the morphine took effect and his voice began to slur.

"I will Edward. just sleep now. it's over."

_do you smell anyone else here? _Carlisle asked, breathing in. _where's his mother?_

his words brought back the memories of Edward's note.

"Edward? wheres your mother?" I called softly.

"she was never here. I was so stupid. he tricked me. he watched our videos." I barely had the time to wonder what videos he was talking about when Edward's eyes snapped open again. "the video. Alice! he knew you! he knew where you came from!"

Alice froze as Edward closed his eyes again. her eyes scanned the broken room. and came to rest on a small video camera. she stood slowly, her eyes wide as she moved towards it. she took it up and hit the pause button. I watched her as she moved her eyes to mine. I knew what this meant to her. I knew her the best in our family, second only to Jasper. all her life she had been kept in the dark about her past...and now she had the answers to her questions.

"Bella, Alice. we have to get out of here. take him to a hospital." Carlisle said, breaking the two of us out of our trance.

Alice nodded and ran for the door needing air.

"you take him Carlisle." I said, not taking my eyes off of Edward's face. Carlisle nodded and scooped Edward's body up into his arms.

I stood next to him and swept Edward's bronze hair out of his eyes.

"Bella." he said softly before his breathing finally evened out and he fell into a deep sleep.

as we stepped outside the ballet studio, I saw Em and Jazz soaking the base of the building with petrol. they tossed a match into the liquid and stepped back as the building went up in flames.

Alice was already seated in the driving seat, so Carlisle and Edward sat in the back while I was in the front. Em and Jazz decided to take a taxi to the hospital and meet us there.

"Bella! you're hurt!" Alice shrieked, as quietly as she could with Edward sleeping. I looked to where she was pointing. there, in the center of my fore-arm was a crescent-shaped mark. a bite mark. the only way a vampire could be harmed.

as the terror I had been feeling for Edward's life wore off, I became aware of a much too sharp burning pain from the venom infected cut. I had only felt this pain once before and that was when the fire had raced through my veins. this time however, the pain was centered on one spot instead of my whole body. I felt a great deal of respect for Jasper who had been through this pain, not only during his transformation, but each and every time he received one of the thousands of scars that littered his body.

I raised my arm to my mouth and ran my tongue across the bite. I could once again taste James' venom. but I could also feel the burning weaken slightly as it began to heal.

I looked into the rear-view mirror and recoiled. my eyes were a glowing crimson. a direct result of human blood. Alice looked to my sympathetically. it would take a few days for my eyes to return to their normal topaz.

she searched through her bag and pulled out a pair of tinted contact lenses. I raised an eyebrow at her. she shrugged.

_I saw I might need them._

I smiled at her, but my smile quickly became a grimace as I realized the visions she would have seen. Edward pale and with glowing red eyes.

I placed the contacts to my eyes and blinked a few times. I didn't like them. my eyes kept focusing on the scratches that crowded the surface. I frowned at them and Alice laughed her tinkling laugh at my expression.

"I know they're annoying, but it's better than staying away from Edward." she said still smiling. but behind that smile I could see the anxiousness and burn for knowledge and I didn't even need my gift for that.

my wait in the hospital was...tedious. all I was allowed to do was sit in the plastic seats in the waiting room and wait.

Alice sat next to me. I gripped onto her hand tightly the entire time. if she was a human I would have crushed all the bones in her hand by now.

I sat there shaking as I waited for news. I knew that he should be okay, but my anxiety that I had failed overshadowed that.

Carlisle emerged from the emergency room after a few hours. he was allowed into the room on account of him being a doctor and had been giving me a commentary on Edward's condition.

"he's stable. they're putting him in a room." he informed me. I immediately relaxed. "but he won't wake up. it should be at least a week before he wakes. I'll show you to his room." I stood shakily and walked behind him not letting go of Alice's hand.

Edward looked more fragile than usual, lying there. only the rise and fall of his chest and the the pounding of his heart that showed any sign that he lived. Carlisle excused himself from the room and left me and Alice in the room.

we stood there, looking over the hospital bed. my eyes ran across the I.V drip, the heart monitor and the bandages that covered his body.

"I did this to him Alice." I whispered. with that I couldn't hold it in any longer. I let myself fall into my sister's arms and I sobbed dry tear less sobs

she sat us both on the sofa at the wall near Edward's bed. her small hands ran through my hair as she soothed me in whispers. my chest felt constricted as I struggled to breath, a sensation I had not felt for over a century.

my dry tears subsided as I sat in Alice's arms. I brushed my disturbed hair from my eyes and looked again to Edward's still form. I stood and walked over to his bedside, sitting in the hard plastic chair at the side of his bed.

I wasn't sure how long I sat there. it felt like seconds and days at the same time. I heard the doctors walk in and out of the room, heard the babble of noises as they discussed Edward's condition, but my eyes didn't leave Edward's face the entire time. I watched as the shadows of night passed across his pale features and waited as daylight moved over him.

I jumped when I felt a hand rest on my shoulder. looking up I saw Carlisle's eyes staring at me. he spoke to me rather than thinking.

"Alice called. she wants you to go to the hotel. it's about the tape." he said, looking remorseful. I looked back to Edward. "he won't wake yet. she wouldn't have called if he would."

I knew Alice wouldn't have called unless she needed me. and she did need me. this tape would tell her of the memories that had eluded her. she needed me and Jasper to help her.

I stood from my seat and followed Carlisle out of the room, taking one last look at Edward before I let the door swing shut.

Emmett and I drove to the hotel. Alice had asked for all of us, but Esme and Rose were still in Forks and Carlisle couldn't leave Edward.

Jasper opened the suite door for us, revealing Alice sitting frozen on the sofa in front of the blank television screen. I was immediately at her side and gripped onto her hand. she turned her head slowly to me, her eyes wide and staring. Jasper closed the door and sat on her other side while Emmett sat on mine.

she pressed the play button. the screen flickered before beginning to play.

"_Edward? Edward?" another television screen appeared, showing Edward's mother calling out. the screen froze and the camera moved to Edward's shocked and confused face._

"_so sorry about that...Edward." a gloating disembodied voice spoke. James. "but, don't you agree, that it was much...safer...to keep your mother out of this?" _

_understanding dawned on Edward's face, before being replaced with relief._

"_my mother isn't here?" he asked, his voice unwavering._

"_no. she's safe...though, that much can't really be said for you. now can it?" _

_Edward didn't speak._

"_come now don't be like that. I'm sure that...Bella...wouldn't want you to lose your manners even so close to the grave." _

_anger crossed Edward's face, before he composed it._

"_you know, you don't sound angry at all that I tricked you." James pondered lightly._

"_I'm not."_

"_how odd. you mean this." James' voice was surprised. "well...one thing I will credit to your peculiar coven, you humans can be fascinating. some of you have no respect for your own life at all." a sinister chuckle echoed near the cameras microphone. "I suppose you'll tell me something about how your little girlfriend and her family will avenge your death?" James sounded almost hopeful._

"_no. I asked her not to come after me."_

"_and what did she say?" _

_"I wouldn't know. I left a letter."_

"_how sweet. a last letter. positively romantic." James' voice was mocking. "and do you think that she will honour your last request?"_

_"I hope she will."_

"_ah...well. there, you see, our hopes differ. this was all too easy. nowhere near close to my usual standards. it was simply a game of bluff. I had expected, or rather, hoped for a better challenge." the voice sounded wistful._

"_well then. I'm sorry we put you to an inconvenience." Edward spoke in an steady voice. his confidence only betrayed by the well covered fear in his eyes._

"_when I heard that you would be leaving for Phoenix, I never dreamed that you would actually go through with it. so, after her chasing you, I sent Victoria after your father, hoping to use him as bait. when I realized that she could get nowhere near him, I asked her to look up your school records. Forks High, doesn't keep very good security over it's pupils information."_

_"I knew that you had said you were going to Phoenix and then Victoria told me that that was where your mother was, so then I thought, humans are so predictable they like to go where it's safe, so I boarded a plane and went to visit your mother in hopes that you would soon turn up there."_

"_and then I heard that your girlfriend was flying to Phoenix and that gave me proof that you were here. that I was right. then you so beautifully helped me with my plans and called your home for your mother, even leaving a phone number that I could contact."_

"_and then after that, all I needed was some luck. so you see, nowhere near as challenging as I had hoped. so I hope that you're wrong about your girlfriend, that she will seek revenge. you see I'm not ready for the game to end just yet, so do you mind if I leave a message for your Bella? a nice _video _message?" the screen widened as James finished his speech, showing the whole room. _

_the camera was set down some-where and James stepped forward, circling Edward slowly._

"_before I end this, I would like to point something out. that there could have been a way to save you. it happened once, centuries ago. the one and only time that my prize evaded me. a vampire once made the choice for his human friend that your Bella was too weak to make. he knew I was after her and so he stole her from the asylum where she was kept and ran with her. he bit her, changing her, making her untouchable and undesirable to me. I destroyed the old one for revenge. but the small girl didn't even seem to notice the pain. but then again, I doubt that she would remember much else. you see the shock treatments and the dark black room they kept her in, would have probably destroyed all memories for her."_

_a flash of realization passed over Edward's face._

"_Alice." he whispered._

"_Alice. is that her name? your small friend. well I can only hope that her coven will be able to find some comfort in this." his voice was mocking again. "the only prey that escaped me. an honour really."_

"_maybe she will come with your Bella after me. and I can finish them both off."_

"_you're a monster." Edward spat at him. James just grinned._

"_thank you. now I suppose we had better begin."_

the screen froze, and I looked up to Jasper who was holding the remote now. Alice was sitting there crying, dryly. Emmett's hands were clenched into the arm rest. I had been locked on the screen, frozen.

"you don't need to see the rest." he said.

"why not?!" I demanded. I needed to know what James had done to him.

"James tortured him." Alice murmured. "you really don't need to see it."

"I have to see it." I whispered.

"Bella, I'm already controlling the anger in the room so much. if you watch it, I won't be able to keep a hold on it." Jasper told me seriously.

"I have to see it." I repeated. Jasper sighed and unfroze the screen.

I saw Edward try to run for the door, and James to catch him in a second. I saw him thrown against the mirrors, the shards cascading down upon him. I watched as James picked up a piece of the mirror and slash it through Edward's leg.

I watched the door being flung open and James biting Edward's throat before I jumped at him. I saw Emmett and Jasper rip James into pieces.

I watched myself lower my lips to Edward's neck and bite him.

I saw as Alice and Carlisle struggled to restrain me and me finally letting my lips leave Edward.

on screen, Alice walked up to the camera and shut it off. the screen turned black.

"we need to destroy this tape." Emmett said, speaking for the first time through clenched teeth.

"I'll look after it." Alice said, in a false imitation of her usual perky mood. I could hear the anger and sadness behind the facade. she put the tape in her purse and turned to us. "Emmett will meet Edward's mother and Phil at the airport. Bella and Jasper go back to the hospital, I'll meet you there. I need to...think about some things." I was grateful for her choice for my companion. no doubt I would keep replaying the tape in my mind and would need Jasper's calming influence.

the two of us headed back to the hospital as Alice and Emmett departed. unfortunately the sun was still high in the sky, so we had to hail a cab. we sat in silence for the journey. me, because I was trying to control my anger for when I saw Edward. Jasper, because _he_ was trying to control my anger.

I led the way back into Edward's room and sat at the same plastic chair. Carlisle joined us and Jasper told him about the tape, never taking his hand off my shoulder.

Edward's sleeping figure looked wrong. usually when he slept, he whispered small phrases and random words. now his lips were still and the only noises I heard were the murmur of voices around the hospital, his steady breathing and the beating of his heart.

I guess that all I could do now was wait.


	24. Reaching An Impasses

I was awoken from my 'trance' by the door to Edward's room banging open. I looked up to see a rather flustered woman standing in the door. Carlisle stood behind her, looking at me anxiously.

looking into the womans eyes, I could tell that she was Edward's mother, she had the same vivid emerald colour eyes that I had fallen in love with. she rushed in and stood at his side, gently holding the hand not covered in bandages. I didn't think that she had noticed me at all.

I only wished that Jasper were here, he could have calmed them both down enough to explain to them. but the scent of blood had become to much for him so he and Emmett had headed back to Forks, leaving me, Alice and Carlisle to look after Edward.

"Mrs Dwyer..." Carlisle started. they both turned to him. I chuckled at her thoughts as she took in his appearance. she had obviously noticed nothing, aside from Edward. "...I am Doctor Cullen. I am helping to care for your son. I assume you spoke to my youngest daughter, Alice, over the phone?" he spoke in a velvety voice, trying to reassure her.

"yes. she sounds like a lovely girl." she commented, with a weak smile.

"she is. now, Mrs Dwyer-"

"please call me Renee." she said, looking back to her son.

"-Renee, I assume that you know nothing about your son's condition?" he asked, kindly. Renee shook her head, still not taking her eyes off Edward. "Edward has a few broken ribs, a lot of deep cuts and blood loss." he recited from memory. as each injury was listed, Renee cringed the smallest amount.

"how long...is he going to be...like this?" she asked in a small voice, her green eyes swimming with tears.

"we expect until the end of the week. three days." Carlisle said in a reassuring voice. she nodded and returned to stroking Edward's bronze hair. as she did so, Alice slipped into the room, causing Renee to look up. Alice held out her hand, managing to be her usual happy self, though the strain of the past few days showed on her face.

"Mrs Dwyer, I'm Alice Cullen. we spoke over the phone." she said, her voice relaxed and calming. Renee smiled at her and took her hand.

_goodness me, are they all this attractive? she looks very young...but her eyes...they're not. same as that doctor's._

I blinked a few times in shock. it was easy to see where Edward got his perception from.

however perceptive she was, she still hadn't noticed me in the room yet. I immediately left the room, using my full speed so her eyes couldn't catch me. Alice and Carlisle looked at me curiously as I left. I simply shrugged. she needed the time with her son to herself, without meeting his girlfriend in the same minute. and to be honest, I was a bit nervous.

I heard Alice excuse herself, under the pretense of finding me, and she joined me in the corridor.

"nerves." I said simply, while she rolled her eyes at me.

she took my hand and pulled me back into the room. only Renee looked up as she heard the door shut again.

"you must be Bella." she said, holding out her hand. I took it, hoping she wouldn't notice the cold.

"hello Mrs Dwyer." I said, taking good care not to show my teeth to her.

"my son picks well." was all she said, before releasing my hand and returning to Edward.

I could lightly detect a fainter trace of Edward's scent in her blood, but her's was missing the vital ingredient that made his blood so desirable. she smelled floral, somehow.

her wide green eyes reminded me somewhat of a small child's. their youthful naivety was evident in her actions and her thoughts. I had often been led to wonder just why Edward was as mature as he was. I guessed that he had been playing parent to his mother from a young age. well, that was what I gathered from the snapshots of hers and Edward's history that I collected from her thoughts.

she had spent most of her time over the next few days, remembering a more youthful and childish Edward. I grinned as she inadvertently showed me these memories.

the one this I didn't like hearing from her mind was the constant confidence that Edward would love Florida. it turned out that Phil, I guessed that this was the Phil that Edward had told me about, had been placed in a baseball team in Florida. she was constantly thinking about painting patterns for his room, the school he would attend and the fact that he would love the sun.

I really could not even begin to comprehend how much this would hurt me. even though I was already convinced that Edward would be leaving, her continual confirmation of this fact cut me deep. a hurt that I knew was only an echo of what I would feel when Edward actually left.

apparently, Renee Dwyer had already picked up on this. even though she had been observing me for only a few day, she knew that I was already completely in love with her son. that didn't surprise me though, what did surprise me was that she did not resent me for being her son's first love. on the contrary she seemed to approve of me.

_poor girl, I hate to see anyones heart being broken and she's head over heels for him. she'll be devastated when he leaves, but she's young. she'll get over it..._

I cringed slightly at the 'young' comment. if only she knew how old I really was.

and I could no sooner stop loving Edward, than I could stop the earth spinning.

vampires are unlike humans in many ways. our physical differences were just the tip of the ice-berg.

when we fell in love, truly in love, that was it. for all eternity there was no-one else.

we would never want anyone else. I had stopped believing that I had a soul when Carlisle changed me, and again when I took so much human life. but when I was with Edward, I could possibly believe the existence of soul mates. of how your soul was meant to find it's counterpart in another. of how that person has the keys to your heart to let your sincerest self out. and how you possess the keys to their heart.

if I could ever have a soul, I would have believed that Edward was my soul mate.

but there was no way that I could explain this all to Renee.

so I sat and listened to her thoughts as she gazed at her son, occasionally throwing me sad looks. I spent my time just watching Edward. watching his chest rise and fall, his mouth as he breathed, his hair in the breeze from the window. surely his mother knew him inside and out. if she thought he would want to go back to the sun and the warmth, that would probably be what would happen.

but I couldn't allow any false hope to blossom on 'probably'. so I spent my time ignoring the clock on the wall and the countdown that whispered deceitfully into my ear and just watched.

I paid no attention to the comings and going of Renee, my family, the doctors and nurses. so when I spotted Edward's hands begin to twitch, I looked up to find myself alone.

I heard his heartbeat pick up and his breathing become uneven. I held my own breath as I waited, sitting upright in my chair.

his eyelids flickered slightly and snapped open. he looked upwards to the ceiling, his eyes wide and confused.

his hands began to move backwards and I spotted his intent before he managed to push himself up.

"ah, ah, ah. no you don't." I said, raising a hand to his chest and pressing him down gently.

he laid back again quickly and looked to me. I smiled at him, thankful to see his beautiful eyes open again.

"Bella." he whispered, softly. his eyes widened again as something seemed to click in his head. "Bella! oh Bella, I'm so sorry."

"shhhh. every thing's fine. it's all alright." I soothed him. I couldn't fault him for what he did, even though he almost took himself away from me forever. he had acted out of protectiveness, loyalty and love. something that he should never be sorry for.

"what happened?" he asked, his velvety voice slightly rougher from lack of use.

"I was nearly too late." I said, hanging my head. "there was every chance that I could have been." my voice filled with shame.

"but you weren't." Edward said. his voice held no resentment. I raised my head again to look at him. his face mirrored his voice.

"when he had you, you were lying there so...still. I feared that I was too late."

"what happened to him?" Edward asked. "I remember him being pulled away. was that you?" I nodded.

"Emmett and Jasper took care of him." I told him.

"I didn't see them there." he said, his face slightly confused.

"they had to leave quickly. you were bleeding too much." I was so unbelievably proud of my brothers.

"you stayed though." his hand brushed mine gently. I smiled gently.

"I did." I whispered.

"thank you."

"Alice and Carlisle stayed too." I reminded him.

"did Alice watch the tape?" his eyes lit up as he remembered. I nodded.

"yes. she watched it. she understands now." I clenched my fists underneath the bed. that tape...I guess I shouldn't have watched it.

"I need to call my mom." he muttered, as the thought struck him. I chuckled. he obviously didn't realize how long he had been asleep.

"Alice already called her. Charlie too. Renee's here – in the hospital. she's eating at the moment." I told him.

"Renee's here? what did you tell her? why am I here?" he asked, trying to sit up again. I could see the grimace of pain he held back and stood to push him back again.

"you need to stay still." I told him as I pushed him back into the pillows. "you need to heal." he sighed and lay back down. he looked at me, urging me to continue. "we told her you fell." he looked slightly skeptical. "down flights of stairs and through a three story window."

"Renee believed that?"

"it could happen." I said, grinning. he rolled his eyes.

"why are you here?" he asked, suddenly. I blinked at him shocked and hurt. I frowned slightly.

"do you not want me to be with you?" I asked. a look of horror passed across his face as he realized what he said.

"NO! no! I meant why does my mom think you're here?" I breathed out slightly in relief.

"oh." I recited the tale that Alice and Carlisle had 'told' me. "you left Forks suddenly feeling bad about your mom. I came after you to try to talk some sense into you. my sister and my stepfather came along, because I would never go anywhere without parental supervision." I said, throwing him a mock innocent look to which he again rolled his eyes. "you agreed to come and see me so I could talk you into coming back and when you were on the way up to the hotel room I was staying in, that was when you fell." I smiled to him at the end of my 'story'.

"and how bad am I?" he said, gesturing to himself minutely. I cringed.

"you have broken ribs, severe blood loss and really deep cuts and concussion." I said stiffly as I rattled off his injuries, leaving out the most painful injury.

"how did you do it?" he asked, so quietly that if I were human I wouldn't have heard it. I knew what he was talking about.

"I'm...not sure. I knew that it was impossible to stop. I forgot it was you. I forgot everything. but then you spoke, saying my name, and I managed it." I smiled again at the end. it was because of me that he was alive.

"wasn't I as tasty as you thought?" he teased.

"better actually." I said, lightly as though commenting on the weather.

"then I'm sorry your meal was cut short." Edward said, still a mocking tone to his voice.

"of all the things you have to apologize for, _you_ apologize for the one completely out of your hands." I said rolling my eyes, but deadly serious. it was true. he did have a lot to apologize for.

"what do I have to apologize for?" he asked, confused.

"for nearly taking yourself away from me!" I stood from my seat and raised my voice. "do you have any idea what I would have gone through if you no longer existed?! if your life was wiped away?! it could so easily happen already! and for you to just walk right into the hands of a sadistic vampire, no less. one with the inexplicable urge to end your life! if I _had _been too late...to have been to the gates of hell and back twice over is no where near enough to express the _agony _that I would have gone through! Edward-" and that was all it took. just to say his name threw me off of the cliff I had so desperately been clinging onto. I fell back into the chair, rested my head on the mattress by his chest and sobbed, dry, tear less, broken sobs. I felt Edward's hand run through my hair as he whispered my name over and over again.

"I'm sorry." was all he said. it was all he could say, I knew that. I breathed in again and lifted my head up again. I looked into his tormented eyes as I spoke in barely a whisper.

"I know why you did it. it was still unbelievably stupid though. you could have told me, or Alice, or Jasper any one of us."

"there was no way that you would have let me go." he said in a strangled voice. I nodded. he was right.

"you're right. I wouldn't have let you. but we could have sorted it." I told him. though there was no point telling him now. what was done, was done. no matter how much I wished it to be so.

"he threatened to kill you if I didn't come to him. and my mom. how could you expect me to let something like that happen to the people I love?" he asked me imploringly. I closed my eyes.

"I expected you to keep yourself safe. or rather I hoped. I hoped you would stop being so damn noble and be selfish for once." I said.

"you really don't know me." he said, quietly.

"oh I do. I know to know that that was never going to happen. but I really_ hoped..." _I trailed off. "but you're safe now. _that's _what matters to me." I said firmly and raised my hand. I ran my finger down the side of his pale face.

I giggled slightly as the heart monitor sped up. and at Edward's now red face.

"as if you couldn't hear it before, now I have to listen too." he grumbled slightly.

it was true, I had been able to detect every single change in pattern of Edward's heartbeat. though it sounded different listening through a monitor.

"Hmmm, I wonder." I muttered before leaning in towards him. I heard the monitor beep frantically and struggled to conceal as small smirk. I hovered my head directly over his face. "what would happen, if I were to do this."

I closed the distance between our lips with the gentlest touch. the beeping fell silent. I drew back quickly.

"guess that you're more breakable than I thought." I said, frowning. I didn't want to have to stop kissing him.

"hey. I wasn't finished." Edward complained. I grinned at him

"your wish, my command." I said and I gently pressed my lips to his again. the monitor accelerated again but, thankfully, didn't completely stop.

_Phil had better call soon. I need to speak to him._

I groaned and pulled back from Edward. he looked at me questioningly.

"your mother." I said as an explanation before standing. Edward's eyes lit up and then dimmed.

"I don't want you to go!" he whispered frantically. I looked at his pleading face and nodded.

"I'll be...asleep." I said and wandered over to the sofa that lay against the far wall. I could hear Renee's footsteps down the hallway. I lay down and closed my eyes as the door swung open.

_She never leaves him, does she?_

"Mom!" I heard Edward whisper.

"Edward? oh Edward you're awake!" Renee cried, rushing over to her son. "oh I was so worried!"

"I'm sorry. but I'm fine now." I found it quite odd that Edward was the one soothing his mother. while he was in a hospital bed. I had figured out that his other had really depended on him, but I didn't realize that he was almost the parent in the relationship.

"it's just good to be able to talk to you again. you've been out for a week." Renee told him. I frowned slightly in my 'sleep'. I'd forgotten to tell him that.

"a week?" Edward echoed disbelievingly.

"you had to be sedated to give your body time to heal." _my poor clumsy boy. _"you were lucky that Dr Cullen was there." _nice man, very young though. _I grinned at the 'young' comment.

"you met Carlisle?"

"yes. and Alice. she's a lovely girl." _always so polite and happy._

"yes she is." Edward said, really emphasizing those words.

"you never told me that you had such nice friends in Forks." _maybe I should bring up Bella. yes._

watching Edward in Renee's mind eye, I saw him cringe slightly and then moan. my eyes flickered open to check he was alright.

"what hurts Edward?" Renee asked, worried.

"it's okay." he said, his eyes darting to mine briefly. "I just need to remember not to move at all." he said, smiling slightly.

Edward seemed to use Renee's distraction to move her attention away from me.

"how's Phil?" he asked, quickly.

"he's fine. oh Edward, you'll never guess – before I left, the best news."

"Phil got signed?" Edward asked, with certainty.

"yes, the Suns! how brilliant?!" _he'll love Florida! especially the house we found._

"that's great Mom." Edward sounded pleased. I waited for the moment that he would be told he could leave Forks.

"oh you'll love Florida! the beach! the house! the schools! oh it'll be perfect!" Renee practically sang.

"Mom, what do you mean?" Edward sounded confused. maybe he was taken aback by the happy news. he was so happy he hadn't registered what was going on. that could happen. right?

" I live in Forks."

...wait! what?!

"but you don't have to now!" _maybe he still has concussion?_

"Mom, I _like _living in Forks."

"...like...living in...Forks?" Renee sounded confused.

"yeah. I'm getting good grades and, like you said, I've made a lot of friends and Charlie _really _needs me. I mean, he can't cook at all!"

I really couldn't comprehend it. here was my greatest hope, answered, and I couldn't understand it. he wanted to stay.

an image of my surprisingly still form floated into Renee's thoughts.

"Bella. is she the reason?" like her son, Renee was amazingly perceptive. I guess she had noticed the way Edward' eyes had kept darting to me.

"she's...part of it." I heard Edward say cautiously. I was really struggling not to grin widely. "so, have you spoken to Bella?"

Renee had spoken to me. I had received an extended version of my interview with Charlie. I really hoped that she had been satisfied.

"yes." Renee said, simply. "Edward, I think that that girl is in love with you."

"good. because I love her too." my eyes opened widely. I saw Edward watching Renee's shocked expression with a slight amusement. his eyes moved to mine and he smiled. I smiled in return and closed my eyes.

"you...love..her?" Renee finally found her mouth.

"yes."

"well, she seems very nice and goodness she's incredibly good looking..." _they all are. _"but Edward you're very young."

"does that matter?"

"...no. I guess not." was all Renee could say. and then she sighed.

"you need to go?" how Edward managed to read people that well, I'll never know.

"yes, Phil said he'd call and I didn't know that you would be awake..."

"it's alright, you can go."

"I'll be back later." Renee reminded him. "I've been sleeping in the hospital." she told him.

"Mom, you could have gone home. I don't think I would have noticed."

_um...maybe I should tell him._

"I was a bit too scared to go home. there's been a lot of crime in the neighborhood. do you remember the dance studio down the road? I went there for my salsa lessons."

"yeah." I wished that Renee hadn't brought up the studio.

"some one broke in and burned the place down. they left a stolen car outside too." I guess that Alice and Jasper had dropped the car there then, I had been wondering.

"really."

"well, I'd better go. just remember to be more careful when you walk please honey. I don't want to lose you next time." I couldn't control my grin at that. I waited until I heard the door swung shut and crossed th room in a second.

Edward looked up at me, trying to suppress a grin.

"so, you stole a car?"

I shrugged.

"good car. fast." I said simply.

"have a good sleep?" he said, his voice heavy with sarcasm.

"it was interesting." I said carefully.

"what?" he picked up on that.

"I would have thought...you know...Florida, sun, warmth. you would have jumped at the chance." I shrugged again, feigning nonchalance.

"you thought I would leave you?"

"I would have thought that you would want to stay where I couldn't bring danger to you." I said simply.

"what do you mean 'bring danger' I thought that this was all my fault!" he seemed angry.

"I'm the reason that you're here." I reminded him.

"alive." he added. I frowned.

"barely. lying there, covered in bandages and gauze and attached to needles hardly counts!"

"I wasn't talking about my latest near death experience. take your pick of the others! I would be in Forks cemetery if it wasn't for you!"

I cringed at the idea of him. dead. but carried on.

"I should stay away from you. I am dangerous Edward. you should go to Florida."

his eyes widened and I heard the monitor begin to speed up. the pain had to be getting worst. the medicine had to be getting worst.

luckily a nurse walked in just then.

"hey there. time for more pain meds?" she asked kindly. I was surprised when he shook his head fiercely. apparently, so was the nurse.

"are you sure, there's no need to be brave." she said. he again shook his head. the heart monitor still hadn't calmed down.

but if he was refusing pain meds he couldn't be in pain. he couldn't be that masochistic. and anyway, he was fine one minute and in agony the next. I had two medical degrees, that wasn't how it worked.

no. he had reacted when I had told him about going back to Florida.

I sighed. how could I have this effect on him?

the nurse left the room and Edward turned back to me.

"you don't want me to stay with you?" he asked panicked. I placed my hands either side of his face.

"you say that as though I could actually manage to let you go." I said softly.

"promise me that you won't leave either." he said. I looked him right in his emerald eyes.

"I promise." I said and held his gaze. I slowly heard the heart monitor return to normal.

"good." he said. he seemed to consider something. "you told me that you stopped. why?" he asked.

I blinked. did he honestly expect me to have left him in that agony? he couldn't know what would have happened if I had left it. could he? there was a meaning behind those words.

"why didn't you just let the venom spread? by now, I could be like you and you wouldn't have to worry about me all the time." he continued.

how could he-? Alice.

"you have no idea what you're asking." I said, coldly. but I knew that it wasn't Edward that I should be angry at.

"I do."

"no you don't. damned to an eternity of the night. forced to kill to survive. this isn't what you should want." I said through gritted teeth.

"but the pros outnumber the cons." he looked me in the eye as he spoke.

"pros?"

"you not having to worry if I live or die. you not having to suffer each time you come close to me. and I get to spend an eternity with you." he spoke the last sentence softly. I really had no words to talk to him with.

"I'm dying, you know." he said simply. what?

"Edward, you're fine. a week at most and you'll be out of here." I was worried. he seemed convinced that he was dying.

"no Bella. I'm dying. every second of every day brings me closer. I'll age and die. seventy years at most, what's that to a vampire?"

to be honest I hadn't thought about that. I had been so conscious about not killing him myself, that I never stopped to consider what would happen if I succeeded and he would live his life.

"I would take up about seventy years of an eternity. that's like a second of a year. you'll forget that second soon." he continued.

"I could never forget you. but that's how it's supposed to happen. you are meant to live out one life. that's what everyone should live. Edward, I've had a century to get use to it and I'm still not sure." I said.

"do you wish that Carlisle hadn't have changed you?" he asked.

"no, I don't wish that." if he hadn't I would never had met Edward. "but I was dying, my life was over. you have a choice."

"no I don't. I did have before I met you, but do you honestly think that I'll take a normal human life over a life with you?" I looked away from him.

"I can't Edward. I can't do that to you." I couldn't. I could so easily lose control over him, even if I were to give in and try to change him.

"why not? it should be nothing after what you did."

"do you think that I would take that chance with you? do you think that I would risk your life like that?" he said nothing.

"and the pain?" I continued. he winced, obviously remembering the feeling of the fire coursing through his veins.

"what does three days matter to an eternity of happiness?" I winced this time. 'three days'? how much had Alice told him?

"you know it is possible to take bravery to the point of insanity?"

"Alice has already seen it hasn't she? me being one of you? that's why what she says upsets you. why? don't you want me to join you? do you think you'll get tired of me?" he said a flash of hurt in his eyes. my eyes widened. how had he reached this conclusion? preposterous!

"I will _never _get tired of you. I love you. enough not to take your life from you."

"but you'd be giving me a new one." he said.

"and what about the things that I can't give you?" I asked him, not looking him in the eye.

"you are all that I want." he spoke so seriously that I almost believed it.

"you don't know that." I decided to change the subject. "lie down. all this arguing can't be good for you."

"so give in then." he quipped. I smiled.

"not a chance."

"if you think that this is the end, you don't know me." but I did know him. know him enough that he wouldn't let this go.

"Edward, I will not damn you to an existence of a monster and that _is _the end."

"you're not the only vampire I know."

"Alice wouldn't dare!" I said with such a fire that a flicker of fear flashed across his face. I immediately controlled myself.

"maybe not, but she saw it. she knows that it will happen."

"her visions have been wrong before! they can be wrong again!" I said.

"you won't get me betting against Alice."

we were silent for a few minutes, only listening to the beep of the monitor and the constant drip of the I.V.

"so...where does that leave us?" he asked. I chuckled darkly.

"I believe it's called an 'impasse'" I said. how on earth had I come to a stalemate on this subject? he was so...stubborn!

he sighed but then flinched as a shot of pain went through him.

"you need pain meds." I said and reached for the button on the wall.

"no! don't! I'm fine." he said.

"why don't you want the pain to end? are you really that masochistic?" I asked him. I pressed the button.

"_yes?" _ a bored voice called through the static.

"I think we're ready for more pain meds." I said into the speaker, ignoring Edward's glare.

"_I'll send someone through." _the voice said and the static ended.

"it's not the pain. I'm afraid to close my eyes." he said. I ran my hands over his hair soothingly.

"I'm not going anywhere. as long as you want me, I'm here." I said, locking my gaze with his.

"you know, you're talking about forever." he said smiling.

"that's the beautiful thing about humans. you change." I ignored the probable truth that was falling from my lips. he glared at me.

"don't hold your breath." he muttered as the door opened. I chuckled at him.

I held Edward's stare as he watched me.

"there you go honey. you'll feel better now." the nurse said happily as she exited the room, humming under her breath.

as soon as she was gone I cupped Edward's face.

"don't leave me." he murmured, his eyelids drooping.

"I won't." I promised. "now sleep."

" 'kay"

I leaned into his ear as his eyes closed.

"I love you." I whispered.

"me too." he said quietly. I brushed my lips against his and stood up.

"Bella" he said, slurring his words. he struggled to get my name out.

"yes."

"I'm betting on Alice." he said, before drifting into sleep.

I would have been content just to watch him sleep, but first things first.

Alice.

**hey it's me. sorry I couldn't resist putting in that 'betting on Alice' line.**

**so...general point; please review, I love reading them. I think just two more chapters left now.**

**quick question: - do you think I should do a sequel or just leave it after this?**

**review and tell me.**

**hattii xx**


	25. Epilogue

EPILOGUE 

over the decades, I had grown wary of Alice's 'Bella Barbie Time'. but this time, when she sat me down in her bathroom, there was something different about her. more of an excitement, if that were possible.

she had also been blocking her thoughts for the last two weeks, so I thought that I had good reason to be on guard. Alice only ever blocked her thoughts when she was mad at me, or she had something to hide.

she teased my hair into long, natural curls. I wanted to look, but she had, annoyingly, covered every slightly reflective surface with a cloth of some kind.

I scowled at her as I saw this.

she simply laughed at me as she opened some new eyeshadow. I raised my eyes at her. I had never used make-up. ever. so why was she suddenly using it now? we didn't exactly need it.

I closed my eyes obediently as she came towards me with a make-up brush. she was done in almost 3 seconds. I guess there were some advantages to vampire speed that Alice had discovered.

she dressed me into a blue, knee length, halter neck dress that swirled when I moved. I looked at her. I liked the dress, but what was there to be dressed up for in Forks?

I noticed that, the longer I stayed in her bathroom the more I could detect a scent under the mask of perfume that Alice had sprayed in liberal amounts before I entered. Edward's.

_what was he doing in Alice's bathroom?_

Alice tied shoes around my feet, handed me a matching blue purse and stood up looking me over.

"perfect." she said. I rolled my eyes. not to sound boastful, but we generally looked perfect most of the time.

she finally decided to pull down the cloth from the full length mirror on the wall and she shoved me in front of it.

I looked at myself. my hair was unusually curled. I wasn't used to seeing my hair different, I rarely did anything different with it. she had left my lips their natural deep red, but had dusted grey eyeshadow across my eyes.

I did like the outfit she had put me in, though the formal attire worried me as to what I was going to be doing. I turned to look at her beaming face.

"will you give me any clue?" I begged. she shook her head giggling. I groaned. "you've been hiding it for weeks. why won't you tell me?" I asked. she simply smiled at me and pulled me out the bathroom door.

she stopped me at the bottom of the stairs.

"the rest of us will meet you there." she said and pushed me towards the door.

I looked at the spot where she had vanished, stunned and opened the front door.

I could only see the dark forest. I whirled around, annoyed at Alice, when my movement stirred the air.

Edward.

I turned back around and saw Edward sitting on the porch to the side of me. I looked at him curiously. he was dressed in a black tux and wasn't moving at all. though his face broke out in a smile when he saw me.

"hey." I said walking over to him. he finally moved and stood up, kissing my neck.

"hey." he murmured against my skin. the fire still scorched my throat as he was so close to me, but I forced myself to focus.

"do you know where we're going?" I asked, suspiciously. he straightened up.

"Alice managed to keep quiet this long? I thought she would have cracked by now." he said grinning. an indignant 'hey' was called through the window as Alice heard him. he chuckled.

"aren't you going to tell me?" I asked, looking up at him, wrapping my arms around his neck. he looked away.

"no. I refuse to be 'dazzled' into telling you." he said, grinning impishly. I scowled at him and turned away. "you haven't guessed yet?" he asked, smirking.

"no." I said, still looking away. he wrapped his arms around my waist from behind and rested his chin on my shoulder. even mad at him, I couldn't repress the shiver that flew down my spine.

I turned around to him and raised myself up on my tiptoes. as I leaned in, the front door banged open.

"go away." I muttered. before looking over in annoyance. standing there was Alice.

"you have to tell her Edward. she won't let anyone else drive her car." she said happily, walking towards us. Edward sighed before looking back to me.

"Miss Cullen, would you do me the honour of accompanying me to the Prom?" he asked, looking up into my eyes as he spoke.

I don't know where he got the thought that _I_ dazzled _him_. when I looked into his gorgeously green eyes, I lost all coherent thought.

_aww, so sweet. _I heard twice in peoples thoughts. Alice's and Esme's.

"are we all done listening in?" I called out to the house before turning back to Edward. "yes, Edward." I said, leaning up to brush my lips to his, not caring if Alice had left or not.

too soon, for me and for him, I had to pull back. he groaned as I did so.

"Edward, you know I can't." I told him, and myself, firmly. his life was so so much more important to me.

"I know." he said and he grabbed my hand. I pulled him to the car, which was parked out on the front. my Vanquish.

"that's your car?" he asked, amazed.

"yes." I said, letting go of his hand and walking around the front. "it's my baby. that's why, _I'm _driving." I said happily, before we both slid in the front and started of down the long, narrow drive.

"I hope you realize; I can't dance." Edward said, cautiously. looking to me. I laughed. I hadn't really expected him to be the 'dancing type'.

"it's okay." I said. "I didn't think you would be."

"my phone rang in my purse. Alice. I flicked it to my ear.

"Bella, do something for me." she trilled down the phone.

"sure what?" I asked, nervous of her ideas, I was too far away to listen in to her thoughts.

"when you get there; get out the car, walk over to Edward and kiss him." she demanded. "I promise you, it will be worth it!"

"okay. are you running or in the car?" I asked, questioning of her suggestion.

"running, Em and Jazz don't want to miss this!" she sang before hanging up. I wasn't sure whether I would like the results of this idea.

"Alice." I said by way of explanation to Edward's curious look.

we were at the school by now. I pulled into the almost full car-park, into my usual spot. I slipped the keys into my purse and got out, walking around to Edward's door. already people were starting to swam around the car.

Edward got out and, before he could say a word, I followed Alice's demands before I lost my nerve. I wasn't really into public displays of affection.

I ran my hands through his bronze hair and felt his hands come to rest on my hips. I walked him back against the car, waiting for whatever Alice thought would happen to happen.

I heard it then.

a short scream and a dull thud sounded. I broke contact with Edward to look around. I burst out laughing when I saw Jessica Stanley lying on the floor, with a very flustered Mike Newton next to her. and to make it even better, she had fallen into a very muddy puddle. in her newly bought dress. her expression was priceless.

_he brought CULLEN to the prom?! CULLEN! PROM! J_essica's thoughts were screaming at me. I smirked at her as I grabbed Edward's hand.

a great booming laugh and another slightly quieter laugh startled a few of the students standing around Jessica, making them jump. I looked to see Em and Jazz, laughing so hard that, were they human, they would have run out of oxygen.

Edward tried to cover my laughter with his hand over my mouth, but it was really too much to see Jessica lying there covered in mud and he began to laugh himself.

still giggling, I stepped over Jessica and headed for the school, pulling Edward along with me.

he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and lent in to whisper in my ear.

"that wasn't very nice, was it?" he said in a mockingly stern voice. I raised my eyebrows at him.

"hey, you laughed too." I reminded him. he shrugged and held the gym doors open for me. I giggled at the scene before me. there was actually crepe paper hanging from the ceiling and balloon arches. it looked exactly like the really fake teen movies Alice, Rosalie and I used to watch.

"it looks like a horror film waiting to happen." I said as Edward paid for the tickets. he pulled me into the crowd of people.

"says the vampire." he said rolling his eyes. "should I be worried? have you decided to act out your horror movies?" he teased, raising a hand to his throat. I slapped his chest gently and he chuckled.

"which side would you be on then?" I asked. "monster or dinner?" I grinned at him, wickedly.

"hmm, decisions decisions." he pondered lightly. I giggled again and wrapped my arms around his neck, resting my head on his chest.

I swayed from side to side lightly and he followed suit. I could feel his rhythmic heartbeat against my cheek as we moved. looking around I could see my brothers and sisters twirling around the dance floor, if in a style completely unfitting to the music and time. I caught Jazz's eyes as he turned Alice around. he raised his eyebrows at me and grinned, before turning back to his wife.

"I could get used to this." Edward muttered after a while. I looked up at him in mock horror.

"of dancing? surely not?" I said, my hand flying to my neck. he rolled his eyes at me.

"no." he corrected. "of not having to let you go." he said, smiling at me. I rested my head on his chest again and closed my eyes.

"me too." I muttered. I felt his lips press to the top of my head and failed to conceal my grin.

_where are they? damn Cullen! _ I snapped my eyes open as some familiar and unwanted thoughts entered my head. I looked around and saw Leah Clearwater standing at the gym door. she was dressed in jeans and a simple t-shirt, ignoring the pointed looks many people were throwing her.

I hissed when my eyes locked with hers. Edward looked down at me in confusion. his eyes followed my line of vision. he sighed when he saw the object of my anxiety.

"behave." he whispered, quietly.

_Cullen! over here! now! _my eyes widened as Leah 'spoke' to me. she knew?

"I'll speak to her." I murmured, slipping out of Edward's arms. he stood against the wall of the gym, watching me as I walked towards her.

as I got to the entrance, an all too familiar scent hit me. I had smelt it once before on those _dogs _when we made the treaty. the gene must have passed down the stench through the generations, though it wasn't as clear on Leah.

"what is it you want?" I asked, getting straight to the point.

"outside." she muttered, loathing in her tone. she turned on her heel and walked out the double doors. I turned around to see that my siblings had stopped dancing and were watching me with concerned eyes from the dance-floor. their thoughts bombarded me as I walked to the door, but I waved them off as they tried to follow. I could handle a teenage girl.

the school grounds were quiet and black to the human eye, aside from the lights shone from the gym windows. I saw Leah standing at the edge of the surrounding forest and walked slowly over to her.

"what?!" I asked, annoyed at her.

"I have a name, you know." she said, petulantly.

"so do I. Bella. not just 'Cullen'." I snapped.

"fine then _Bella," _she spoke mockingly. " I was elected to come and speak to you about Edward." her eyes danced at his name and I growled quietly.

"what about?" I asked, curtly. she ignored me.

"you're quite sick. aren't you? a vampire in love with a human." I hissed at her when the word 'vampire' left her lips. she smirked at me. "oh yes, Cullen. I know. I know everything. ever since dad and I saw the two of you together in his truck and you...practically _disappeared from sight _I was wondering what you were. and then I remembered the old folk tales I had told Edward at the beach. at first I laughed. vampires couldn't be real. but then when I so naively questioned my father, he told me _all _the old tales." I didn't miss the emphasis she placed on 'all'. "and how they were _all _true. so yes, Cullen. your secret isn't all that secretive." she finished jeering at me. I growled at her.

"you're bound by treaty." I hissed. "it's still as secretive as it always was. just an extra, meaningless girl knows." I said.

"perhaps." she said musingly. "but that still isn't the reason I'm here. as I said, I was elected to turn up here and speak to you." Leah stopped again, looking at me before carrying on. so yes...anyway. enough with the _nicety's_. I shall get to business." she said clearing her throat in a businesslike manner. "leave your _boyfriend_." she said bluntly. I looked at her in stunned.

"excuse me?!?" I asked. half angry, half shocked. she smiled, vindictively.

"you heard me, leave him. let him be safe. let him be with someone..._human." _she said, sneering the last word. it was obvious who she had in mind.

"oh really? and who would that be, exactly." I asked, scathingly.

"well, _I_ happen to be quite hu-" I cut her off.

"human? please! with your genes you're no more human than I am." I said looking her up and down. she looked at me, with a rage in her eyes.

"leave the human!" she hissed. "and we'll say no more."

"never!" I snarled at her and turned on my heel, not looking back. as I walked back I saw Alice and Jasper standing outside the gyms doors. the pair of them ran to me, immediately.

"it's fine." I muttered, before brushing past them. they followed me anxiously. I opened the door and scanned the room for Edward. my face broke out in a smile when I saw him across the room, his eyes trained on the door. I hurried across to him.

"what was that about?" he asked, taking me in his arms again. I averted my eyes from his, not wishing to tell him. he ducked his head until his eyes were level with mine. I sighed.

"her _tribe _know about me and my family. they think that I am a danger to you." I said, still not looking him in the eye. "though, I guess I can't deny that." I mused. I heard his sharp intake of breath and continued. "but that doesn't matter, this human experience is what matters." I looked into his vivid green eyes. he seemed unconvinced. his gaze turned thoughtful as he though over what I said.

"human?" he asked. I bit my lip, noticing my slip of words. "human?" he repeated.

I took a deep breath and turned away, taking his hand as I moved. I pulled him towards the doors from which I had just walked through.

I led him to a bench, bathed in moonlight, away from the buzz of voices that he would hear. he sat down, gesturing for me to join him but I stayed standing.

"the point?" he prompted.

"I said human because I don't want my presence in your life to take anything away from you. you need to still live a normal life and I will try to make that happen. I want your life to continue almost as it should have done if I had died in nineteen-eighteen like I should have done." he shivered at my dark words. I looked to him curious.

"what did you think I meant?" I asked, though I knew it already. he sighed.

"I thought that maybe you had changed your mind." he murmured, not meeting my eyes.

it both shattered and healed my heart to know how much he cared for me. how much he was willing to give up for me.

"you're really serious." I asked. he nodded mutely. "ready to give up so much, for so little. ready for the sun to come down on your life, though it's barely begun?"

"it's not giving anything up. if the only thing that I care to lose is you." he said, finally lifting his eyes to mine. I could see that he meant the words. he meant them now. but what about in five years or ten years when he no longer thought that way. what if I had given in by that time. he would resent me for all eternity.

"I'm not worth it." I said, sadly, knowing the words were true.

"you're worth everything."

"you know what I am."

"you know I don't care."

I examined his face for a long time. his jaw was set in determination and a fire blazed in his eyes. I leaned in close to him. leaning in closest to his throat. I could hear his blood like a never-ending drum beat. I wouldn't be the one to end it.

"and you're ready now?" I asked, bluffing. the edge of my lips grazing his skin.

"yes." he barely whispered. I was disappointed at his reaction. it was as though he had already fully made his choice and was intending to see it through

"right now?" I murmured against his neck. I could hear his erratic breathing and feel his body tense, bu he wasn't pulling away.

"yes." he repeated. I pulled away.

"you didn't honestly believe that I would give in _that _easily?" I said raising an eyebrow. he shook his head.

"no. but I could hope." he said, his voice clearing.

"Edward," I said raising my hand and tracing his lips. "I will stay with you – isn't it enough?" I asked.

"enough for now." he said. I breathed out sharply and dropped my hand. his own lifted and cupped my face.

"look, I love you more than everything else in the world. so much that it almost hurts. isn't that enough?" he asked. I knew what he was really asking and yes, it was enough to change him if I were to let myself be that selfish. but I played dumb and almost reciprocated his answer.

"enough for forever." I said, smiling. he leaned in and pressed his lips to mine again.

neither one of us will give int tonight, nor any other night would we agree. but I could let myself live in the moment. to enjoy what I had before it was taken from me. I could do that.

for now anyway.

**long A/N – but please read – it's the last one!! :)**

**A/N – *cries for 2 hours * well, that's it. the end of my first ever fan-fiction.**

**oh well. more to write now. I've decided I will do a sequel...and as much as it will kill me to do it - Bella will leave. but remember ... to do another story, she has to come back so all will be good. *HURRAY***

**I know Leah was a bit of a bitch in this chapter, but she needed to be. I needed her to plant the idea of leaving into Bella's head for the next book. and I know she's not meant to know yet about vampires ... but it's my story so – oh well!!**

**thank you to every-one who reviewed. I love reading all of your reviews. thank you especially to the people who reviewed each chapter. wipes away happy tears***

**and please read and review the sequel when it's up... which I'm not sure when it will be, but it'll be soon. I love to write too much to stop. - :D**

**any ideas for a sequel name? - I'm a bit stumped**

**bye – and thanks again.**

**hattii xx **


	26. SEQUEL

**I promised myself I wouldn't do this...but just so you know...**

**I have started my new story. the first chapter is on my profile. **

**it's called...**

**MY SHATTERED HEART**

**hope it's a good name. I'm sort of sticking with the 'his green eyes' theme with it, but because Edward won't be in it much the title's about Bella.**

**hope you enjoy it.**

**hattii xx**


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